New Birth Certificate and SSN

I recently picked up my son's new birth certificate! It was a surreal experience seeing my name listed under "mother" and seeing my son's new name. 

When picking it up, I asked if they needed to see the adoption order. She said, "No, you're the mother. Just need to see your ID." 

Going to the Social Security Office was an adventure... Took 2 hours! I've never been to the SS office before so had no reference on how it all worked. Worse than the DMV! Seriously. But... At the end of the day, we were able to get a new SSN for my son, just waiting for the card to arrive in the mail. 

It still feels so surreal to me. He's MY son! I'm still trying to wrap my head around the "future" - that there is a future with him. 

One day it'll just feel "real" and "normal" to me, I'm sure. It's hard going from worrying every single day that he'll be taken from me, to thinking he's here "forever".  Now, the fears of raising him right are kicking in! Because however he turns out will be on ME! And only me. Oh my... Such a shift in thinking and such a huge responsibility. 

Thinking about my parenting style, what kind of mom I want to be. Am I doing it right? Am I messing him up? Am I spending enough time with him? Am I helicopter parenting? Am I disciplining right? 

All "Normal" parenting worries I'm sure... And I'm so grateful that I have normal parenting things to worry about with him instead of foster parent worries! 

I am so lucky to be his mama :) 

Act of Kindness

I decided to attempt to go out to dinner with both boys today. I haven't actually gone out to dinner with both boys yet. Although I've done other things with both kids (store, zoo, events, etc). Mostly because Munchkin has his 5pm "witching hour" where he's extremely fussy. I normally work around nap and witching hour for outings. And, truth be told -- I haven't gone grocery shopping! So, it was go out for dinner or order in. 

I decided we would go to Olive Garden. Someone complimented me on how well behaved the boys were :) Which is really nice to hear when I was stressing out trying to accommodate both of them. Little Guy was perfect! You never know with him, but at dinner he was being so good. Munchkin didn't have his normal fussy-crazy stuff going on. He got a little fussy at the end, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it normally is. 

The nice thing is -- someone paid for our meal!!! I don't know who it was, but I suspect it was the nice man that complimented my kids. How very nice that was!!! I've never had an act of kindness done for me like that. I was very touched by it. 

Made me want to reciprocate and pay for someone else's meal. Instead, I gave a big tip to the waiter, he was a nice talkative kid. 

How very sweet and thoughtful of someone to do a simple act like that. Makes me want to give back more to others. 

So wonderful, nice, and unexpected. 

Wish I could tell this person, "Thank you!" :)

2nd Birthday!

This month we celebrated Little Guy's 2nd Birthday! Can't believe my baby is already 2 years old. Time is going by too quickly. 

Birthday - Day

What's interesting about the whole Adoption thing is now, we can create our own Family traditions! For Little Guy's 1st Birthday, we were in Florida on vacation - so we did stuff like go to Disney World, Chuck-E-Cheese, Kennedy Space Center, the beach, etc. 

This year, there wasn't so much go-go-go. Which was REALLY nice! I think I like the laid-back aspect of really just enjoying his birthday. The week before his birthday I would tell him, "You're going to be 2 years old in X days!" Being the toddler that he is, he would say, "NO!" when I told him that. LOL. 

On his birthday, once Little Guy woke up, I went into his room singing Happy Birthday to him with a chocolate chip cookie slice. 

He then opened his birthday presents that were from me and from some foster care organizations that provide birthday presents to foster kids. I gave him a scooter for his birthday. He's still learning how to use it! 

Then for breakfast, I cooked home-made pancakes and sang Happy Birthday to him again :) 

Then, we made his cake together. He helped crack the eggs, mix the ingredients into the bowl, and mix the batter. He really liked the hand mixer! For dinner, I sang him Happy Birthday again :) 

The Party

Birthday Theme: Thomas the Train 

Birthday Party Location: Local Gym, where the kids can run around on the equipment.

Little Guy's party was the day after his actually birthday. For Little Guy's party, I purchased these cute invites on Etsy. Then, printed them from home on card stock. I'm really loving the Etsy thing these past few months! 

Some pictures from the venue: 

Purchased this cake for the party: 

We had a lot of friends make it out for his birthday party, which was amazing :) All the kids had fun playing at the gym. I'm just reminded how blessed we are to have such wonderful people in our lives. We are so lucky. He received some really fun toys, books, and cool clothes. I am always amazed at how generous our friends are. Really, their presence at his party was gift enough for us.

Here are our Thank You cards that we sent to everyone (bought at Party City). I'm happy I was able to get them out within 2 weeks from the party! I normally take a little bit longer to mail Thank You's out... if they get mailed at all! I included a group picture of the kids at the party and also a picture of Little Guy opening the gift they provided. 

Overall, Little Guy's 2nd Birthday was a lot of fun. We started some new family traditions and got to celebrate with our friends.

I still get tears in my eyes when I think about him being my Forever Son. There are going to be so many more birthdays to share together. I'm so grateful. Sometimes I wish I could press the PAUSE button and enjoy him while he's still little. But at the same time, I'm so amazed at the wonderful little person he's becoming. My Little Guy, I love him to pieces. How did I get so lucky to be his Mama?

I'm already planning Birthday #3! I'm thinking the Zoo would be a fun venue for him and his friends. 

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Post-Cycle Consult + Next Steps for IVF #2

Had my Post-IVF #1 Consult with my RE today. There's no way to really tell why the cycle didn't work, just need to change the protocol. I did find out that my Estradiol levels were good for my first two blood draws. But my third blood draw, the levels weren't high enough.

IVF #2 Plan

My RE wants me to do the following precycle for at least 1-2 months prior to my IVF cycle:

• DHEA: 75 mg/day 
• CoQ10: 2x's/day 

The plan is to be more aggressive with the meds. RE said that I'll be on the highest dosages that I'll get on.

• IVF Protocol: Lurpon "Microdose" Flare. I'll be on Lupron 2x's a day, but a very low dosage. Also, instead of 10 days before the injections begin - I'll start only 2 days before injections. 
• FSH/LH Injections: will be 2x's a day. 
• AM: 150 iu Gonal-F, 75 iu Menopur
• PM: 225 iu Gonal F, 75 iu Menopur

I'm starting Provera today to try and induce my period this month. We are aiming for a February Egg Retrieval, but the timing may not work and it may have to be in March. 

• February Egg Retrieval: Week of 15-20. Period needs to start by January 17th.
• March Egg Retrieval: Week of 14-19. Period needs to start by February 14th. 

The weirdest part is: the time between cycles. With IUI's my cycles were monthly. Now, with IVF#1 being cancelled - it'll be 4-5 months since my last IUI (in October) before I can even "try" with IVF #2. Feels odd not "trying" every month and instead "waiting" or doing "stims". I just hope that the change in protocol and the increase in meds leads to an actual egg retrieval! Will see how it all goes down. 

One of the staff members told me to "keep my chin up" and to stay positive. They are so supportive and sweet. I can't imagine ever leaving this RE's office because of how nice they are to me! I also was able to donate my PIO shots to my RE's office. I received them after my cycle was cancelled and they expire in 30 days. Hopefully another woman can get it for free and save some money. 

Another interesting thing about moving forward is insurance coverage. I am changing providers beginning 1/1/16. My "coverage" stays the same, since it's through my employer, but just hoping things are still smooth running. 

I wish I can say how I feel about this whole thing. Truth is, I feel a little disconnected from the process right now. Not really sure why? I guess because I have absolutely no control over what happens next or how my body will respond to the meds this go-around. I need to think about things and decide how I'm going to handle it, so I have realistic expectations for IVF Cycle #2. 

Next Steps: 

• Start Provera to induce AF in December. 
• Call RE's office when AF begins this month. 
• Order DHEA and CoQ10 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Budget Project: Baby Steps #1 and #2

Update on my Budgeting Project! Which thankfully, has been going extremely well. As I've mentioned before, I'm following Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps to work on getting out of debt. Here's a quick update.

Baby Step #1: $1,000 into an Emergency Fund -- DONE!

I am now complete with Baby Step #1. I have to admit though, I've done baby step #1 multiple times and I *always* ended up tapping into it! This time, I'm going to make sure I'm more disciplined and held accountable and NOT touch it.

Reasons I tapped into the emergency fund: travel expenses, holiday costs, TTC costs. Not true "emergencies". So, now I've completed Baby Step #1 for the 5th or 6th time! Time to stick with it. So far, so good.

Baby Step #2: Pay off All Debt with the Debt Snowball -- IN PROGRESS! 

Things that have stalled my debt snowball: The holidays, the adoption costs, December birthday costs, and the IVF charges.  Haven't made much dent into my debt snowball. But good news is, I'm curving my spending somewhat. I have the following debt to pay off:

1. Student Loan debt
2. Outstanding Credit Cards - only 2 cards carry a balance. Out of those, only 1 of those I actively continue to use for the above mentioned debts.  

Budgeting using YNAB

I've been using YNAB consistently for 3 budget months now (Nov, Dec, Jan).

First, I'm BUDGETING! Sadly, this is the first time in my adult life that I've kept to a real - true - honest budget. After the hurdle of getting acquainted with YNAB, I've really gotten used to it. What I've changed about my habits:

• Daily: I input any expenses "on the go". For example, if I get gas - I input it at the gas pump on my app. Makes life easier to have everything in there as the expense happens. The great thing about YNAB is it remembers your payees, so this is really quick. I have gotten behind on this a little bit because I seem to be spending left and right for Christmas. Need to be more consistent! 
• Time: Takes only a few seconds. 
• Weekly: I have a Reminder set on my phone to review expenses / clear transactions from my accounts. Why weekly? Honestly, it was just to keep me honest and to keep me on top of it! It only takes a few minutes. I only have 3 accounts I really "work" with: my checking account, my savings account, and my only active Credit Card. This is also when I reconcile my accounts. I've started off doing it weekly, so I can get into a habit. Also, so there's "less" to reconcile at a time. 
• Time: maybe 10-15 minutes (tops - but this is mostly due to learning curve, I expect this to be more like 5 minutes in the future). 
• Monthly: Once a month (usually on the 20th of the month) I've been setting my budget for the next month. I chose the 20th because all of my current-month expenses are cleared by the 20th.
• First, I reconcile my accounts, to make sure I didn't miss anything from my weekly reconciliation. I was importing the transactions from my accounts, but since I'm inputting my expenses "on the go" - I do not have a need to import. This saves me time. 
• Second, I input all income I expect for the month I'm budgeting for. I'm a month ahead, so what I earn in one month, I spend for the next month (i.e. November earnings go to December expenses). 
• Third, I input all the planned expenses into my bank ledger for the next-month, so I can get my "working balance" (just a thing for me - I like knowing how much to expect in my account, one way I reconcile). This makes weekly reconciling easier, since I do the majority of the work here. 
• Time: 15-20 minutes 

I'm in the process of seeing where I can curve expenses. Expenses that I plan to cut in 2016: 

• Massage - Yearly Savings $708
• Gym Membership - Yearly Savings $245 

Rainy Day Funds and Savings Accounts 

Something new that I'm going to start, now that the new year is rolling around - I'm going to start allocating funds to my Rainy Day Accounts and Savings Accounts. I just need to assign values to each category: Ultimate Goal, Time to Goal, and then monthly allocation. What's great about this is that I can figure out the values relatively easy since I'm in the mist of the holiday/birthday season. Here's what I'm planning to save for: 

• Christmas Fund
• Kid's Birthday Fund
• House - Hardwood Floors 
• Travel/Vacation 
• New Car 
• Pet Care - these costs always seem to sneak up on me! 
• Gift Events 

Rainy Day Funds: 

• Emergency Fund 
• Clothing 
• Car Repairs - going to need new tires soon 
• Home Maintenance 

I totally customized my Budget Categories. The goal around this was to look at my optional spending and see about curving the costs. I also wanted to lump together my expenses that I need to report on my taxes. I work from home and track my utilities for tax reporting. I love how you can totally customize YNAB categories to whatever you want. Originally, I had the traditional categories (House, Utilities, Food, Auto, etc). This works so much better for me. It just took me a little while to get used to the different organization, as I prefer the traditional categories for mental peacefulness. 

• Mandatory - Monthly Fixed
• Mandatory - Monthly Variable 
• Mandatory - Not Monthly 
• Tax Reporting - Monthly
• Tax Reporting - Variable
• Savings - Mandatory (Rainy Day Funds)
• Savings - Optional 
• Optional - Monthly Fixed 
• Optional - Variable 
• Giving 
• Pre-YNAB Debt 

What's been difficult: It's hard because I normally like going by the balance in my account. Previously, I would move all my extra funds into my Savings account and keep the balance in my checking account at $100 (one way I reconciled). I have a higher interest rate in my savings account, the main reason I moved the funds.

Now, I'm going by the budget since I'm saving for future costs and just keeping the funds in my checking account. Was thinking I could still move it to Savings, but it takes too much extra time to look at each category, add it up, and move the right amount. So, now the balance in my checking account is higher than I normally keep it because all the "savings" funds are staying in there. I'm still working on overcoming this mental barrier to accept that since I've been doing my old method for the last decade or so!

Overall, I'm extremely happy with YNAB! I just need to stay on top of things. Now, I need to curve my extra spending and start making a dent in my Debt Snowball. 

Declutter Project: The Garage, Part 7

Finally making headway in my Decluttering Project! I've had time to really clear out the garage. It's not totally done yet, but it's very-very close!

I forgot to take a before picture. But beforehand, my little car would barely fit in the garage. 

What I did: 

• Broke down all my boxes. So many from Amazon and diapers! 
• Donated old stored kids clothes and toys to Goodwill. 

Still needs to be done: 

• The boxes were broken down, but they can't fit in my recycle bin. Working on bringing them directly to the recycle center. For now, they're located on the left side of the garage. 
• I'm donating one dog crate to my veterinary office. The other dog crate is getting moved to the backyard. Also, donating the cat crates to the vet as well. 
• I have a ton of pet/baby gates. Getting rid of them in bulk trash next month. 
• I have a few boxes of shredding I need to bring somewhere to get shredded. Too much to shred on my own. 
• There are 3 boxes of items I need to sort through and/or put them in their right place in the house. 
• I have two fake Christmas trees. Waiting to hear if a friend wants the one I'm not using. If not, going to donate it. 
• After all that is done, maybe reorganize and/or add overhead storage. Want to move things around to be able to fit two cars in. Even though I only have one car! Lol, still want the space to be cleared for two. 

I've lost track of how many bags of items I've brought to Goodwill, how many were trash, and how many were recyclable. 

Thoughts on IVF #1 being Cancelled

It's been a few days since my IVF cycle was cancelled. Now that I'm off stim medication and have a little more perspective (AKA not emotional), I think I'm OK writing about it now.

Originally when the cycle got cancelled, there was so much disappointment around it. I've been focused on this IVF cycle since IUI #6 failed in October. That's 1 1/2 months worth of anticipating all that is involved in IVF-land. Since I responded so well to my IUI injectables, the thought of being a non-responder to the medication didn't even occur to me to be within the realm of possibility. Now, I know better. IVF is such an intricate process. Every-single-step in the IVF process is critical and the cycle can be cancelled at any step along the way.

What's interesting, is I knew this with my IUI cycles. I was always anticipating my IUI cycles being cancelled at each monitoring appointment. Why that anticipation didn't carry-over to this IVF cycle, I'm not really sure. I suppose since I've been at trying to conceive for so long, without any major delays (cysts, non-response, etc), the possibility of the IVF cycle being cancelled just didn't register.

How I imagined this IVF cycle to go: stim and have 10-15 follicles at egg retrieval, have at least 5 make it to a blastocyst, with a fresh cycle transfer on day 5, and with some to freeze. Then the real hope of all hopes: that I would get a Christmas BFP with Baby C arriving in September 2016.

So much dreaming, imagining, and hoping for a cycle to finally work and to realize a beautiful dream of having a birth child.

All of it got smashed when the cycle finally cancelled.

Looking back at it now, I'm actually glad the cycle got cancelled when it did. If I went through Egg Retrieval and had no eggs make it to day 3 or day 5... that would have been even more devastating. Not to mention the Egg Retrieval being a serious thing (the one part I was scared most about). I would've hated going through all that and then not have any viable eggs. So, I'm grateful the cycle got cancelled early enough to avoid that. In all honesty, I think that possible scenario would have been 10x's more devastating.

Everything happens for a reason, that I know for sure. I have no clue how this is all going to end. One year into TTC and there's not much to show for it besides a big hole in my pocket book. Hoping 2016 will be the year TTC will lead to a BFP... fingers crossed.

I haven't decided what I'm going to do next yet. I'm actually predicting that the way the cycles work with my RE's office, I'm probably looking at a February or March IVF cycle. Which seems so very far away. I do know that I want to move forward, I just don't know when that's going to be or what it looks like right now. I'm not giving up yet. I have at least one more IVF cycle in me. Hoping the protocol is good and I actually respond to it this time.

Next Steps: 

• 12/16/15 @ 9:15 am: IVF #1 Post Mortem Discussion and Next Steps 

For more details on my IVF #1 process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Cycle Cancelled

I had my monitoring appointment this morning. Things didn't go well, this IVF Cycle is cancelled. They didn't see any growth in my follicles, most were under 10 mm. Only 1 in my right ovary, but was still small. Then 2 in my left ovary, which were also small. The largest one was in my left ovary and hadn't grown since Sunday.

Originally, I thought I'd be able to convert the IVF to an IUI. But the RE said there were no viable follicles to do that. With the largest one not growing, it probably does not have an egg in it and the others are so small. So, no IUI.

Of course, after Sunday I knew the cycle could be cancelled. But I thought that I'd be able to convert to an IUI. So, I was really bummed from that. I cried again, but this time was able to hold it until the end. The nurse gave me a hug and the entire staff looked so sad for me. They have all been rooting for me over the last year. I really like the staff there.

But here I am... a cancelled IVF cycle. So crazy. I didn't think of this as a possibility when I started this whole thing. I was entirely too optimistic. Almost like with my IUI's, I was sure that I would get pregnant within 6 cycles. This journey has had so many bumps in the road for me. Who knew it would be so difficult and hard and long to have a baby :(

I think I processed the possibility of the cycle being cancelled on Sunday and was prepared for a bad outcome for today. I've been so busy with other things that I haven't had a quiet moment to really process this loss. Now, I'm faced with new choices:

1) Take a break from TTC or
2) Move forward with another IVF cycle under a different protocol.

I guess technically there's a third:

3) Stop TTC all together.

For now, that's not an option... I just can't stop right now.

I have a consult with my RE next Wednesday and will see what he says/suggests.

I feel a little numb about the entire thing. On Sunday it was devastating news. Today, it felt inevitable and numbing. Ugh. Not to mention that things get so much more complicated after this, as I will be back to work next month - can I make the monitoring appointments? Will I need to use vacation time? What if this happens again? When do I stop trying? How much more can I put my body through? <sigh>

I've decided to wait until my discussion with the RE to decide anything. Right now I'm thinking going forward with another IVF cycle is what I want to do. Have to look at the timing and everything... Let's see what is to come.

Next Steps: 

• 12/16/15 @ 9:15 am: IVF #1 Post Mortem Discussion and Next Steps 

For more details on my IVF #1 process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Stims Days 6-8, Possibility of Canceling IVF Cycle

Here's how Stims days 6-8 went down... not good news for this IVF Cycle. For the other stim days see:

Stims Days 1-4
Stims Day 5

Stims Day 6 (12/4)

Brought my son to a kid museum. There were so many pregnant ladies with either 3 kids including a newborn or 2 kids and pregnant. It was definitely a little overload for me! My Little Guy seemed to enjoy it for the most part. It's funny, he's so independent. Some other kids his age were very dependent on their moms. But seeing so many pregnant women and so many newborns in one place... And being on all these medications! Ugh. Was a bit much. 

Not having coffee is really getting to me! It's not like I used to drink a lot. Just 1-2 cups a day. But going without it in the morning feels like something is missing. Oh how I long for my cup of coffee... Coffee... Coffee... <sigh>  

Stims Day 7 (12/5)

A very emotional day. Darn meds. I'm also really-really tired. Normal activities tire me out quickly. Still getting the perpetual headaches and feel like I need to nap, but then can't! Ugh. A few hot flashes as well. Joy-joy. Also, the injection sites keep bleeding. Thinking I'm just hitting bad spots maybe? More annoying than anything. 

Stims Day 8 (12/6)

Much anticipated monitoring appointment today, ultrasound and bloodwork. I have to admit... I was worried! These were the questions I was considering:

Would my egg retrieval get finalized? 
Would I get my trigger day/time? 
Would I need more monitoring appointments?

So many questions that I hoped would be answered by this day. Instead, we discussed the possibility of canceling the IVF cycle... My follicles are not developing as quickly as they'd like. It's weird too because through all my IUI's, I stimulated really well to a low dose of injectables. Now, I'm on such a high dosage of meds and I'm stimulating about the same as I did for my IUI's.

I wasn't prepared for the discussion of canceling the IVF cycle. I knew in my head that it could happen. I knew that if I didn't stimulate well, that there's no point in going through with the egg retrieval. I just wasn't ready to hear it. Wasn't prepared to hear it. I was ready to discuss trigger times and finalizing the egg retrieval day/time. Not ready to hear that all of this could be for nothing.

I go into my appointment and the vaginal ultrasound is the most painful/uncomfortable than it's ever been. The RE was trying so hard to find the follicles... I knew it was bad before he even said anything. I know what a developing follicle looks like and they weren't showing on the ultrasound. Basically, I have 1 lead follicle in my right ovary and 4 small ones. The left has 2 large ones and maybe a few small ones. So, a total of 3. Three. That's it. Just like my IUI's.

After the ultrasound was completed, he told me that there was a possibility of canceling the cycle. They want 4 or more follicles to do IVF. He talked about the possibility of converting it to an IUI instead. I couldn't help myself, I cried. I'm so overly emotional on these meds. I knew it was coming and couldn't stop it, the tears came and came. Ugh. First time I cried in the RE's office in front of the RE and the nurse. I'm sure I'm not the first one to cry... But it was still embarrassing to be so vulnerable in front of them. I even warned them before it came because I couldn't stop it from happening.

I'm pretty upset about the entire thing. After all this IVF stuff-- this is what happens. It's just heartbreaking. To think, I didn't even really want to do IVF. It took a lot of thinking and considering before I decided to move forward. Now I'm here and it's not going well.

I have one more monitoring appointment on Tuesday where the decision will be made on what happens next. What I need to decide is:

If there are <4 follicles - do I have an IUI done instead?
If there are >5 follicles - do I still go through with the IVF cycle?
Do I do nothing and cancel the cycle and not do an IUI?

I hate these choices. My head is spinning. I know statistically that IUI success rate is so low after 6 IUI's. However, here I am with follicles -- do I try this month or let the follicles go to waste? It all just sucks. I'm so upset about this. This process is so crazy and so emotional and so heartbreaking. It would be great for it just to work.

Not to mention that it feels like I'm never going to be able to have a baby. It just seems like the odds are stacked against me and nothing is working. It makes me so sad. I've tried to remain positive through all of this, all the IUI's, all the appointments, all the medication, all the BFN's. It's just so hard sometimes. Right now it feels like it's just too much.

Not to mention, if this cycle doesn't work (whether I convert it to IUI or do an egg retrieval) -- the thought of doing another IVF cycle is hard to think about. I don't know if I can make all the monitoring appointments when I'm working... not to mention having to meet my insurance deductible and out of pocket expenses again. Ugh. This process is a time suck and a money suck. It's like an endless pit of suckage.

I used to tell myself that it would be all worth it in the end when I had my Baby C in my arms. But now, who knows if there will be a Baby C at all... :(

Hoping for better news on Tuesday. Let's see... 

Next Steps: 

• 12/8/15 @ 8:45 a.m. - Ultrasound and Blood Work. 10:00 a.m. Acupuncture. 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Stims Day 5

Had my first monitoring appointment today for IVF. I also had my acupuncture appointment.

Ultrasound

The ultrasound went really quickly, but the results weren't where I wanted them to be. The results:

• Right Ovary: 4-5 follicles 
• Left Ovary: 2 follicles and a cyst! 
• Uterine Lining: 11.56

The RE didn't seem worried about the cyst... Said some women get a cyst during stims, that they're just going to ignore it. Ugh. Not sure how I feel about it and scared to check Google-verse. So maybe I won't...

So potentially 7 follicles developing right now. I was hoping for over 10... I had about 15 at the baseline ultrasound. 

I'm a little worried. But, can't really let myself worry about it - just have to see things through and see what happens. 

My fears are that I won't have many mature follicles and that I won't have any embryos to transfer and/or freeze. It's a true fear and a possibility, which is scary... Because the % goes down. Not all eggs are mature, not all mature eggs will fertilize, not all fertilized eggs will divide to a 5 day blastocysts. I wanted to start off with enough so that I would have a few left at the end of the entire process.

To go through all this IVF stuff, you really hope and pray for good results. It's so much to put your body through. 

Anyways. I'm trying to stay positive. Some days are more difficult than others, especially when the results aren't what you wanted or expected. 

Forgot to mention, I'm HIGHLY emotional - I'm assuming due to the medication. Since I started Stims, I am so easy to cry! 

Christmas card shopping = cry fest. 

Sad news stories = cry fest. 

Happy news stories = cry fest. 

You get the point. My emotions are all over the place. Darn meds mess with your balance. 

Just praying that this process will get me Baby C at the end of all this. Praying - wishing - hoping.

Blood Work 

Results for E2 = 280.5

Acupuncture Session #4 

I had my acupuncture session today. We focused on my headaches. The sessions are becoming more and more relaxing as I continue to go. Felt light again afterwards. Wish that feeling stuck all day long!

Portal Message: Medication Changes 

I received the portal message and here's what it said:

Based on your lab results your medication dosages have changed. Please follow the new dosing starting with your next scheduled dose.  

TONIGHT: 12/3
Gonal-F 300 iu
Menopur 150 iu
Lupron 5 iu  

FRIDAY NIGHT: 12/4
Gonal-F 300 iu
Menopur 150 iu
Lupron 5 iu  

SATURDAY NIGHT: 12/5
Gonal-F 300 iu
Menopur 150 iu
Lupron 5 iu 

The only real change is the Gonal-F is going up to 300 iu (was at 225 iu). I have to think that they weren't happy with my response thus far then. Hoping the change in dosage will help push more follicles to develop. Fingers crossed.

Next Steps in IVF-Land:

• 12/6/15 @ 9:30am: Ultrasound and bloodwork. 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Stims Days 1-4

I'm supposed to stim for 8-10 days. So technically, I'm about half-way through stims right now. Which is crazy to think that Egg Retrieval is NEXT week!!! It's getting so close to being here. Here's how Stims Days 1-4 went for me.

Stims Day 1 (11/29): 

After Stims Day 1, I started getting this horrible headache. Normally, when I go to sleep with a headache it's gone by the time I wake up. Nope, not this time. When I woke up the next day, the headache stayed ALL day long. It was so bad. Which made it worse is, I had my annual eye exam that morning and had my eyes dilated :(  I ended up going home and having to sleep until my eyes got back to normal, it was just too much. 

Stims Day 2 (11/30):  

Not surprisingly, I was able to mix the medications without reading the instructions! Guess I've been at this for awhile now, almost feels intuitive and natural mixing and injecting medication. Odd. 

Stims Day 3 (12/1): 

I had my Acupuncture Session #3 this day. Since I was getting the headaches on the medication, she put the needles in places to help with the headaches. I felt so good, I fell asleep a few times! Afterwards, I felt extremely "light". Not sure how to explain it.

Doing Stims this night, I made a mistake with the Gonal F pen! I dialed it up to 225, then put the needle on. Well, when I was twisting the needle on I accidentally pushed down and some meds got squirted out!! I was like "NOOOO!" Luckily I only pushed out 25 iu. But still, meds are expensive! Felt like such a waste.

Strange, but I also bled a lot when I took the needle out after doing the injection. I don't normally bleed at all. If I do, it's just a little bubble. This time, I had to put pressure on it to make it stop bleeding. Not sure what the difference was? Maybe just that one spot was sensitive or something. Who knows. I also got a headache again this night and into the next day. 

Stims Day 4 (12/2): 

I had my Blood Work this morning. I was going to the zoo with my son, so I brought him along. I was a little worried what he would do while I was getting my blood drawn. But surprisingly the staff just took him and entertained him while I got my blood taken. Have I mentioned how much I love my RE's office? I just love the staff there.

The blood work today was to test my Estrogen (aka Estradial, E2) level. The result = 197. I'm not sure if that's good or bad... I'll need to ask tomorrow when I go in for my Ultrasound and more Blood Work. This is the time where they might start changing my dosage of medication (increase or decrease).

Today, I'm also supposed to start checking the Portal Messages. The portal message today said: No Medication Changes. So, I'm guessing they were happy with the blood results. Let's see what happens tomorrow. Hoping for good news that a lot of follicles are developing! Fingers Crossed. 

Next Steps in IVF-Land:

• 12/3/15 @ 8am: Ultrasound and Blood Work. @ 10am Acupuncture Session #4. 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Stims Day 1

It's that time... The time I've been waiting for --> IVF Ovarian Stimulation. This is where the big stuff for IVF starts happening. I'll stim for 8-10 days. Depending on how I react to it and how well I stimulate - will impact when my Egg Retrieval is. Here's how it works:

1. I start stims (11/29). 
2. I will go in on Day #4 of Stims and get blood work (12/2). 
3. I'll have an ultrasound and more blood work done on Day #5 of Stims (12/3). 
4. Depending on how these appointments look, I'll get additionally monitoring appointments scheduled (every 1-2 days) and might have to adjust my medication dosage (higher or lower). 
5. I'll need to start checking the online portal every day starting on Day #4 for any direction changes on my medication dosage. 
6. Then, they'll tell me when to do the trigger shot. 
7. They'll schedule the Egg Retrieval (tentatively scheduled for 12/10). 

I enjoyed my last morning cup of coffee yesterday. I have to admit, I was sad to drink my last cup :( Nothing like morning coffee.

Here are the directions on my IVF calendar:

• No Caffeine, Alcohol, Tobacco. Limit exercise to walking only and avoid heavy lifting. 
• No Advil, Ibuprofen, Aleve, or Motrin
• Use Protected intercourse only.

Lupron Update 

I thought I didn't have many side-effects to the Lupron at first. But as I continued to take it, I experienced: Dry skin, acne, short tempered, and some headaches. No fun :( 

Stims: Day #1 

Today begins the IVF cycle. Injectable medication being taken:

Gonal F: 225 iu

Menopur: 150 iu

Lupron: 5 iu

Mixing the meds wasn't too bad. You mixed all three into the Menopur vial and then have only one needle injection: 

I went really slow with the mixing. This is my first time with the Gonal-F pen and combining medications together. Going slowly helped, I think I'll get the hang of it pretty quickly though. 

One rookie mistake I made. I was recapping a needle and the needle pierced the outside of the cap and got my finger! Ugh. This is the FIRST time I've had a mistake with the needle before. Hurt like hell. Thankfully, this happened after I was done with the injections - was just getting ready to put it in the sharps container. 

The injection hurt going in, some burning sensations. Then the site of the injection was a bit tender afterwards. 

Start Medications: 

I had to start a few oral pills as well. 

• Baby Aspirin: 81 mg
• Zithromax: 1 pill, 500 mg - for 3 days

Continue: 

• Prenatal Vitamins
• Metformin: 2x's a day, 500 mg

One other thing I'm going to give a shot is using a heating pad on my tummy for 20 minutes a day. My acupuncturist said it'll help and I've read on a few boards that it helps the follicles develop. It can't hurt to give it a try! Also, drink plenty of water. My acupuncturist told me to drink the water at room temperature, not cold. 

How do I feel?

I feel a little disconnected from the IVF process today. It was a long holiday weekend being home full time with the boys. I'm just tired. I have a busy week ahead of me. I wish I knew how all of this is going to turn out. I'm trying not to jump and worry about the end result, as each step in the process is so critical. I also am so worried I'm going to screw up the medication somehow. Hopefully I'll get the hang of things and I'll stimulate well to the meds. 

Next Steps in IVF-Land:

• 12/1/15: Acupuncture Session #3
• 12/2/15: Blood work
• 12/3/15: First Monitoring Appointment (Ultrasound and Blood Work), Acupuncture Session #4

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Gratitude: Week of 11/22/15

It's been fun doing weekly gratitude lists on my blog.!What's better is that I'm reading my list every morning and adding 1-3 things a day. With IVF kicking up steam in Decemeber, I've decided to switch to monthly gratitude list blog entries going forward, as I'm not sure I'll remember to post or have time! So although I'll continue to add things I'm grateful for everyday, I'll only have one monthly blog entry. 

Here's my gratitude list for the week of 11/22: 

1. Watching Munchkin develop and grow. 
2. Writing the adoption Thank You cards.
3. Good friends that listen to my daily venting! 
4. When the house is quiet. 
5. My Kindle White Paper 
6. Lazy mornings with the boys. 
7. My crazy hyperactive dog who thinks he's a baby. 
8. Thanksgiving Fun Runs with the boys. 
9. Spending Thanksgiving with wonderful friends. 
10. Being a Forever Mama!!! 
11. Making plans for my family. 
12. Having time to do things with the boys. 
13. Receiving our adoption announcement/Christmas card in the mail! They turned out so good! 

Halloween 2015 with the Caped Crusaders

This is a little late! Meant to post last month, but things got really busy and I never finished writing it. Better late than never, here's how our Halloween went :)

The boys were Batman and Robin for Halloween this year. I wanted to do something that was in theme with each other and this is the best I could think of. I'm thinking next year, I'll dress up as well... maybe!

Agency Halloween Event 

My Foster Care agency has an annual Halloween event. I really like it because it's small and just enough for little ones. They have a bounce house, gave us free pumpkins, gave cupcakes and cakes away, activities for the kids, face painting, family photos, and even a small Trunk or Treat for the kids.

Little Guy was scared in the bounce house! Not big enough for it I suppose. He won free cupcakes and got a lot of new car toys. He did cheat a little and was just grabbing them out of the basket instead of playing the game... LOL.

When we were doing the Trunk or Treat, there was one car that had a rat that jumped out at you. Little Guy was just going along, getting candy, when the rat jumped out at him and he starts screaming!!! It scared him so bad, poor guy. I'm standing there feeding munchkin a bottle and I can't pick him up. Not to mention I was laughing a bit... It was classic. Wish I have gotten it on video! Luckily there was a fellow single-foster mom there that took him and helped him get through the rest of the trunks. He was very cautious after that and kept an eye on the rat, kept looking over his shoulder at it. Got to love Halloween.

Carving a Pumpkin

This is the first year that we carved a pumpkin. Last year, he was just way too small. This year, I thought it might be fun for him to play with the pumpkin guts. He was actually so grossed out by the pumpkin guts that he just kept saying "Ew" and refused to touch it with his hands.

He did love the pumpkin once it was done and was fascinated with the light.

Our Pumpkin

Daycare Halloween Party

The boy's daycare also had a small Halloween Party where the boys got to wear their Halloween costumes. It's nice that we had all these events and the boys got good use out of their costumes!

Halloween Day 

Halloween Day was an interesting one. Both kids woke up grumpy from their afternoon nap! It's like they just knew we were going to do something that night, so they didn't nap very long and then woke up all cranky. I was worried they weren't even going to make it out the door to try Trick or Treating.



Luckily, both kids made and got dressed. Munchkin was very fussy once we left the house. Can't blame him, we left the house when he's normally going down to go to sleep!

Little Guy practiced all day saying "Trick or Treat!" He was saying it really well. But once we went out to Trick or Treat, he didn't say it at all. Just went up to the people and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do. He tried going into every single house! He was too short to ring the doorbell, but he tried. He did end up getting a whole bunch of candy. Candy that he couldn't eat (or that I won't let him eat). Munchkin was a grumpy mess the entire time. I had to put him in the Tula carrier, he cried if he wasn't in there. He fell asleep for a little bit, so he didn't enjoy his first Halloween very much! Didn't even get to go up to a door. I'm sure next year will be a different story for him. I'm also sure that Little Guy will have a funner time next year as well, as he starts to understand things better.

All in all, Halloween this season was nice! The boys got to wear their costumes multiple times, we had a bunch of events that we attended, and Trick or Treating was semi-successful. 

So much to be thankful for!

This was our first Thanksgiving as a Forever Family. It was also Munchkin's very first Thanksgiving! We have a lot to be grateful for this year. Little Guy finally having permanency, welcoming Munchkin into our home, starting our Forever Family, having wonderful and supportive friends - just to name a few. We have had a very blessed year for sure. 

Turkey Day Fun Run 

We woke up early and headed over to the local Turkey Day fun run. I've been doing a Thanksgiving fun run the past few years. Normally, I would actually *run* a 5K. But since I haven't actually been running this past year, a one-mile walk with two small people is all I could manage! 

The fun run I chose for this year was closer to my house and smaller than the ones I've done in the previous years. Which was really nice! I didn't miss the huge crowd! Next year, we will definitely stick to this fun run. 

They had a big sign we could write what we were grateful for. Here's what I wrote: 

Munchkin fell asleep in the carrier before the race got started, so I carried him the entire way. Little Guy got out and ran for a little bit of the time in the beginning. We were actually one of the last people to finish! Lol. But I wanted to give Little Guy the opportunity to "race" a little. I'm sure next year he'll be running more than he did this year :) 

Here's Little Guy getting ready to cross the finish line: 

We even ran into one of our friends at the event! Her husband was running in the 5K. 

Thanksgiving Dinner

We don't have any family here, so we went over to our friend's house for Thanksgiving. The kids call her Grandma. Little Guy and I spent the holidays last year with them. The boys had so much fun, especially Little Guy. He was running around and playing with all the other kids. The other kids were so good with both boys. Munchkin got spoiled and was held almost the entire day. It was nice to get a semi-break from being the sole person watching the boys! It's very nice of our friend and her family to take us in. We are very fortunate to have such wonderful people in our lives to invite us to be apart of their family's holidays. 

It was a great day :) Although, I'm exhausted!!! The boys are exhausted - no nap for Little Guy and a cat nap for Munchkin. No Black Friday shopping for me! Catching up on sleep sounds like a good idea...! 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

Our Adoption!

My Little Guy is now officially my Forever Son! Our adoption was last Saturday and took place on National Adoption Day.

The Courthouse 

We arrived at the court house early and there was a lot going on: bounce houses, face painting, storm troopers, characters walking around, Santa and Mrs. Clause. As we waited, our friends started to arrive. I had a few friends fly/drive from California to attend, which was just amazing and nice of them!

Admittedly, I was in a sort of "daze" most of the day. Just couldn't believe after all the waiting, we were finally here - that it was actually happening. 

Most of the friends that said they were going to attend, made it. We had a good group of people there to support us. A few friends watched Munchkin for me, while a few of my friend's kids chased Little Guy around. He was so hyperactive, mostly running on fumes, as the adoption was right in the middle of his normal nap time! 

He was funny running down the hall, screaming, rolling around on the floor, climbing all over the place. 

When we arrived at the courtroom, I had to check in with my lawyer and sign a few more papers. Our courtroom was running behind, so they told me we would most likely go in later. So, we waited! 

The Finalization Hearing

When we were called into the courtroom, Little Guy was pretty much "done" and did not want to sit down. He tried to run around the courtroom! I put him on my lap and gave him some of his toy cars to play with. Instead of playing with them, he started to throw them! Oh my. LOL. The good thing is, I was so distracted with keeping him seated and happy -- that I didn't have time to be emotional. I was sworn in and then I had to answer questions posed by my lawyer. All the answers were "yes" - which made it easy for me. LOL. 

Little Guy was hilarious during the hearing. He was laughing, giggling, playing. He tried escaping me, but I managed to keep hold of him. I thought he would throw a tantrum, but he didn't. Thank goodness. 

Then, the judge said stuff and made things official! That's when I let a few tears fall. It was official. The foster care part with Little Guy was over. We were a Forever Family now. 

I still can't believe it. 

After the ceremony, I had a special person that made sure I received the Order of Adoption paperwork. We took family photos and took a few pictures around the courthouse. Then, we headed to a pizza place to celebrate with our friends. 

Celebrating

The pizza place was packed! I didn't expect that and I didn't reserve any seats. Fortunately, one of the reserved tables wasn't needed until later and we were able to use it. By this time, I am mentally exhausted. I hadn't eaten all day and I was just tired. We ordered food, ate, and chatted. Luckily, my friends continued watching Munchkin and the kids chased Little Guy around. I felt so grateful to have all these people to spend time with and share the joy of our adoption.

Arriving Home 

By the time we left, I felt like I could sleep for an entire day! We got home and the boys were also exhausted, went to sleep almost right away. No nap days will do that to you! That's when I let myself cry. It all hit me and I cried like a baby. My son is now mine, legally. It's all official. 

We received some amazing gifts and great advice on the "wishes" cards we sent out with the invitations. We are so blessed to have wonderful people in our lives.

Not As "Planned"

Things don't always go as 'planned' and people let you down sometimes. Despite that, I wanted to focus on the POSITIVE thing for the day -- the ADOPTION! But there were a few things that really impacted the start of the day for me.

The day didn't start off the 'best', as my brother was supposed to come into town for the adoption. At the last minute, he wasn't able to make it. I was very upset and disappointed. He is the only blood relative I really have contact with. I do have to admit, it wasn't surprising he didn't make it... But it didn't make it any easier dealing with him not coming. 

I also was supposed to have a friend help me with the boys the morning of the adoption, so I could get ready. She flaked on me, which made the morning a little more hectic than I expected or planned for. Left me scrambling to get myself and the boys ready to go. Not a great way to start off the day for sure!

At the End of the Day 

All in all. I still can't believe it. Maybe it'll sink in eventually. But I'm still in awe and get teary eyed thinking, "he's my son!" and "I get to watch him grow up!" and "We can make plans for the future" and "No more fears about him being taken away from me." 

I'm so amazed at my son and the happy little person he is. The randomness of the foster care system placement procedures brought me my forever son. How did I get so lucky? 

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Quick Update + Acupuncture Session #2

IVF Update

Haven't written an IVF update in a few days. Not much to report. I stopped Birth Control pills after 23 days of being on it. Just a note - I got really bad headaches in the birth control. At first, I didn't make the connection - but after I stopped, the headaches stopped! 

I am continuing on with Lupron (10 iu). The injections were going extremely well. Then the last two days the needle kind of hurt going in. Not sure why... I'm not doing anything different. Psychological maybe? Who knows. I am starting to feel like a pin cushion though. Injections in your belly every day is not a fun task.

I did start my period, which is not my "normal" type of period. They told me I might start it and that it might not be like my normal period, so I wasn't surprised. But it's still annoying because it's lasting longer than my normal cycle and it's a different consistency... Sorry if that's TMI. 

Although things have seemed slow, it's about to get busy-busy with IVF updates, as I start stims on Sunday and monitoring appointments next week.

Acupuncture Session #2 

I don't know if I'll ever get used to acupuncture! It's such a different way of thinking. I really do need to read more into it, so that it can be more effective.  Only if I had more time! LOL. My acupuncturist looked at the color of my tongue when I go in and I guess that tells her stuff about my balance. This time needles were in the following places: calves, feet, by my knees, inside of my elbows, lower tummy, and forehead. None of them really hurt going in. 

The difference this go around is, I was actually able to relax! I even almost fell asleep a few times. Maybe next time, I'll be able to relax even more and fall asleep. I felt great afterwards. Wish I could've taken a nap though, I was tired for the drive home.  

Next Week in IVF-Land: 

• 11/29/15: Start Stims! Menopur, Gonal-F, and continue Lupron
• 12/1/15: Acupuncture Session #3
• 12/2/15: Blood Work 
• 12/3/15: Ultrasound and Blood Work, Acupuncture Session #4

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Gratitude: Week of 11/15/15

Last week, I was grateful for: 

1. Calling Little Guy "my son" and not "foster son" 
2. Vacation time! 
3. When Munchkin sleeps through the night. 
4. Watching the boys play and laugh with each other. 
5. Leaning new things from friends - like baking pumpkin pies from scratch. 
6. Little Guy kissing his stuffed dog and cuddling it. 
7. Munchkin waking up in the morning without crying. 
8. Tears of joy and happiness. 
9. Little Guy going over to Munchkin's crib and saying, "Hi" first thing in the morning and petting his head. 
10. Adoption Day! Starting our Forever Family. 
11. Spending adoption day with amazing and supportive friends. 
12. Hearing the boys "talk" to each other in the morning. 
13. Starting my son's journal :) 

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Acupuncture, Session #1

At my IVF Consult, my RE provided a referral to two acupuncturist. I was on the fence about really going for it... fear of needles and all. Also, the additional $ that goes along with it. I've already spent so darn much on this process... I didn't feel comfortable dishing out more money on a concept that might not really "up the odds". There are so many contrary opinions out there: it works, it doesn't work, can't hurt. Well, I figure -- It can't hurt.

I heard acupuncture really relaxes you. I'm so tense lately, I can definitely use some relaxation.

I called one of the acupuncturists my RE referred. She was really nice and had some good information on her website. It says that you really should start acupuncture 3 months prior to IVF. Well, obviously I'm behind the ball on that one! I didn't think I'd get here and didn't foresee having to take these extra steps towards having Baby C. But here I am: IVF-land and now acupuncture-land.

Here's the plan:

1. Initial Consult / 1st Session: go over medical information, provide any test results from RE and PCP. $150 
2. Ongoing Sessions: have 1-2 regular sessions a week prior to egg transfer. $85 per session 
3. Day of Transfer: have treatment before Egg Transfer and treatment after. $325 

Session #1 

This was my first acupuncture session, ever. So, I wasn't really sure what to expect. I provided my blood work and lab results, we discussed my medical history, we discussed IVF and infertility. Then after the paperwork and initial discussion was complete, I had my first real acupuncture session.

Let me say, it was a little surreal. I have a big fear of needles. Knowing this, I kept my eyes shut while she started sticking me. Some spots it hurt. Others, I didn't feel it. Places that hurt: my right wrist, my right foot, and my forehead. After awhile, it didn't hurt. The right wrist was uncomfortable if I moved it wrong.

After she stuck me with the needles, she put a heating lamp over my stomach. I guess to help "warm up my uterus." Then, I laid there for 20-25 minutes. I couldn't really relax. I did open my eyes to check out the needles. They look scarier than they felt.

Afterwards, we discussed my next steps in regards to: IVF prep, supplements, diet, exercise, and meditations. She's recommending 1-2x per week prior to IVF, day of transfer (before/after), and 3-5 days post transfer to help with implantation.

It's all very interesting and now that I'm doing acupuncture, I need to really research it a little more. She recommended I read two books: 1) The Infertility Cure and 2) Feed your Fertility. I need to check if these are available at the library.

All in all: an interesting experience! I've never really looked at fertility/infertility in this type of way before. I guess I haven't really had time to think about it as things get so busy when you're cycling for fertility treatments. I've been more focused on the medications, the injections, and not missing a step. I haven't really thought about all these other things, like Chinese Medicine.

I can't say I "enjoyed" it. But I feel good that I'm doing it! Here's to hoping it turns out well.

Next Week in IVF Land:

• 11/24: Acupuncture Session #2  
• Lupron: Continue 10 iu until 11/29
• 11/29: Start Stims - Day #1 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Starting Lupron Injections

Today was my first day of Lupron (10 iu). At the Injections Class yesterday, we went over the injection. But for some reason, I just couldn't *remember* if I needed to insert air into the vial! So, I watched some YouTube instructional videos before my injection.

The actual injection went relatively quickly. Probably because I've been giving myself injections for months now. Mixing was quick and the actual injection was quick. Hopefully the rest of the injections (especially when I start stims on 11/29) will go as smoothly.

The rest of the week: 

• 11/20/15 @ 11am: First Acupuncture session. 
• 11/21/15 @ 1pm: Our ADOPTION!!! 
• Lupron: Continue 10 iu until 11/29. 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Injection Training + IVF Payment

Yesterday, I received all of my medications. I'm glad I didn't receive them sooner because it was a bit overwhelming seeing all of it. Luckily, my injection training class was today and it made it seem a little more "doable".

Here are the instructions that I received for today's appointment:

1) Appointment for Injection Training, Signing of consent forms, and payment in full.
2) May also have an ultrasound today if indicated.
3) Bring ALL medications and consents (IVF packet) to this appointment.
4) Prior to this appointment, you must view injection training video on website.
**Possible Urine and Blood Sample Today

I ended up not needing the ultrasound, urine, or blood sample.

Injections Training

For injections training, the nurse went over every single medication that I was taking. Showed me how to inject each one of them and explained what they were for. I had read through all of the consent forms and also watched the video on their website, so nothing was "new" or unexpected. She also verified that I received everything. I am missing a few items that were on the prescription request, so I need to call the pharmacy back and get those to arrive. Luckily, that's for medication I won't be taking until mid-December.

Then, the nurse started going over additional "packet" information: pre- and post- egg retrieval and egg transfer. We even went over what happens when I get pregnant. Which was a bit crazy, because I know IVF isn't a for-sure thing... but I sure feel very optimistic that it'll lead to pregnancy. It was nice hearing the positivity from the nurse as well!

Fingers crossed!!

IVF Payment

IVF Payment was due in full today. Luckily the price went down significantly since I was so close to meeting my out-of-pocket fees. Not too bad, considering. Here's what it came down to:

Line Item	Estimated Price	Actual Price	NOTE
Estimated Co-Payments or Co-Insurance	$1,600.00	$329.00	Will go down when I meet Out of Pocket Maximum.
Estimated Deductible	$0.00	$0.00	Already Met
Professional Fees	$0.00	$0.00	Billed to Insurance
Laboratory Fees	$0.00	$0.00	Billed to Insurance
Anesthesia Fees	$0.00	$0.00	Billed to Insurance
ICSI	$1,525.00	$1,525.00	Not covered by insurance.
Embryo Cryopreservation	$500.00	$0.00	Insurnace covers first year.
HCG Pregnancy Test	$35.00	$35.00	Collected at time of service.
Total Amount Due to RE Office	$3,660.00	$1,889.00
Credit Card Charge		$111.24	Charge for using CC vs Cash
Medication - 1st Round	$4,000.00	$245.00	Approximately, pending costs
Medication - 2nd Round			TBD - need to order PIO
Donor Sperm	$530.00	$530.00	Donor#4
Acupunture	$730.00	$730.00	$150 initial, $85 after, $325 day of transfer. Will Change, depending on how many treatements I receive.
Total Out of Pocket Costs	$8,920.00	$3,505.24

I'm feeling very optimistic about this process right now! I keep thinking that there's a possibility I'll have actual embryos in just a few weeks. Originally, this process felt like it was dragging. Now, it almost feels rushed - like I'm jumping right in.

What was also nice to note is, my RE's office is open on the weekends for IVF. I didn't know this previously, because they are not open on the weekend for IUI's. Which I thought was very interesting...! But this is GREAT news because I was worried with the "what if" things fall on the weekend thing.

Moving forward and moving along this IVF-world. Hoping and praying my Baby C is at the end of all this.

The rest of the week: 

• 11/19/15: first Lupron injection! 
• 11/20/15 @ 11am: First Acupuncture session. 
• 11/21/15 @ 1pm: Our ADOPTION!!! 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.