The *Maybe* Move: Week 2 - Moving Forward

Today is Easter. I had a lovely, relaxed, day with the kids. They opened their Easter baskets, they ate a lot of sugar, they dyed eggs, we ate the dyed eggs, we Zoomed with my mom and little brother. Nothing fancy, pretty simple, yet pretty perfect. 

Last year, during the stay-at-home order, I felt I had to compensate and make Easter super big for the boys. It ended up being super stressful for me and we didn’t have a great day. So I’m glad I kept it super light and basic this year. Though B did tell me he wanted an Easter egg hunt! Maybe next year :) 

This was a week of ups and downs on the *maybe* move. Highlights: 

1. My friend toured the house - it’s in great shape! 
2. I got connected with the owner and spoke to her 
3. The owner spoke to my realtor
4. Got some things fixed at my AZ house: sprinklers, new irrigation timer, plumbing work 
5. Received all my packing supplies from Amazon 

It was a strange week where I wasn’t sure if this would really happen. The owner was going back and forth on whether she would do a direct sale to me or list on MLS. So, I wasn’t 100% that this would move forward. 

I spoke to the owner, she’s super nice. And guess what - she went though IVF to have her kids. I appreciate that people are open to discussing using IVF to build their families. I have found that it can be something not discussed much... I thought things were on track to move forward, but she kept having second thoughts about listing vs direct sale. 

I connected her with my realtor. It took a few days, but she finally told my realtor that she wants to move forward with the direct sale to me! She wants to finish painting the house and then we will do a virtual tour in about a week. After the tour, I can officially put in an offer! Then we can move forward with the appraisal / inspection. I am excited to do the virtual tour! I’ve seen pictures of the inside from previous listings, so it’ll be nice to see it in more detail. 

I’m grateful that things are falling into place! However, I still have some due diligence and research to do on a few items. It’s a big deal to relocate from here to a rural area. Lots to consider. I just want to make sure I’m really thinking this through. I posted on the Single Mothers by Choice forum and received a lot of great feedback and questions I didn’t originally consider. So... I’m going to look into a few more things and have a few more conversations. 

I also got some things done at my house: plumbing work, replaced my irrigation timer. I have some things lined up: appliance repair & having new plants planted in the front yard + drip line replacement. 

Things I’m looking to do in Week 3: 

1. Looking into using PODS or something similar for the move. Going to get quotes. I have lined up help to unpack there. I’m working on lining up help to pack here. It’s cheaper than using a full on moving company by like thousands of dollars. 
2. I need to start packing!!! I’m going to commit to working on packing for at least an hour a day. 
3. I’m hoping that the walk through happens and then the offer gets put in. 
4. I’m looking into daycare/nanny solutions for my littles. Mostly in the research phase. I might need to start off with a babysitter, then eventually find a full time nanny if I can’t get the kids into the daycare. 
5. I’m trying to line up childcare for a weekend so I can fly over there to see the house/property in person. This will probably be in May. I’ll probably bring the baby with me and have someone babysit the boys. I haven’t flown since pre-Covid... but I would feel better seeing the place in-person before we close on the property. 

Lots to do...! My mind is seriously flooded with thoughts about moving. There’s so much to think about and consider. I’ve been doing a lot of research on homesteads and such. I might make a 10 year plan on what I want to do on the property... I have a vision forming on what I want to ultimately do there. You know, the planner in me! Plus, the stuff I want to do, I’ll need to budget for. 

Reaction from friends have been funny! Especially people that have known me for a long time. For the most part, everyone has been super supportive. Some concerns about me being able to maintain the property and my lack of erm, “skills,” in doing that type of work. I take no offense to that, as I am not known for being handy! Lol. It’s definitely going to be a learning curve for me. Luckily, I like challenges & I like learning new things/skills :)  

What I’ve noticed is, lots of people have considered something similar and just never moved forward with it. I think I can think and think and think... consider the pros and cons & just get stuck on making a decision. When it boils down to it, I want a change! 

But yes... it’s looking like this “City Girl” is going to be making this big move - if the rest of the puzzle pieces fall into place. 

More to come! 

The *Maybe* Move: Week 1 - figuring things out

With the decision that I definitely wanted to pursue moving to Missouri, I had my long list of things to do/research. Once Monday hit, I was on the phone - which felt like non-stop. I don’t think I’ve been on the phone for such a long time since I was a teen! I can’t believe all the things I got done in one week! 

1. Spoke to the SPED director at the local public school. Discussed my son’s IEP and his needs. 
2. Called Preschools/Pre-Ks. Most are currently full. Found out that the public school has free part-time Pre-K! So score on that. Just need to fill the gap. I put L on a few waiting lists. 
3. Called daycares and reviewed their inspection reports. They are also all full! It’s going to be a challenge to get E into a daycare. I did put her on a few waiting lists. The other option is to try and find a nanny to watch E and L (when he’s not in school). 
4. Called a local realtor that my friend suggested. She is SUPER nice and very responsive! I called her on a Monday and she found me a lender licensed in MO, talked to me about what I needed to do, we met at my house on that Thursday. So by Monday night I already reached out to the lender and got prequalified! By Thursday I had an idea of what I’d need to do to sell my house in AZ. 
5. I reached out to a realtor in MO and discussed what it would look like to purchase a house directly from the owner (vs. a listing). She is able to represent me and help me through this, which gives me huge peace of mind. I’ve only bought one house - my current house. I bought this house directly from the builder. So I never had to do anything like negotiate on the offer on a house or anything. 
6. Researched the local area. 
7. Looked into storm shelters and history of tornadoes in the area. 
8. Got some estimates on using movers. 
9. Told my manager about the potential move. 
10. Researched gardening in MO and about chicken coops!
11. I bought moving supplies! 
12. I created a project plan to consolidate all the things I need to do, want to do, need to research, etc. 

Phew. Week #1 was productive. By doing all of these things, it made me really want to move. It’s hard to be so hopeful that this will work out and trying to be cautious. So I figure, if it doesn’t work out - then at least I have decluttered my house, which I’ve been trying to do for YEARS! LOL. Also, I know for sure I want to move... I want a change. So, there’s that. Ideally, all will work out with this house and we’ll move in June/July. If not, there are other options to explore. 

The “Maybe” Big Decision

I’m a planner. I love routines. I love predictability in my day-to-day. It’s just part of who I am. At the beginning of 2021, I created a 10 year plan for the next decade. Seems extreme, if you’re not a planner :) But I’ve always had “something” I was reaching for or trying to get to. Those milestones were easier to wrap my arms around: go to college, graduate from college, get a job, buy a house, start fostering, try for a baby, etc. 

Now that I’m done building my family and my kids are starting to get older, life’s goals and things to reach for have been... different. I have to make a more concerted effort to make things happen. That’s where my 10 year plan came in, to help provide a guide for me - something to work towards and dream about. 

Well, my wonderful 10 year plan - got thrown out the window! Yes, I am a planner. But, I’m also adaptable! A once in a lifetime opportunity has suddenly come up. 

My friend moved away from here last year. Her and her husband bought some land out in the country and moved their family out there. I was in awe that they were able to make such a big change and questioned whether I would ever be able to take such a leap. Last year - while pregnant - the answer was heck no. The pandemic hit - and the answer was heck no. 

A house right next to their property is going up for sale. It’s a beautiful house that sits on 6 acres. Yes = SIX ACRES. When she originally brought it up to me - the answer was heck no. Then... I started to ask myself, “why?” Why no? So, I did what I normally do... I researched... 

• Single mom living in the country 
• Moving from the city to the country 
• What is a septic tank 
• How do you maintain well water 
• What to do when there’s a tornado (this was almost a deal breaker for me) 
• How to maintain wooded acres 

List goes on and on, but you get the gist. I was trying to see if this was a big scary thing that I should never do... or if it was something I could totally do, if I wanted to. 

Turns out my friend’s neighbor is willing to sell the house to me direct sale...! Then, I started getting really serious about looking into logistics: moving costs, timing conflicts, I made a pro/con list, I made a list of things I would need to figure out before making a decision. My initial list: 

1. School / SPED program
2. Preschools / Pre-K programs 
3. Daycares 
4. Moving costs 
5. Timing with end of school and L’s birthday 
6. What I need to do to buy
7. What I need to do to sell my current house 
8. Misc. questions on tornadoes, storm shelters, utilities, land zoning, weather, etc. 

After a few days of letting the idea marinate in my brain... it’s such a huge mind shift from what I originally had planned in life. I started getting excited... and I started making phone calls... and I started feeling like - I can do this! I want to do this! Let’s do this! 

So my *maybe* adventure to move my little family from AZ to MO has just begun!

Fast Forward to 2021

Gosh... it’s been a long time since I’ve sat down to update this blog. I admit, it’s hard for me to keep a blog because I’m so private & it feels counter intuitive to put all my life happenings out in the cyber world. 

Since the last time I wrote - so much has happened! 

But before diving into that, why I stopped writing. 

My one and only embryo from the cycle I last wrote about came back PGS normal and female. I thought it would work... I did another Hysteroscopy to prep for the cycle & the FET cycle failed. I was in a very dark place afterward. I think the mix of hormones from the fertility treatments, running out of time fertility-wise, and running out of money to keep trying... just really brought me down. I had the transfer and it didn’t work and I had no embryos left. I was completely devastated. I just couldn’t keep documenting all the heartbreak... so I stopped blogging. 

However, I did keep trying. I switched fertility clinics (hard for me to do!) and had 2 more IVF cycles... one failed cycle and one cycle that resulted in 3 embryos. First fresh transfer of 2 embryos = didn’t work. Transferred my very last embryo.... and IT WORKED!!!

I became pregnant with my daughter! Then... when I was in my third trimester = Coronavirus hit. My daughter was born during the stay at home order in my state. Such a crazy time. She’s now almost 11 months old & still hasn’t met most of my friends or family. 

My B is now in 1st grade and is 7. And my L will be turning 4 soon. They both love their Sissy. 

I am hoping to catch up on this blog and maybe document a new adventure... I am considering a cross country move to a rural area! I grew up in a big city and have lived close to a big city all my life. Now I’m considering moving my little family to the country and purchasing acreage. Like, what?! Lol. 

Hoping to get back into writing and sharing this journey. Because it’s going to be a crazy big change for me and my kids. There’s more I’d like to write about as well... like parenting a child with special needs, having L learn and own his birth story, being cut off from my support system during the pandemic... here’s to hoping I can find the time to blog and share some of our story.