Post-Opp & IUI "PLAN"

We have a PLAN - we actually have a PLAN! Testing DONE. Surgery DONE. Now --> the PLAN to really get moving on trying to have Baby C!!!

Had my post-opp appointment with my RE this afternoon. The biopsy from my polyp showed up non-cancerous. I didn't know until he said those words - "Non-Cancerous" - that I was pretty worried that I may have had cancer...

After that, we started discussing THE PLAN. Which is going to happen in a few WEEKS!! Yes, WEEKS instead of MONTHS! It feels like I've been waiting forever, evaluation after evaluation, test after test, procedure after procedure. Now the time is quickly approaching!!! Imagine, Baby C can become a little bean with a heartbeat in the next few months. I am very excited.

Here is THE PLAN: Medicated IUI with Clomid 

Here is the Process: 

1. Call the clinic on CD #1 of Cycle --> Schedule U/S on CD #2, 3 or 4. This will repeat the trans vaginal U/S I had done on 12/30. They will count my follicles in my ovaries and check for cysts. 
2. I will then take Clomid for 5 days. See more on Clomid at the end of this entry. 
3. "Mid Cycle" U/S --> Schedule U/S on CD #11, 12, or 13. Check the size, number of mature follicles, measure the uterus lining (thickness, pattern). They check to make sure the lining is >7mm and check for the "Triple Layer". 
4. Take a Trigger Shot (HCG) --> this will force ovulation in 40-42 hours. 
5. After 36 Hours --> IUI!! 
6. I will be taking Progesterone Vaginal Suppositories. 
7. Then: the infamous TWO WEEK WAIT. 
8. After 2 weeks, if AF hasn't shown - then take the blood test to check HCG levels. HCG levels are ideally above 50. But what's most important is that the number doubles after 2 days. That means PREGNANT! 

It almost seems unreal that I'm actually moving forward with all this and that Baby C can be a reality in the next few months. Crazy emotions with all this. I can't wait to just START. 

The thing that scares me on the "process" is the SHOT! I have to give myself a SHOT (#4). Ugh. The RE said it's not that bad and that they'll show me how to do it... but a SHOT! :(  

All the rest of it I kind of figured from reading so many message boards. I'm going to be on a VERY low dose of Clomid to begin with. The RE said if I have more than 3 mature follicles, we won't move forward with the IUI and will skip this cycle...! Risk is too high for multiples at that point. Hopefully, I'll produce 1 or 2 mature follicles. I will be at risk of 8-10% of having multiples using Clomid. I have about a 20% chance that the IUI will work. 

Here's to praying I'll get lucky on this first cycle!!! 

Now, it's the waiting game. I have to wait for my cycle to start (it just ended last weekend). AF is expected to arrive around 3/18. 

Oral Clomid Treatment from my nifty handout: 

Clomid (Clomiphene Citrate) is an oral medicament that induces, or regulates, ovulation. Clomid does not directly stimulate the ovaries; it exerts its effects at the brain's hypothalamus, the gland that signals the pituitary to produce FSH, LH, and Estrogen. FSH stimulate the ovaries directly and the response is dose related. Clomid competes for estrogen receptors causing the hypothalamus to "read" lower estrogen levels. Healthy follicles produce estrogen which is monitored by the hypothalamus and FSH product is increased/decreased based on the estrogen levels. As estrogen levels increase, FSH production decreases. Conversely, lower estrogen levels cause an increase in FSH and subsequent follicular stimulation. 

Cheat Sheet - Fertility Acronyms: 

• RE: Reproductive Endocrinologist 
• CD: Calendar Day 
• IUI: Intrauterine Insemination 
• U/S: Ultrasound 
• TWW: Two Week Wait 
• HCG: Pregnancy hormone. 
• AF: Aunt Flow. 

Monroe arrived TODAY!

Received confirmation from FedEx that Monroe's little swimmers arrived at the fertility clinic. Also, received a call from the clinic confirming that all 4 vials arrived. YAY!

T25 - Day 1

I won the weight loss challenge for one week (a few weeks ago) and got $60! I now want to win at least ONE more week, then I'll break even with my buy in of $120. I would love to win the POT at the end of the 10 weeks. However, this one lady has one almost every week - besides two. I think she may be the one that will win it at the end.

My workouts have been VERY sporadic. I haven't been able to make it to the gym more than 1x a week. Some weeks I wasn't able to make it at all. Between work, kid's appointments, my appointments - it's been nearly impossible to make an hour. I knew this would happen and I've been OK with it. 

Yesterday I decided to get a little more "committed" to working out. I HATE working out at home... I really do. I'm more of a morning workout person than an evening workout person. I just don't have the energy at the end of the day, most of my energy is jumbled in the morning hours. 

Little Guy used to wake up at 5/5:30am every morning. Lately, he's been consistently sleeping until at least 5:45/6am. YAY for that! I decided to try this working out from home thing again. I used Focus T25 before and have the videos. I actually have MANY workout videos!! But this is the quickest and pretty effective workout. It's 5 days a week, 4 days is 25 minutes, and 1 day is 50 minutes. Here's the "Game Plan: 

• Go to sleep by 9PM every night! Lay out workout clothes before going to bed. I've been going to sleep closer to 10-10:30pm. 
• Wake up at 4:15am, start workout at 4:30am. Eat breakfast afterwards (another area I haven't been doing consistently). 
• I printed out the T25 calendar so I can visually see it at my desk and am X-ing out the completed days. 

Last night I went to bed closer to 10pm!! But I still woke up this morning at 4:30am and started the workout at 4:45am. A little later than planned, but I did it! 

Now... to stay focused and get through the first week. 

Where oh where did the little sperm go...?

I had a mini-freak out. The Donor Sperm was scheduled to be delivered on 2/18/15. I received the shipping information on Monday, 2/16/15 and decided to check the tracking on 2/18. Well... it said "No estimated delivery date available at this time." 

Really? OMG. I was just thinking about all the waivers I signed when I purchased the sperm and whether or not I would have any recourse if the sperm did not make it to the clinic - got lost or something.  Not a good thought when I spent over $1400 on Donor Sperm...!

I emailed the clinic and they checked the shipment. Turns out the shipping was delayed due to weather conditions and will be delayed for 2-4 days.

Next thought: How long is the shipment tank good for?

Answer from the clinic: The tank can keep sperm frozen for up to two weeks.

So we *should* be ok, as long as it gets delivered next week. Checked today and there is still not an ETA on the shipment.

Thank goodness I ordered in advance and didn't have a procedure scheduled or I would've been screwed.

Also, Donor Monroe is now sold out. I knew he would sell out within a few weeks. Glad I purchased when I did - just maybe I should've shipped earlier or later... Ugh.

Now to ask the Shipping Gods to PLEASE deliver the sperm safely to my clinic within the two-week period so that the precious little swimmers don't go bad... :(

Surgery...! I survived!

Yesterday I had my hysteroscopy. I couldn't sleep the night before the procedure. I was also not to eat or drink after midnight -- so of course I kept waking up thirsty and hungry!! 

My friend was nice enough to move around her schedule and take me to the appointment. Since I was going under anesthesia, I needed someone to drive me home. 

I don't think I was nervous-nervous until I had to walk back to the "prep room". Before we did that, I was able to complete the "Sperm Storage Agreement" since Monroe is arriving on Wednesday 2/18! All 4 vials of the magic-baby making- sperm. Monroe, don't let us down! 

Once I was in the prep room, I had to put on a hospital gown, put booties on my feet, and cover my hair. I had to sign away my life with waiver after waiver after waiver!!! The nurse explained the procedure again and asked me a million questions. Took my vitals, blood pressure - temperature. Then it was time to put the IV in.... 

Ugh. 

I have "hard veins" and she had a hard time finding a viable one. She checked both arms and took her time. She finally settled on my left hand. Geez, that thing hurt!!! I can't watch them stick me with needles, so I always turn away and close my eyes and focus on my breathing. It's  not the blood that bothers me, it's the actual needle piercing my skin. I had a horrible experience a few years ago with a person that poked me 8 or more times to draw blood. Then she did it wrong and I ended up having to go back and have it done all over again... Traumitized I am and remain to be of needles. 

After she got the IV in, I guess I bled profusely- all over my hand and all over the chair and all over the floor. I didn't look. Lol. The IV was uncomfortable in my hand, probably because I was focusing on it. Then the nurse started the saline "drip" - that stuff makes you cold! They also started some antibiotics. 

I then had to test my blood sugar levels. That wasn't fun either...! The monitor wasn't working and I had to do it three times before we got a reading. It was 115, which isn't bad. 

I was then able to lounge back and "chill" out in a recliner. Then the doctor came in and asked if I had any questions. Then the anesthesiologist came in and asked me more questions. He wasn't as warm or friendly as everyone else. I did have a lot of questions. 

Finally the nurse came back and it was time to go. I had to use the restroom... Which was odd using the toilet with an IV and saline drip on one side... Hmm. 

Once I walked into the surgery room -- that's when I got really scared.....!! It's scary looking in there. I had to lay down on the table and put my arms in a "T". Then they put sticky stuff on my chest, heart rate monitor on my finger, and then put a mask on me to start putting me under. I started feeling something sting in my left arm from whatever they were putting in there, but I was out by the time I took my third deep breath. 

I woke up and was a bit emotional -- crying and stuff. A though I wasn't sad. It was weird, I was also a little forgetful asking the same questions over and over. Lol. I had a bit of pain in my private area and can feel myself bleeding (which is normal and expected). 

But overall, I felt fine! I wasn't nauseous  or anything. I even was able to eat In-N-Out when we got back home :) 

I wasn't able to sleep though - I felt a bit "wired" but still tired - so I just laid around watching bad TV. My first pee hurt pretty bad - but after that, not much pain. I had some cramps, not terribly bad. 

I slept really good when I finally fell asleep and am feeling ok today. I have some light bleeding, but it's not bad at all. Like spotting. I don't even think I'm going to use the prescription for pain that my doctor gave me. 

All in all - things went well. I have to have a "normal cycle" and then the NEXT cycle I get to start IUI with Monroe's little swimmers. Getting excited to make Baby C - it's about to get real, I can't wait! 

Visit from Social Worker

First visit from Social Worker today. I wish I could say that I know more about Little Miss's case. Nope. 

I did find out that she may not be short term after all, that she may be staying a long time....! I didn't anticipate this. It's never clear with these cases and anything can change, so you never know for sure. 

Looking forward to talking to the Client Manager next week to hopefully get more details on where everything stands. 

Joy of foster parenthood -- always in the dark! 

Donor Sperm Purchased!

That was a weird experience... purchasing Donor Sperm. I actually BOUGHT sperm. Very strange. I feel oddly committed to my Donor Sperm persona - Monroe. As mentioned in a previous post, he was the "Donor of the Month" at the Sperm Bank I chose. They offer a deal, Buy 1 Vial - get 1 Vial Free. I bought 2 vials, so I'm getting 4.

The sperm is purchased. It's getting shipped directly to my Fertility Clinic. I signed waivers. Still need to sign the "Specimen Storage Agreement" for my Fertility Clinic, which I can do next week when I go into surgery. 

It all feels so odd. I can't explain it. I ultimately just chose the sperm that will help me get pregnant (here's to hoping!!). It only costs me about $1400. LOL. My goodness Sperm is such a commodity. Necessary in my case being a Single Mother and all. 

I'm really hoping that I can get pregnant in the first try - then I can "save" the other vials for a sibling a year or two after Baby C is born. 

My Baby C... Praying I ordered the right sperm to help you become a reality. :) 

Back to the Gym

After such a crazy January, I was FINALLY able to go back to the gym today for Zumba. Man, I absolutely love Zumba! So much fun. 

As part of trying to get pregnant, I'm supposed to be trying to lose weight. I'm happy to report that I've lost 11 lbs since Dec! 

I haven't been able to work out as much as I would like, but I have been able to try and watch what I'm eating - eating less. Working on making better decisions. But this is good. I'm hoping to get 10 more off by March to get to an even better weight. 

Court Update

Well... Really, there is no "real" update because nothing has changed. 

Birth Father showed up to court really late, but that didn't even matter because we didn't get into court until about 30 minutes after the "posted time" anyways. 

It was awkward seeing the Birth Father this time... Usually we small talk, but there was so much tension between him & the "rest of us" (GAL, Case Manager, Liscensing Worker, AG). Everyone wants the case to "end" with Little Guy finding permanency & it's just drawing out. 

As much as I sympathize with Birth Parents that have their children in foster care, it becomes difficult when the parents are not doing services and aren't doing anything to get their child back. At this point, I just wish the "best interest" of Little Guy was taken into consideration by his Birth Parents. He's been in care since he was born, he's happy, he's doing really well. There's really no progress they've made and severance of parental rights is imminent... 

This was a Report & Review / Pretrial. The case plan is staying the same: Severance/Adoption. 

Next R&R / Pre-Trial is April 28 and the trial is still scheduled for May 27. 

The judge loved seeing pictures of Little Guy. Our judge is also changing going forward, as current judge is retiring. 

Can't really say more due to confidentiality... But was really disappointed how slowly things have gone in this case. For Little Guy not to have any permanency STILL is frustrating. He will not have any permanency until late this year... When he's 20 months old maybe? Ugh. 

Some good that happened is that no additional relatives have shown up. The relative that they were looking at is no longer interested in taking him due to financial reasons. Also, the judge denied a major request that would have been pretty hard on Little Guy if granted. 

I guess I expected nothing major to happen. But was hoping for something more on the progress towards permanency... 

Hysteroscopy Pre-Opp

I wasn't thrilled about the decision to have a Hysteroscopy... After the pre-opp, I'm now a little scared! Here's how the conversation went: 

Diagnosis: 1) Uterine Filling Defect (Fibroid or Polyp) 

Options: 

1. Do Nothing -- Avoid Surgery, Lower Pregnancy Rate 
2. Surgery -- Better pregnancy, Risks of Surgery 

Official surgery name: Hysteroscopic Polypectomy 

Risks: 

1. Anesthesia complications. 
2. Bleeding 
3. Infection 
4. Injury - Uterine Perforation --> Stop, Laparoscopy 
5. Fluid Overload --> Stop 
6. No guarantees of pregnancy 
7. Recurrence (it can grow back) 
8. Scarring --> Infertility 

The "Risks" are supposedly low, like less than 1% for any of the above things to happen. But man... Those risks are SCARY. Right? 

Let's hope Lady Luck is with me this month. I swear, I need her right now. I don't want anymore set-backs or anything major to happen that would lead me to not be able to get pregnant. Yikes. 

Need to say a prayer... 

Found a donor?

The Seattle Sperm Bank has a "Donor of the Month" where you can get a GREAT deal, buy 1 vial - get 1 vial free. The donor of the month they have right now is pretty amazing: 

• He's over 6 feet tall 
• He has his JD 
• He has blue eyes 
• Athletic 
• Family Medical history is AMAZING - hardly anything listed. 
• He's an open donor. 
• His interview sounded nice. 
• He has 2 daughters already. 

He's a relatively new donor, so no reported pregnancies from the sperm bank. But if he has 2 daughters already, it must be good then? 

There's another profile that I kept going back to because I was in love with the childhood picture. But he has a lot of blemishes in his family medical history, including diabetes - which I'm trying to stay away from. 

I'm going to sit on this for a few days... But I think I'm going to go with this donor! What I'm thinking: Buy 2 vials and get 4, but only ship 2. That way, if I get pregnant in the first two IUI cycles, I can either keep the vials for future sibling tries or "return" them. Seattle Sperm Bank has a great "buy back" policy if the vials aren't shipped. 

Oh my... this is about to get REAL when I purchase the vials...! I need to keep an eye out so he doesn't sell out. 

So crazy, but hopefully it really is just as easy as this. Hoping he has the magic swimmers to get a BFP (big fat positive) on the first few tries...! 

Message Board & Blog Obsessions

I can't help it, I keep reading blog after blog, review after review, and message board after message board on all things related to Artificial Insemination & Donor Sperm & Fibroid/Polyps. 

It's like my mind can't stop thinking about the possibilities. I want to hope that I'm one of the *lucky* ones that gets pregnant right away. I've never had much where luck was concerned! But maybe this is it?

I have to keep reminding myself that it will all happen with God's timing. Just need to be positive during the down swings and grateful during the upswings. 

I can read and read and read everyone else's experience, but until I get the process "started" with my first IUI cycle, I'm really not going to know how things are going to play out. 

I keep thinking... "In a few months I can be pregnant!" Such a strange feeling. I also am wondering how I'm going to tell my brother & friends. I still haven't decided how much I want to disclose. 

With all this Baby C wrapping around my mind, I have court for my Little Guy tomorrow.... And I can't help but feel panicked. He's still not "legally" my forever son & it scares me that there's still a possibility he can be taken.... My little love, I just can't imagine. Can't imagine my life without his joyful light. 

So much to think about... So many possibilities. Need to stay positive.