PhotoBooking: Family Year Book + Adoption Book

As part of my August 2016 Goals, I wanted to start working on my 2016 Family Year Book and work on completing my son's adoption book. I'm happy to say that I've actually made progress on this! 

Using My Mac Photos

I haven't really been organizing my photos on my Mac. I started working on this a little bit and getting Photos in a good order.

2016 Family Year Book 

I'm tasked with actual completing a Family Year Book! I've always wanted to make one and am so very excited that I have the opportunity to make one this year... a year where we have been a Forever Family :) Creating a photo book, yet alone a whole years worth of memories, is no easy task. I'm already years and years behind on moving these digital memories into a cohesive photo book. Small steps... and small tasks... will get me there (hopefully). For August, my task was to pick 10 photos ONLY for two months: July and August 2016. Luckily July and August weren't difficult to pick pictures from! So far, so good!

I'm back and forth on whether I should actually drop the photos in a photo book NOW... and keep adding as I go. Or do it all in one sitting (which might take a very long time!). But I guess I'm still contemplating what a full 2016 formatted Family Year Book should look like. It's all in the details, right? :) That'll have to be pushed to a different month as a goal, as it's a lot to try to accomplish this month.

Adoption Book - Story Boarding

It's taking me so long to finish my son's adoption book. There are so many ways to organize it and I couldn't really make a firm decision on it. Once I decided one way, I leaned a different way. Part of the reason I'm so indecisive is that I want to make an Adoption Book about our family and how we became a family vs. a lifebook. A lifebook is a book that goes into more things than just the adoption. I love making lifebooks for my foster kids and my son has 2 completed books. But I've been conflicted on how to approach our adoption book.

Plus, I want it to be just the most perfectest adoption book ever! I just had to really let go of all that and think about how I want to tell my son his story. I finally sat down with myself to really think about OUR family and OUR story. What I really want to accomplish by making an Adoption Book:

• I want it to be the story I tell my son. 
• I want my son to feel special about his adoption book. 
• Hopefully it'll be a story he wants to read over and over again because he loves the way it makes him feel. 
• Each adoption day (and hopefully days in-between) I want to be able to sit and read this book with my son. 
• I want him to feel loved from the book. 
• I want him to feel good about adoption from the book. 
• I want him to get a little about his "story" from the book - in an age-appropriate way. 
• I want him to know that I love him. 
• I want him to know he's loved by his birth parents. 

Lots of HIGH expectations from a little bitty book! No pressure or anything! :) 

When I think of our adoption story... I think about how our lives intersected in the most unexpected and random way. Like it was meant to be! I also think of my son's story as beginning in his birth mother's tummy. This is VERY important... because I think that's where part of the story really "begins," right? 

So, we have ME (aka Mama) who became a foster parent. 

Then we have Little Guy growing in his birth mother's tummy. 

With that said, that's where OUR story will begin!

I'm so excited about completing the adoption book, that I had to slow myself down. I made an outline and I've dropped it into a photo book on Shutterfly. I'm still playing with parts of the story, so I'll post the "completed" storyline once I go to print in Oct/Nov.

I have to say... I can't wait until it's done and I get to sit down with my son and share it with him. I think it's going to turn out really well. 

Potty Training 2.0

For the most part, my son has been very easy.

Transitioning to a crib from the bassinet = Easy
Transitioning from a bottle to a cup = Easy
Transitioning from formula to milk = Easy
Transitioning from crib to toddler bed = Easy

He's taken transitions and changes like a champ.

Then came potty training entered our lives.....!!!!!

My easy, adaptable, child = GONE. Potty training has been like a war zone. There have been casualties. We've lost some beloved pants and underwear through this process.

I first introduced potty training in March/April. At first, I thought, "Oh, he has this! This is going to be Easy!" NOPE! Wrong.

At first, things were going lovely. He was totally getting it. He had hardly no accidents. Then BAM. it started to become a battle. I didn't want potty training to be a war between us. So, I started to back-off a bit on the potty training. It didn't help that daycare didn't want to help with the potty training at the time. So, I think it was confusing when he would be there in a diaper and at home in underwear. I totally get that, which is why I started to back-off.

Anyways. Fast forward to today. Daycare finally says, "Let's do this potty training thing!" I get super excited because now he'll get the messaging at home and at daycare. Woohoo! That's great... right?

Well, we just started this week and daycare is starting to think he's not ready....

NOOOOOOOOOO!

See, my son KNOWS when he's going. He will look at me and just go in his underwear. He doesn't care if he's wet. I know he has the bladder control, I know he knows when he's going.

But - HE JUST DOESN'T CARE. He's OK peeing in his pants. He's OK if he stays in his wet pants. Totally gross, right? But to my toddler son, he doesn't care as long as he gets to keep playing.

So, we're giving it a trial try this week with daycare and home focused on potty training. They have "potty buddies" at daycare. If the week doesn't go well or if we don't see any progress (just need a little forward progress from him), then daycare might pull the plug on potty training until he's closer to 3.

<sigh>

I really hope this week is a turning point for him...! I really do. I don't want to rush him, but it'd be nice not to buy diapers anymore! It would also be nice to get past this difficult part in the potty training process. This, by far, has been my least favorite part of parenting! Pee on the couch, pee on the floor, pee in the underwear, pee on the chair.... pee everywhere but in the toilet. <sigh>

Let's see what happens this week.

Toddler Sized Independence

I've been working on trying to give my son some "independence." Meaning, letting him do things on his own without me pestering him :)

To help with this, I made some changes to make things more accessible to my son:

1) Used a command hook so my son can hang his towel himself in the bathroom. Even added a little letter for him. Saw this on Pinterest. Now he can hang up his own towel. He loves hanging his own towel and really likes that his letter is there.

It looks crooked! But it's not, it's just the angle of my camera. :)

2) Saw this trick I saw on Pinterest to put kid's toothbrush lower and under the sink. She used Velcro and attached to the cabinet door.

http://livingwellmom.com/2013/10/organizing-toothbrushes-toothpaste-out-of-sight/

I was going to do the exact same thing, but when I was at the store, I decided to just use an over-the-door basket instead. I only have one child for now, so this will do. If I have more and this doesn't work anymore, I will probably do the Velcro trick. Before my son's toothbrush was in the medicine cabinet and he can't reach there. (I have the "clear surface" thing going on and nothing is on the bathroom counter.)

Here's what it looks like. There's a cup for his toothbrush, one for flossers, and one for toothpaste.

We probably don't really need the toothpaste cup and can just place it in the basket. Will see how that works out. I haven't added labels & not sure if I will (that may be done when/if I have more kids). Now, all is within my son's reach and it's still hidden and off the counter. Yay and yay! Now my son can get his own toothbrush, add toothpaste by himself, and brush his teeth. He's really enjoying this and giggles every time he gets to brush his teeth. 

3) I started this awhile ago, but in the pantry - I cleared out the lowest shelf for my son to put his plates/cups/silverware on. He sets his own place settings, puts away his own dishes in the dishwasher, and also puts away his dishes when they're clean from the dishwasher. This is his little spot. Sometimes he organizes it really nicely, other times - not so much! But I try my best not to "fix it" and let him run with it. Every meal he's super excited to grab a plate, silverware, and a cup. 

Breaking the Budget?

None of this was in my budget, so I was worried I wouldn't be able to get any of this done this month. I looked at my budget and didn't want to allocate more funds mid-month, as that goes against the whole "instant gratification" thing I'm trying to avoid. Instead of waiting a month to finish these small projects, I decided to just re-allocate funds to my "household goods" funding category. There were a few spending categories that I allocated funds to, but can live without this month. 

Other things we are working on: 

1) He's learning to put his clothes on and learning to take them off. This has been an interesting process. He can totally do it by himself! But he will whine and complain so I'll help him out. I'm trying to find a happy medium with him because I know he can physically do it, it just might take him a little longer.

2) He's learning to put his own shoes on. He's got this pretty much down, but he's still practicing. Sometimes he'll get left/right mixed up, but that's to be expected.

3) Started a "tomorrow drawer" where all things needed for tomorrow are placed. He's working on picking out clothes (top, bottom, socks) and putting them in the tomorrow drawer. Then, in the morning he gets the clothes from the drawer and works on getting dressed. This has led to some mismatched outfits! But he's loving making the choices and using his "morrow" drawer.

I'm still looking at other ways to give him more independence and have him start doing things on his own. So far, these small things are helping with that. Plus, I love how excited he gets when he can do it himself and how much pride he takes in it. Hopefully good habits will come with this and it'll be easier as he gets older (a parent can hope!). 

Post-Adoption: Communication with Birth Parents

I've been thinking a lot about Little Guy's adoption and communicating with his birth family. I haven't written much about it on my blog, although it's been on my mind a lot.

Since my son was adopted from fostercare, his birth parents didn't voluntarily put him up for adoption. We went from court hearing to court hearing for 18 months until the very last one to terminate parental rights (TPR). It was at this hearing where his birth parents stopped fighting and expressed interest in me adopting him. For more on the specifics of our adoption, see my Adoption Timeline.

At the time of the TPR trial, there was also discussion about communication post-adoption. We do not have an official post adoption agreement. But verbally, I agreed to some sort of communication, but was not specific. I set up an email address and a PO Box for them to communicate with me. 

My son's birth mother has consistently written... Almost at an obsessive level. We receive multiple letters a month from her. Sometimes what she says in the letters makes me question if she really "gets things." She would panick if I didn't write her back right away and think I was "mad" at her. 

I quickly set up some limits with her. I agreed to write 2x's a year and send pictures. She can write as much as she wants (and she does). She expressed some dismay at "two times a year" isn't enough and some side comments about it in her letters to my son. Almost trying to guilt trip me (it hasn't worked and I don't respond to her on those comments). I keep my letters 100% about my son and what he's up to. 

She has tried to get me to meet up with her sister and her kids (my son's birth aunt and cousins). She's also tried to have me agree to phone calls. I've said no to both... Which surprised me. I thought I would be more open to building relationships with my son's birth extended family. But I guess I'm leary of their sincerity. This is the aunt that tried to get custody of my son and who only visited him 2x's the entire time they had fostercare visitations (where they could've visited 2x's a week). Plus, his cousins are way older than him - no real relationship building there. I had to think, "would the contact benefit my son?" My answer was no at the time. I think it would've only benefited them and I had a gut feeling that the request wasn't really to see my son, but to keep an eye out on me. 

As for phone calls, my son doesn't even know how to talk on the phone yet! 

Eventually I know she's going to ask for in-person visits. Right now, I'm leaning towards no. There are some safety concerns that I don't want to post here... Which is another reason why I'm against contact with the aunt. I don't want to get into specifics on all of that and may be a little vague. I know it's my son's birth mother... but my son was in foster care for a reason and the State terminated rights on his birth parents for a reason. There are a lot of aspects to consider in this and it's not black/white. My son's safety is my #1 priority and that trumps anything and everything. 

My son doesn't know his birth mother, hasn't seen her since he was 5 months old. I don't feel like I should make that choice for me son at this juncture. When he's old enough, I'll let him make a decision on whether or not he wants to meet his birth family. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. I'll support him either way. 

Now, there's his birth father. He made visitations pretty consistently right up till the TPR trial. Then he missed he goodbye visit and I haven't heard from him since. Which is so odd! He was very adamant about having a communication plan. Since my son knew him, I probably would've even allowed in-person visits with him. But not one email and not one letter. 

It didn't bother me at first. But recently I started to question if I should initiate contact. I want to have contact with his birth parents so that when my son is ready (and he chooses), it'll be a smooth process on getting him in-touch with them. Not only that, I want to have contact if any medical issues come up. I also want to do all I can do to keep my son's birth parents informed of his life and development. Partly because I would want to know if my child was adopted. 

I've been playing with the idea of emailing the birth father... I didn't want to initiate contact because I had to think there was a reason he wasn't communicating? Plus, maybe he's involved in unsafe behaviors again? 

Well, I bit the bullet! I emailed him today. I asked if he wanted to set up a communication plan and receive pictures. I also asked him if he had any pictures of my son and him together. I know he does (he showed me on his phone), but he never gave me a copy. I would love for my son to have pictures of him with his birth father. He might also have pictures with my son and relatives that attended visitations. Right now I only have 1 photo of my son with his birth parents. I would love for him to have more... 

Anyways, now I wait to see if I'll hear back from his birth father! 

Adoption can be tricky and there are so many things that I have yet to be faced with. I'm not sure how my son is going to react to all this as he gets older or how sensitive he'll be to his foster care/adoption story. Only time will tell.

Right now, I'm working on his Adoption book... which I've been working on FOREVER. With our one-year anniversary of our adoption coming up (our "Family Day"), I'm forcing myself to really make the effort in finishing it. Which it's why it's part of my August goals this month and one reason I'm thinking so much about post-adoption communication with his birth parents.

I am making a point to talk to my son about being adopted. I show him pictures of his birth parents and tell him "his story" in age appropriate terms (which will be easier once I can get a few of his adoption books done). They are part of him. I'm also looking at other ways to "honor" his birth parents on an on-going basis. As he gets older, I am hoping that our discussions and stories will help him through understanding his past. I'll write more on that later. 

Mother's Day 2016: First as a Forever Family

Today was my first "official" Mother's Day, the first after the adoption of Little Guy. I wish I could say that I felt different or it was an extra special day or something. But it wasn't! It was just a normal day for us.

Last night, my foster agency had a "foster parent appreciation night." I received a recognition award, which was nice of them. With the event being so late, we didn't get home until late and the boys went to sleep later than normal.

This morning, Little Guy was a little grump - not wanting to wake up! He's normally very happy, but he likes his 10-12 hours of sleep and he didn't get that. But he's so funny because he quickly snapped out of it and was in his happy-go-lucky mood before I knew it. I would have let him sleep in, but we had to leave for church.

We went to Mass with Little Guy's Ninong and her family, bright and early at 8am! Then we went to brunch with his Ninong and her daughters. It was a cute little breakfast place and the food was yummy. I love seeing Little Guy with his Ninong and her daughters. They love on him and he enjoys spending time with them. It makes my heart feel so wonderful seeing how many people love my son. By the time we got home, it was time for nap time. The boys were extra tired and went down for nap relatively quickly. They both slept for 3.5 hours!! Which meant I got to take a nap for 3.5 hours! Woohoo! LOL. Really... if I can't sleep in past 6am on Mother's Day, a 3.5 hour nap is the next best thing that I could ever ask for :)

The rest of the day was uneventful, did our normal stuff - play outside, dinner, bath time.

Today I decided to do their foot prints right before bath. I want to make Mother's Day cards for their birth mothers. Silly me, used archival ink ---!!! It's all I had. Eeek! With a toddler and an almost-toddler, the ink got everywhere in the bathroom. Little footprints all over the bathtub...!

How do you get archival ink out?

I tried alcohol pads. Those worked, but they were so small -- couldn't clean up the entire mess.
I tried nail polish remover = did not work.
I tried rubbing alcohol = did not work.
I tried dish soap = did not work.
I tried hair spray = did not work.

At this point I was convinced I would have little black ink footprints all over my bath tub forever. The clean freak in me was quietly freaking out.

Then I Googled some more and finally came across Toothpaste. Thought, what the heck - let me give it a try. Can you believe that the toothpaste worked???!!! I used an entire tube on the bathtub. It picked up most of it. There's still some ink marks that just wouldn't lift. I'll need to apply more toothpaste later and scrub some more.

I wish I would've figured out the toothpaste thing sooner, as the boys both have ink-marked feet!! LOL. Oh my. I guess I'll try putting toothpaste on their feet tomorrow and see if it comes off.

Well, good intentions and all - next time I'll be better about it and not use archival ink!

Not to mention, Little Guy went poopoo on the potty! This was officially his THIRD time. Yay!

Anways, that was my uneventful Mother's Day.

Truth be told, I'm grateful every day for my son and for Munchkin. Not to mention my other foster babies that have come and left throughout the years. Being a single mom, I don't get "breaks" unless I pay for a babysitter! It's not always "easy" and there are challenges, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm so used to it and it's all I know, I'm not sure if I even think about the "no break single mom" thing anymore.

I love being a mom. I love being a foster mom. Not just on Mother's Day, but every single day. So, I don't get to sleep in past 6am ---ever. LOL. I don't get to be pampered or get breakfast in bed. Whatever. Those things don't matter to me. I look at my boys and I feel grateful. I think of all of my foster children and I feel grateful. Not to mention that I get to look into my son's eyes every single day and feel like the luckiest mama ever.

Highlights of the day: Brunch, 3.5 hour nap, spending time with my boys, Little Guy going poopoo on the potty, and the power of toothpaste! Can life get any better ;)

Happy Mother's Day to all the lucky Mama's out there!

HMF Disease + Potty Training

There was an outbreak at daycare of Hand/Mouth/Foot (HMF) Disease! Munchkin ended up getting it, so I've had to keep him home since it's highly contagious. I wasn't sure if Little Guy would get it too, so I was asked to keep him home too just to make sure (during the incubation stage). 

I guess in a way it's a good thing I was laid off, since I've had the kids home full time due to this. That wouldn't fly if I was working. 

Little Guy didn't get HMF, thank goodness. Munchkin took about 8 days to fully recovery from HMF. Luckily he never had a fever with it. I hope to NEVER deal with this one again, it's horrible how long it takes to get past it. 

Since we were stuck at home, I decided to try and potty train Little Guy! A little earlier than I had planned, but just by a week. Might as well be productive, right? Here's how it's gone. 

Day 1: 

• Originally tried to go commando-style. It really bothered Little Guy and he kept asking for his diaper! We went commando because he peed and I didn't notice it and neither did he. With much protest, decided to try the underwear on. 
• He needed to go poopoo and asked to go to the potty. Once on the toilet, he couldn't go. He waited for nap time and went poop in his diaper. 
• The first time he went peepee in his underwear, he seemed surprised - just looked down at his leg. I ran him quickly to the bathroom to sit on the potty. 
• Overall: 4 accidents -- 3 he noticed, 1 he didn't 

Day 1 wasn't too bad! Little Guy was annoyed with not having a diaper and acted out a bit, but wasn't too bad. He didn't manage to go potty on the toilet yet, hoping he is "getting it" though. Ended up putting him on the potty every 30 minutes or so. 

Day 2: 

• Moved the "fun potty" to the most used bathroom. It makes fun little noises. 
• In the morning, he didn't want to put on the underwear! He tried to throw it away in the trash!  
• I placed him on the potty after breakfast and he went peepee! He didn't even seem to notice. I made a big deal about it, let him flush the toilet, waved bye-bye to the peepee, and he got an M&M. He is highly chocolate-motivated. 
• He asked to sit on the potty 2x's. He didn't end up going, but he asked!! Then had an accident right after he got off the potty. 
• Accidents: 7
• Peepee on Potty: 4x's 

Day 2 was a lot better! At this point I wasn't sure if Little Guy had the bladder control to master potty training. Had to wait and see how he progressed. 

Day 3: 

• He didn't fight the underwear this morning! 
• Had 2 accidents back-to-back, but the second one he ran to the bathroom and finished on the toilet. 
• I've noticed he's having "half accidents" where he slightly soils his underwear and then will finish on the potty. 
• Accidents: 4
• Peepee on Potty: 6
• Poopoo on Potty: 1! This was almost an accident. I had just put him to bed with a diaper. I heard him grunting (his poopoo sound). I asked him if he was going poopoo and he said, "Yeah." So I rushed him to the potty and he finished on the potty. But he did it! 

My son really impressed me this day and this is the first time that I truly believed he had bladder control. He didn't have as many accidents. The funny thing is, he giggles every time he pees on the potty! When he goes, he's been practicing releasing the pee, stopping it, then releasing more. The whole time giggling. 

Day 4:

• Peed on Potty first thing in the morning 
• Fought going to the potty a few times, but went pee once he was on the toilet. 
• Accidents: 1
• Peepee on Potty: 6
• Poopoo on Potty: 0. He did go poopoo in his diaper during nap time. We did the whole "ritual" of flushing the poop down the toilet and I told him, "poo poo goes in the toilet."

I couldn't believe that he only had ONE accident the entire day! So very surprised. He stopped having those "half accidents" and could hold his urine in longer. 

Day 5: 

• This was really only a half-day of training, as he went back to daycare for most of the day and used a diaper there. 
• Accidents: 0
• Peepee on Potty: 5 at home + 1 at daycare 
• Poopoo on Potty: 0

He's really starting to get the hang of taking his pants/underwear on/off by himself. Been practicing with him. He even initiated going potty once by himself!  He's also really good at holding his urine and then releasing in the potty. 

Overall, I think he's on his way to being potty trained! I'm a little surprised it's gone relatively well so far. We'll continue on and see how the rest of it goes. Once he masters potty training at home, we'll venture out without a diaper and see how it goes. I've been worried about this part because I don't want him to pee in the carseat (I just washed the paddings). But I'm going to have to risk it, once he starts initiating more at home. I want him to be successful and don't want him to fail.

I also got him some Paw Patrol and Thomas the Train underwear, which he LOVES. Hoping they add a little excitement to the potty training adventure. 

Getting Ready for my Son's Baptism

Every since my son was adopted, I've been wanting to have him baptized in the Catholic Church. The issue was: I did not belong to a local parish. I attended church regularly a few years ago and went to a church I absolutely LOVED, but it was 30 minutes away. It became difficult to attend. I didn't necessarily like the local parish that's close to my house. So, I've been a "bad" Catholic and haven't been attending church regularly. Not to mention, it's extremely difficult going to church solo with a toddler and a crawling baby...

Since the adoption, I decided that I need to find a closer - more do-able in attending regularly - church. I attended a few and finally decided on one that was relatively close (15 minutes away). It's where I attended Financial Peace University. To make things official, I finally registered to be a parishioner in December.

Registering for Baptism 

Once I was registered, I could register for the Baptism. The Diocese here has different rules from where I grew up. They only allow for 2 God Parents (minimum of 1), the God Parents must meet all these requirements (all sacraments, registered parishioner, and married in the Catholic church). My home-town Diocese isn't that strict and there's more flexibility in choosing God Parents. For example, I did not have all my sacraments when I became a God Parent.

Once I registered online, they scheduled an in-person meeting with me to discuss all the requirements. They needed my son's birth certificate and wanted to discuss the reason for baptism and the important of choosing God Parents.

They also asked me why there was no father listed on the birth certificate. I had to explain that my son is adopted and that I'm single, so there is no legal father. It was a little strange having to explain that to the church, just to get him baptized... but it is what it is. 

Finding God Parents 

With the strict requirements of who they allowed to be God Parents, I really had to search out people that had every single requirement. Some of my friends had most of their sacraments, but were missing one thing on the list of "must haves." So, my list of potential God parents started to dwindle into "I will never be able to baptize my son, I can't find any God Parents!"

I mentioned to one of his daycare providers, that is Catholic, how difficult a time I was having finding God Parents. Then she said that she meets all the requirements and would love to be my son's God Mother! I was so excited! So, I found ONE God Parent. She is also the back-up Guardian for my son, when I completed my Estate Planning.

Although I needed only 1 God Parent, I really wanted my son to have a God Mother and a God Father. I asked one of my close college friends and he said YES and he meets all the requirements. So Yay!

Each God Parent had to complete a form and have their church sign/put their seal on it. We received both and were able to schedule my son's Baptism day. 

Meeting with the Church

I have to just say that I felt a little uncomfortable when I met with the church volunteer that arranges the baptisms. She was nice enough, but I felt there was some judgment from being a single mother. Nothing directly that she said, but it was just a vibe that I got from her. I had both boys with me when I went to the meeting and both boys were on their best-worst behavior. So, I also felt there was some judgment on my parenting with my kid's being a little out of control.

Normally when I tell someone I've adopted as a single woman AND that I'm a single foster mom, I get a different reaction. I guess I am used to people appreciating the fact that I'm a foster parent and that I've adopted. Not so much in this case. What was interesting is the coordinator mentioned that she had fertility issues and had a hard time having kids (she has one child). Not really sure why she mentioned that from me saying I adopted. I did not mention that I was trying to conceive a baby through IVF... because I know that would be frowned upon. Anyways, it was a bit of a strange conversation. 

Baptism Class

Another requirement of baptizing my son was that I had to attend a Baptism Class. I've had to do this before when I was a God Parent. I went to the class expecting to hear about how the day of the baptism was going to go, responsibilities, etc. Instead, it was two hours of going through the bible on why we need to baptize and getting the entire history of baptism as referenced in the bible.

It's not that I don't appreciate the class... But the class was supposed to be 2 hours long. Two hours where I had to pay a babysitter to watch my kids. When the coordinator realized that we were at the 2-hour mark, he said "oops" and then spent about 5 minutes quickly going through what was happening on the day of the baptism... Meaning, I didn't get ANYTHING out of what I need the day of or what happens on the day of - which was supposed to be taught in this class. Afterward, I had to email them and ask them all these questions. Which, seemed to irritate them and they just emailed me the "reminder" of baptism day with more details (which was still missing stuff, so I sent a few follow-up questions).

It hasn't been a big ordeal trying to get my son baptized, it just felt like a lot of unnecessary stuff. It doesn't matter though because my son's baptism is just a few days away! I can't express how wonderful and excited I am to have my son baptized. I couldn't baptize him until he was my forever son. Being single and having very little family, I really want my son to have a relationship with God. I don't know what trials he'll face as he grows up or how he'll handle being adopted. I want to start him on the path to know Jesus, so he'll be more equipped to handle life's twists and turns.

I'll write another post about the day-of the baptism :) So excited! 

New Birth Certificate and SSN

I recently picked up my son's new birth certificate! It was a surreal experience seeing my name listed under "mother" and seeing my son's new name. 

When picking it up, I asked if they needed to see the adoption order. She said, "No, you're the mother. Just need to see your ID." 

Going to the Social Security Office was an adventure... Took 2 hours! I've never been to the SS office before so had no reference on how it all worked. Worse than the DMV! Seriously. But... At the end of the day, we were able to get a new SSN for my son, just waiting for the card to arrive in the mail. 

It still feels so surreal to me. He's MY son! I'm still trying to wrap my head around the "future" - that there is a future with him. 

One day it'll just feel "real" and "normal" to me, I'm sure. It's hard going from worrying every single day that he'll be taken from me, to thinking he's here "forever".  Now, the fears of raising him right are kicking in! Because however he turns out will be on ME! And only me. Oh my... Such a shift in thinking and such a huge responsibility. 

Thinking about my parenting style, what kind of mom I want to be. Am I doing it right? Am I messing him up? Am I spending enough time with him? Am I helicopter parenting? Am I disciplining right? 

All "Normal" parenting worries I'm sure... And I'm so grateful that I have normal parenting things to worry about with him instead of foster parent worries! 

I am so lucky to be his mama :) 

2nd Birthday!

This month we celebrated Little Guy's 2nd Birthday! Can't believe my baby is already 2 years old. Time is going by too quickly. 

Birthday - Day

What's interesting about the whole Adoption thing is now, we can create our own Family traditions! For Little Guy's 1st Birthday, we were in Florida on vacation - so we did stuff like go to Disney World, Chuck-E-Cheese, Kennedy Space Center, the beach, etc. 

This year, there wasn't so much go-go-go. Which was REALLY nice! I think I like the laid-back aspect of really just enjoying his birthday. The week before his birthday I would tell him, "You're going to be 2 years old in X days!" Being the toddler that he is, he would say, "NO!" when I told him that. LOL. 

On his birthday, once Little Guy woke up, I went into his room singing Happy Birthday to him with a chocolate chip cookie slice. 

He then opened his birthday presents that were from me and from some foster care organizations that provide birthday presents to foster kids. I gave him a scooter for his birthday. He's still learning how to use it! 

Then for breakfast, I cooked home-made pancakes and sang Happy Birthday to him again :) 

Then, we made his cake together. He helped crack the eggs, mix the ingredients into the bowl, and mix the batter. He really liked the hand mixer! For dinner, I sang him Happy Birthday again :) 

The Party

Birthday Theme: Thomas the Train 

Birthday Party Location: Local Gym, where the kids can run around on the equipment.

Little Guy's party was the day after his actually birthday. For Little Guy's party, I purchased these cute invites on Etsy. Then, printed them from home on card stock. I'm really loving the Etsy thing these past few months! 

Some pictures from the venue: 

Purchased this cake for the party: 

We had a lot of friends make it out for his birthday party, which was amazing :) All the kids had fun playing at the gym. I'm just reminded how blessed we are to have such wonderful people in our lives. We are so lucky. He received some really fun toys, books, and cool clothes. I am always amazed at how generous our friends are. Really, their presence at his party was gift enough for us.

Here are our Thank You cards that we sent to everyone (bought at Party City). I'm happy I was able to get them out within 2 weeks from the party! I normally take a little bit longer to mail Thank You's out... if they get mailed at all! I included a group picture of the kids at the party and also a picture of Little Guy opening the gift they provided. 

Overall, Little Guy's 2nd Birthday was a lot of fun. We started some new family traditions and got to celebrate with our friends.

I still get tears in my eyes when I think about him being my Forever Son. There are going to be so many more birthdays to share together. I'm so grateful. Sometimes I wish I could press the PAUSE button and enjoy him while he's still little. But at the same time, I'm so amazed at the wonderful little person he's becoming. My Little Guy, I love him to pieces. How did I get so lucky to be his Mama?

I'm already planning Birthday #3! I'm thinking the Zoo would be a fun venue for him and his friends. 

Halloween 2015 with the Caped Crusaders

This is a little late! Meant to post last month, but things got really busy and I never finished writing it. Better late than never, here's how our Halloween went :)

The boys were Batman and Robin for Halloween this year. I wanted to do something that was in theme with each other and this is the best I could think of. I'm thinking next year, I'll dress up as well... maybe!

Agency Halloween Event 

My Foster Care agency has an annual Halloween event. I really like it because it's small and just enough for little ones. They have a bounce house, gave us free pumpkins, gave cupcakes and cakes away, activities for the kids, face painting, family photos, and even a small Trunk or Treat for the kids.

Little Guy was scared in the bounce house! Not big enough for it I suppose. He won free cupcakes and got a lot of new car toys. He did cheat a little and was just grabbing them out of the basket instead of playing the game... LOL.

When we were doing the Trunk or Treat, there was one car that had a rat that jumped out at you. Little Guy was just going along, getting candy, when the rat jumped out at him and he starts screaming!!! It scared him so bad, poor guy. I'm standing there feeding munchkin a bottle and I can't pick him up. Not to mention I was laughing a bit... It was classic. Wish I have gotten it on video! Luckily there was a fellow single-foster mom there that took him and helped him get through the rest of the trunks. He was very cautious after that and kept an eye on the rat, kept looking over his shoulder at it. Got to love Halloween.

Carving a Pumpkin

This is the first year that we carved a pumpkin. Last year, he was just way too small. This year, I thought it might be fun for him to play with the pumpkin guts. He was actually so grossed out by the pumpkin guts that he just kept saying "Ew" and refused to touch it with his hands.

He did love the pumpkin once it was done and was fascinated with the light.

Our Pumpkin

Daycare Halloween Party

The boy's daycare also had a small Halloween Party where the boys got to wear their Halloween costumes. It's nice that we had all these events and the boys got good use out of their costumes!

Halloween Day 

Halloween Day was an interesting one. Both kids woke up grumpy from their afternoon nap! It's like they just knew we were going to do something that night, so they didn't nap very long and then woke up all cranky. I was worried they weren't even going to make it out the door to try Trick or Treating.



Luckily, both kids made and got dressed. Munchkin was very fussy once we left the house. Can't blame him, we left the house when he's normally going down to go to sleep!

Little Guy practiced all day saying "Trick or Treat!" He was saying it really well. But once we went out to Trick or Treat, he didn't say it at all. Just went up to the people and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do. He tried going into every single house! He was too short to ring the doorbell, but he tried. He did end up getting a whole bunch of candy. Candy that he couldn't eat (or that I won't let him eat). Munchkin was a grumpy mess the entire time. I had to put him in the Tula carrier, he cried if he wasn't in there. He fell asleep for a little bit, so he didn't enjoy his first Halloween very much! Didn't even get to go up to a door. I'm sure next year will be a different story for him. I'm also sure that Little Guy will have a funner time next year as well, as he starts to understand things better.

All in all, Halloween this season was nice! The boys got to wear their costumes multiple times, we had a bunch of events that we attended, and Trick or Treating was semi-successful. 

Our Adoption!

My Little Guy is now officially my Forever Son! Our adoption was last Saturday and took place on National Adoption Day.

The Courthouse 

We arrived at the court house early and there was a lot going on: bounce houses, face painting, storm troopers, characters walking around, Santa and Mrs. Clause. As we waited, our friends started to arrive. I had a few friends fly/drive from California to attend, which was just amazing and nice of them!

Admittedly, I was in a sort of "daze" most of the day. Just couldn't believe after all the waiting, we were finally here - that it was actually happening. 

Most of the friends that said they were going to attend, made it. We had a good group of people there to support us. A few friends watched Munchkin for me, while a few of my friend's kids chased Little Guy around. He was so hyperactive, mostly running on fumes, as the adoption was right in the middle of his normal nap time! 

He was funny running down the hall, screaming, rolling around on the floor, climbing all over the place. 

When we arrived at the courtroom, I had to check in with my lawyer and sign a few more papers. Our courtroom was running behind, so they told me we would most likely go in later. So, we waited! 

The Finalization Hearing

When we were called into the courtroom, Little Guy was pretty much "done" and did not want to sit down. He tried to run around the courtroom! I put him on my lap and gave him some of his toy cars to play with. Instead of playing with them, he started to throw them! Oh my. LOL. The good thing is, I was so distracted with keeping him seated and happy -- that I didn't have time to be emotional. I was sworn in and then I had to answer questions posed by my lawyer. All the answers were "yes" - which made it easy for me. LOL. 

Little Guy was hilarious during the hearing. He was laughing, giggling, playing. He tried escaping me, but I managed to keep hold of him. I thought he would throw a tantrum, but he didn't. Thank goodness. 

Then, the judge said stuff and made things official! That's when I let a few tears fall. It was official. The foster care part with Little Guy was over. We were a Forever Family now. 

I still can't believe it. 

After the ceremony, I had a special person that made sure I received the Order of Adoption paperwork. We took family photos and took a few pictures around the courthouse. Then, we headed to a pizza place to celebrate with our friends. 

Celebrating

The pizza place was packed! I didn't expect that and I didn't reserve any seats. Fortunately, one of the reserved tables wasn't needed until later and we were able to use it. By this time, I am mentally exhausted. I hadn't eaten all day and I was just tired. We ordered food, ate, and chatted. Luckily, my friends continued watching Munchkin and the kids chased Little Guy around. I felt so grateful to have all these people to spend time with and share the joy of our adoption.

Arriving Home 

By the time we left, I felt like I could sleep for an entire day! We got home and the boys were also exhausted, went to sleep almost right away. No nap days will do that to you! That's when I let myself cry. It all hit me and I cried like a baby. My son is now mine, legally. It's all official. 

We received some amazing gifts and great advice on the "wishes" cards we sent out with the invitations. We are so blessed to have wonderful people in our lives.

Not As "Planned"

Things don't always go as 'planned' and people let you down sometimes. Despite that, I wanted to focus on the POSITIVE thing for the day -- the ADOPTION! But there were a few things that really impacted the start of the day for me.

The day didn't start off the 'best', as my brother was supposed to come into town for the adoption. At the last minute, he wasn't able to make it. I was very upset and disappointed. He is the only blood relative I really have contact with. I do have to admit, it wasn't surprising he didn't make it... But it didn't make it any easier dealing with him not coming. 

I also was supposed to have a friend help me with the boys the morning of the adoption, so I could get ready. She flaked on me, which made the morning a little more hectic than I expected or planned for. Left me scrambling to get myself and the boys ready to go. Not a great way to start off the day for sure!

At the End of the Day 

All in all. I still can't believe it. Maybe it'll sink in eventually. But I'm still in awe and get teary eyed thinking, "he's my son!" and "I get to watch him grow up!" and "We can make plans for the future" and "No more fears about him being taken away from me." 

I'm so amazed at my son and the happy little person he is. The randomness of the foster care system placement procedures brought me my forever son. How did I get so lucky? 

One More Week until our Adoption!!!

I can't explain the joy that I feel finally being able to PLAN our adoption finalization celebration! I've gone back and forth on what the day would look like and how we would celebrate. Now, it's only ONE week away!!

Deciding on National Adoption Day (NAD) was a great choice for a lot of reasons, but mostly because 1) we get to video record it and 2) more friends can attend :) It does however put a kink into having a finalization party. Originally, if I adopted during the week - I would have had the finalization party on a Saturday. Now, the adoption is on a Saturday and the court house is almost an hour away from my house. So, I had to play with a few different ideas.

I decided to invite everyone to the court hearing. I want to share the special day with everyone. Plus, NAD has a lot of activities for kids - so it'll be fun for little ones. Then after the court hearing, we'll head over to a pizza place that's nearby (about 12 minutes from the court house). We'll eat and chat there, plus the kids can play. Hopefully it all works out.

Etsy Shopping:  

I've never shopped on Etsy before, believe it or not! But I found some great things on there and shopped almost exclusively on Etsy for this event: 

• Found these awesome Invitations. They were mailed at the beginning of the month.  
• Wishes for Baby and Advice for Mom. Included in Invitation mailing and already started receiving some back! Yay :) 
• Thank You Cards 
• Amazing Guest Book on Etsy. 
• Special Gift for Little Guy 

Here's all of the invites that I sent out: 

Here are some other things:

• Hershey Adoption Announcement - these turned out really cute! 
• Letter from President, did you know they do adoption announcements and a lot of other greetings as well: White House Greetings. This will be completed after the adoption is finalized. 
• Family Photos - will include in Christmas Card. My friend was nice enough to do photos for us, to save us a little money. We are taking them tomorrow. Hoping they turn out nice! 
• Since the adoption is so close to sending out Christmas cards, I decided to combine the Adoption announcement with the Christmas card. Found this awesome adoption timeline announcement on Etsy. One side will be this adoption timeline and the other will be our Christmas greeting. Can't wait to see how these turn out. I customized the timeline to fit our adoption scenario. 
• My friend made this amazing sign for us: 

I'm so excited and can't believe in only 7 days, my Little Guy will officially be my forever son. I've been dreaming about this day and I can't wait! Counting down the days :)

Foster Care Review Board #4 for Little Guy

Just received notice in the mail for Little Guy's LAST Foster Care Review Board (FCRB). Interestingly enough, they are not requesting me to attend in person, just mail in a report. Probably because he's being adopted this month. 

I still can't believe that we are on the 4th FCRB hearing. He's been in foster care for that long.

Can you believe it -- I'M ADOPTING THIS MONTH!!!! I am so excited and can't believe it! It's finally almost here. 

By the time he's adopted, he would have been in foster care for 712 days. 712 days! Of course he has no clue he's in foster care and nothing is going to change for him. 

After 712 Days in foster care, Little Guy will finally be adopted. Marking the day we can start our Forever Family :) I can't wait! 

Adoption Update: Adoption Time Scheduled

Finally received my adoption time! It's all official, now I can order the invitations! 

I'm so excited and still burst into tears picturing adoption day & that moment that everything becomes "official". 

So hard to believe after this long wait that we are only a few weeks away from our big "Family Day"!!! 

I'm planning our finalization "party". Which is changing from what I originally planned, but that's ok :) I have some "gifts" I want to get for Little Guy, need to plan outfits for all of us, figure out logistics. So much to do, but all good stuff.

I'm done with all paperwork, just need to show up to court. I'm also really glad I decided on NAD, so that more people are able to attend the court hearing. It'll be nice to have friends there, even if it's only for a 10 minute court hearing. Lol. The 10 minutes that mean everything! So exciting! 

Talking about Adoption with my Toddler

It may sound weird, but I had a little panic attack when I realized that I have NOT spoken to Little Guy about adoption!

I always said that he would always know his story and would know he's adopted from the beginning. I guess with all the uncertainty for so long, with not knowing if I'm going to adopt him, that I just didn't talk to him about adoption (in case it didn't happen that way). He's been with me since he's been born, so it's hard to even think that he's not my birth child. I'm the only mom he's known. So sometimes I just forget that I have to be the one that explains things to him (in age-appropriate ways).

My hopes are that Little Guy embraces being adopted and looks at it like a positive thing. I know there may come a time when he becomes resentful, but I want to try to instill the value of adoption and what it means. I want him to be proud of his story and own it. Which means I have to start talking about it with him.

I was just thinking the other day that he has no clue that this huge, big day, is coming up -- our adoption day...!

I know he's young, not even 2 yet, but he understands things very well. I really want adoption to be part of his story and for him to be comfortable growing up knowing that he's adopted. So, I went on a search for "Toddler-Friendly Adoption Books". I have a bunch that I've requested at the library and will see if any of them are any good, maybe I'll even do a review of them (if it's worthwhile). There are mixed reviews on Goodreads for some of them and some really low review scores. I have a few ready for pickup at the library today, so we'll start "reading" about adoption tonight :)

I've also been thinking about making him his own "Adoption Book". I've always wanted to do this. I can't really finalize it until we have our adoption (so I can include a picture of us at court in the book). So, I've been thinking about that and what it's going to look like. I'm going to include pictures of his birth parents and of our family. Maybe a family tree? Still thinking about it. I want it to be age-appropriate and make it into a board book of sorts. Or perhaps just do pages in Word and print them -- putting them in a binder. That way I can add to it. Having Munchkin come live with us is a good thing, I think it'll be great to try to explain foster care and how some kids may only stay with us for a little bit. Maybe I will include a page with all of his foster "brothers and sisters". So many ideas. I need to start being actionable about these things.

Adoption books are great and all, but his story about being adopted from foster care is very personal. I want him to see his pictures and see how much he was loved by his birth family and by me.

I need to do more searches of blogs to see how adoption was discussed/introduced. This is all new to me too and I want to do it right. Here's to hoping and praying for a smooth start for my Little Guy in understanding adoption.

Parenting Two: Night Time Routine Adjustments

The transition to adding so many people to our home in a short period of time, took a little long to acclimate to. Luckily the "good morning routine" has and still continues to go smoothly. It was the "good night" routine that was difficult for all of us: Little Guy, Munchkin, and me.

Most of it was Munchkin adjusting to a new routine and Little Guy getting used to sharing my attention. For me, it was balancing all the night time activities between the two kids with maintaining the house somehow. It was pretty hectic for a few weeks in my house with both kids adjusting.

It took a lot of tweaking and adjustment to get back to a "peaceful" night time routine. But I think I finally have it down (after 3 weeks of making changes).

Normally, my kids would have separate rooms. However, a friend is living with us for a few months and is in the spare room. Therefore, the boys have to share a room - which can be difficult since Little Guy's never shared a room and Munchkin is still a baby. For the first few weeks, Munchkin slept in my room while I worked on getting him to sleep through the night.

This was Little Guys' night time routine before Munchkin. Originally, I tried to keep this same schedule and then just add Munchkin's items within there.

• 4:00 p.m. - Play Time / Floor Time
• 5:00 p.m. - I cook dinner / Little Guy watches a show or sits at table / Late Afternoon Nap
• 5:30 p.m. - Little Guy and I eat dinner / I clean up after I'm done / Baby Wear Munchkin 
• 6:00 p.m. - Bath Time / Bath Time
• 6:15 p.m. - PJ's / Brush Teeth / Story Time / Last Bottle for Munchkin 
• 6:30 p.m. - Cuddle Time, extra play time  / Munchkin bed time 
• 7:00 p.m. - Little Guy in bed 

On paper -- it would fit together just fine. However, Munchkin had different ideas. He would become extremely fussy at about 4:45/5pm every single evening. He was hard to settle and wouldn't take a nap (even though he was tired). He would be fussy all evening until he was in bed. So I knew I needed to make a change. His screaming and fussiness was impacting all of us and our once "peaceful" night routine became extremely stressful! 

I made change after change after change. Finally found a routine that has worked the best: 

• 4:00 p.m. - Bath Time for the boys 
• 4:45 p.m. - start Baby Wearing Munchkin/prep dinner for Little Guy. Note: he didn't like the Moby Wrap or the Onya. So I bought a new carrier, the Tula - which he seems to like. It's also really comfortable for me as well! Sometimes he'll nap in the carrier, sometimes he'll stay awake and fuss a bit. But he does better if I'm holding him. I need the hands-free, so the Tula has worked great. 
• 5:00 p.m. - Dinner for Little Guy. I try to eat at this time as well. If Munchkin is too fussy, I will eat after the kids are put to sleep. I have also changed cleanup time to after the kids are asleep. 
• 5:30 p.m. - Head Upstairs 
• 5:45 p.m. - Last bottle for Munchkin / Little Guy plays 
• 6:00 p.m. - Little Guy brushes teeth / Story time with the boys 
• 6:15 p.m. - Put Munchkin down to sleep / Extra cuddle time with Little Guy. Munchkin will sleep until 2:30 or 4:00, drink a bottle and go back to sleep until 6:15-ish. 
• 6:30/6:45 p.m. - Put Little Guy down to sleep. He's been doing better if he goes down earlier and he'll sleep until about 5:45/6am. 

So far, this has worked the best. It's not fail-safe, of course! But right now it's working well! It's now a "peaceful" time again :)

When Munchkin started sleeping for at least 8 hours at night, I moved him in Little Guy's room. I was surprised that it has gone so well!

First night sharing a room, Little Guy would reach through the crib and pat Munchkin saying, "it's ok". He also would sing to him. Very cute.

Now, since Munchkin is asleep by the time Little Guy goes in the room to sleep - Little Guy goes right to sleep and Munchkin doesn't wake up. I was also concerned that Munchkin would wake up Little Guy at the early AM feeding time. But nope, Little Guy stays asleep and doesn't wake up at all.

Things are finally running smoothly in the Family C household, thank goodness! Took a little longer than I expected, but with all the changes going on in our house - I guess it was not surprising it took us so long to adjust.

I'm really enjoying Munchkin. He's such a happy baby boy. He wakes up happy and is happy most of the day. He does need to be carried a lot, but I'm hoping that as he adjusts to living here that he'll be more comfortable not being held as much. For now, the Tula is my go-to carrier. 

Adoption Update: Meeting with Lawyer

It felt like it took forever to get to this point in the adoption process. Although in "reality" the adoption process has gone relatively quickly since parental rights were severed in June. Normally takes about 6 months to adopt after severance has happened. I'll be adopting 5 months after severance. I suppose it's felt long because to even get to the termination of parental rights, it took 18 months due to drawn out court hearings.

But we are finally getting there! It's starting to feel *real*, that I'll get to watch Little Guy grow up. It's such an emotional experience and hard to put my feelings in writing. I will try to write an entry on my feelings around the adoption a bit later. 

I was highly emotional in the morning thinking about finally getting to meet with the adoption lawyer and request NAD for our adoption date. I can blame it on the Clomid, but I think it's really just a relief and feeling of "I can't believe I'm here". I was a blubbering mess waiting to drive to my appointment. 

The Meeting 

I had to bring a few items with me: drivers license, my fingerprint clearance, and a copy of my Adoption Certification. The rest of the documents were provided by the Adoption Case Manager. The meeting went relatively quick. We discussed subsidy in detail: monetary monthly subsidy, medical subsidy, dental subsidy, and mental health subsidy -- and how they all work as either a primary or secondary insurance. The State has a few different plans that Little Guy can be placed with, which I could change if needed. What's interesting to note is that if we relocate to another State, that there are a few states that won't provide health care coverage. Luckily, I'm not planning to move to any of those states!

Action Items: Check with current providers and determine which of the State insurances they accept. Also, need to check if they accept my health care provider as well.

Then we discussed when I would receive his new birth certificate and how to request a new Social Security Number.  There was some discussion about the Adoption Tax Credit, which I guess I'm going to have to learn about when I file taxes.

I signed some paperwork. What's great about adopting from foster care is that there are no legal costs, as the costs are all covered by the State.

Then, we discussed National Adoption Day (NAD)! I signed the paperwork requesting NAD. We walked through the entire day, how things would go down. The actual "ceremony" will only last about 10 minutes. I'll have to be sworn in. We can video record (Yay!). We can get pictures with the judge afterwards. Little Guy will get a goody bag. We'll have a professional photo done. I'll receive the Adoption Decree prior to leaving - making everything LEGAL. We even discussed ways to help distract Little Guy during the ceremony! Let's see how he'll do :)

I should have the actual TIME of the hearing by the end of the month. Which is great, so that I can actually order my adoption invitations (Yay again!).

So, I was a bit emotional during the meeting... but was doing REALLY well at not tearing up and crying like a baby. I almost cried when I got to see his birth certificate. It may sound weird, but I haven't seen it before and to actually see it was nice. I now have a copy for him to have when he's older. The real tear starter was when we were going through how the adoption ceremony was going to go - and she got to the end where the judge says something (can't remember what now) -- and the adoption is finalized. That's when I started crying like a baby! LOL. I've been picturing that moment for so long now and it's so hard to believe that in a little less than 7 weeks -- we'll be there -- in the court room -- and it'll all be OFFICIAL. It's so hard to believe.

The lawyer was talking about when Little Guy starts kindergarten... and I couldn't believe I actually get to be there for all that. Then she started talking about when Little Guy graduates High School and when he turns 18, how all the subsidies work with that. I couldn't believe it - I get to see him grow up. I will be there on his first day of school. I will be there when he graduates High School. I'll get to watch all his milestones. I'll get to watch him become a young man. It's such a surreal feeling, I don't know if it'll ever feel "normal" to not worry about someone taking him from me. I just can't believe how blessed I am to be chosen to be his mama. I love him so much, he just brightens my world.

I also received a copy of the official severance documents. What's scary is that although the findings from our May hearing were to sever rights, the actual signed "judge order" to sever rights wasn't signed until JULY! I didn't know that... I thought it was signed in June. So, technically the birth parents could have appealed the decision all the way into August. I had no idea. If they appealed, I would not have been able to adopt this year, it would have delayed it until sometime in 2016.

Well, it's neither here nor there... but how crazy is that.

Next Steps: Good news - I'm done with paperwork! Woohoo! :) 

• Wait for Adoption Subsidy to get approved
• Meet with Adoption Case Manager to go over last minute items. 
• Show up to court on National Adoption Day where my Little Guy will become my Forever Son!!!!!! 

Now, thinking about: Adoption Finalization Party Planning, What we are going to wear to the adoption, and deciding if I will take adoption leave from work. I can take up to 12 weeks... deciding how much of this time I'll take. 

Adjusting to New Foster Baby

Some transitions are easier than others! I would rate the transition of Mr. Munchkin to be a little more difficult than usual. A few factors played into that:

• We were also adjusting to having a friend move in with us. 
• Munchkin came on a Monday, during the work week - which made it harder to start bonding. It's easier to bond when they arrive on a Friday, since you have the entire weekend to get to know them. 
• It was just a hectic week already, schedule-wise. Adding a new baby in the mist of everything was a little stressful. 
• He's not sleeping through the night yet and he's still adjusting to his new environment. 

First night with the boys sharing a room, didn't go that well! The new baby didn't like the crib - at all and kept crying. What was cute, was Little Guy's reaction to it: 

• He tried talking to the new baby when he was crying. Telling him about the room and pointing things out. 
• He tried to show him his toy dog. Saying "puppy" and putting it against the crib so the baby can see it. 
• He tried to rub the new baby's tummy trying to settle him.

Needless to say, the new baby is currently sleeping in my room until I can get him on an 8-10 hour sleep at night schedule. I've tried twice to move him into Little Guy's room with no success. I'll keep trying. He sometimes sleeps really well, 7-8 hour stretches. Other times he's up every 3-4 hours. Not consistent at all. I'm still learning his quirks and his signals. Also trying to figure out why he does well on certain nights compared to others.

Some things Little Guy has done in reaction to the baby:

• When Munchkin is crying, Little Guy will tell him, "Stop it!" I had to coach him on this one! Now, he sometimes will pat the Baby's head and say, "It's OK". 
• Little Guy wants to do everything the baby is doing. If baby is sitting and playing in the Boppy Pillow, then Little Guy wants to sit in the Boppy Pillow. If baby is playing in the floor gym matt, Little Guy wants to play on the floor gym matt. If baby is in the swing, Little Guy wants to sit in the swing. If Baby has a chew toy or a pacifier, Little Guy has to take it and put it in his mouth! 
• Little Guy will dance to the baby music and Munchkin loves it and laughs. 

We are still adjusting, but it's getting better. I think I've tweaked our schedule enough so that I'm giving Little Guy attention and Munchkin is getting face time as well. I am feeling more comfortable having the two of them and balancing my time and adjusting the schedule. 

I'll be happy when the sleep schedule gets better for Munchkin and when the boys can share a room without waking each other up! I'll give it a month and hopefully the schedule will get smoother. In the mean time, I'm constantly adjusting things to try to meet Munchkin where he's at and trying my best to make the transition for him ok. 

Adoption Update: Officially Certified to Adopt!

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting to finally post this entry!!! I am officially CERTIFIED TO ADOPT!!!!! YAY!!! Finally moving forward for real now. Spoke to my adoption lawyer,the  appointment is scheduled & I will make the NAD deadline! Woohoo! 

Weird comment from  a friend after telling her I was going to adopt. She said, "That means Mommy for real." Hmmm. Have I been a "fake mommy" all this time? Guess that's a little pet peeve of mine. Whether you're a foster mother, adoptive mother, step mother, birth mother --- you are a MOTHER. You are caring for the kids in your home, you are loving the kids in your home, you're providing for the kids in your home. That's what "real" moms do.

Now, I know my friend didn't mean to be offensive. I know that she's happy that I'm finally adopting. It's all about word choices.

Anyways... I'm really excited and can't believe it! It's finally almost here. We have a solid date. There's an end to the scare of him leaving... and a beginning of our Forever Family. I'm going to be a crying mess at the court hearing for finalization! I'm already teary eyed just thinking about it! November will be here before we know it. 

Next Steps: 

• Meet with the Adoption Lawyer, scheduled on 10/5 @ 3:30pm
• Request NAD adoption date by 10/9 deadline 
• Complete lawyer paperwork 

Little Guy: Toddler-isms

Toddlers can be so much fun. I've noticed that Little Guy is doing more and more as his personality is shining through as he gets older. Here are a few captured moments I didn't want to forget: 

• We were listening to the Music Channel and "Let it Go" from Frozen came on. All of a sudden Little Guy starts singing "Let it go!" I tried to record it, but then he got distracted. It was so adorable. Now, he goes around singing "Let it go!" 
• He's starting to put his arm over his eyes when he doesn't like something I said. 

• Hugging his stuffed animals and rubbing his nose against theirs. Giggling the whole time. 
• Hugging his stuffed animals and patting their backs. 
• He's been getting bit at daycare by another toddler. Daycare says that he's learned to "tease" other kids already. Hmmm. 
• He now has an obsession with "crackers". He will whine if he sees them and ask for "crackers" and sign "please." 
• Pretending his food is a plane or car or person or phone and making the corresponding noises to go with them. 
• Putting food in his mouth, then spitting it out and saying "hot" - then blowing on it. This was on a cold piece of lunch meat... 
• Looking at his toy Elmo's bottom and asking Elmo, "Poo Poo?" Or playing with the dolphin toys in the bath and when water comes out of the bottom, asking "You Poo Poo?"
• At IHOP, spilled the salt onto the table and then tried to lick it up. 
• Went to a Gymboree class and he was having so much fun, laughing during the umbrella portion and the bubbles. He loved it so much. 
• He's starting to help feed the dog!
  
  
  
  I feel so blessed that I get to adopt him. He's such a joy and is so much fun.