Our Adoption!

My Little Guy is now officially my Forever Son! Our adoption was last Saturday and took place on National Adoption Day.

The Courthouse 

We arrived at the court house early and there was a lot going on: bounce houses, face painting, storm troopers, characters walking around, Santa and Mrs. Clause. As we waited, our friends started to arrive. I had a few friends fly/drive from California to attend, which was just amazing and nice of them!

Admittedly, I was in a sort of "daze" most of the day. Just couldn't believe after all the waiting, we were finally here - that it was actually happening. 

Most of the friends that said they were going to attend, made it. We had a good group of people there to support us. A few friends watched Munchkin for me, while a few of my friend's kids chased Little Guy around. He was so hyperactive, mostly running on fumes, as the adoption was right in the middle of his normal nap time! 

He was funny running down the hall, screaming, rolling around on the floor, climbing all over the place. 

When we arrived at the courtroom, I had to check in with my lawyer and sign a few more papers. Our courtroom was running behind, so they told me we would most likely go in later. So, we waited! 

The Finalization Hearing

When we were called into the courtroom, Little Guy was pretty much "done" and did not want to sit down. He tried to run around the courtroom! I put him on my lap and gave him some of his toy cars to play with. Instead of playing with them, he started to throw them! Oh my. LOL. The good thing is, I was so distracted with keeping him seated and happy -- that I didn't have time to be emotional. I was sworn in and then I had to answer questions posed by my lawyer. All the answers were "yes" - which made it easy for me. LOL. 

Little Guy was hilarious during the hearing. He was laughing, giggling, playing. He tried escaping me, but I managed to keep hold of him. I thought he would throw a tantrum, but he didn't. Thank goodness. 

Then, the judge said stuff and made things official! That's when I let a few tears fall. It was official. The foster care part with Little Guy was over. We were a Forever Family now. 

I still can't believe it. 

After the ceremony, I had a special person that made sure I received the Order of Adoption paperwork. We took family photos and took a few pictures around the courthouse. Then, we headed to a pizza place to celebrate with our friends. 

Celebrating

The pizza place was packed! I didn't expect that and I didn't reserve any seats. Fortunately, one of the reserved tables wasn't needed until later and we were able to use it. By this time, I am mentally exhausted. I hadn't eaten all day and I was just tired. We ordered food, ate, and chatted. Luckily, my friends continued watching Munchkin and the kids chased Little Guy around. I felt so grateful to have all these people to spend time with and share the joy of our adoption.

Arriving Home 

By the time we left, I felt like I could sleep for an entire day! We got home and the boys were also exhausted, went to sleep almost right away. No nap days will do that to you! That's when I let myself cry. It all hit me and I cried like a baby. My son is now mine, legally. It's all official. 

We received some amazing gifts and great advice on the "wishes" cards we sent out with the invitations. We are so blessed to have wonderful people in our lives.

Not As "Planned"

Things don't always go as 'planned' and people let you down sometimes. Despite that, I wanted to focus on the POSITIVE thing for the day -- the ADOPTION! But there were a few things that really impacted the start of the day for me.

The day didn't start off the 'best', as my brother was supposed to come into town for the adoption. At the last minute, he wasn't able to make it. I was very upset and disappointed. He is the only blood relative I really have contact with. I do have to admit, it wasn't surprising he didn't make it... But it didn't make it any easier dealing with him not coming. 

I also was supposed to have a friend help me with the boys the morning of the adoption, so I could get ready. She flaked on me, which made the morning a little more hectic than I expected or planned for. Left me scrambling to get myself and the boys ready to go. Not a great way to start off the day for sure!

At the End of the Day 

All in all. I still can't believe it. Maybe it'll sink in eventually. But I'm still in awe and get teary eyed thinking, "he's my son!" and "I get to watch him grow up!" and "We can make plans for the future" and "No more fears about him being taken away from me." 

I'm so amazed at my son and the happy little person he is. The randomness of the foster care system placement procedures brought me my forever son. How did I get so lucky? 

One More Week until our Adoption!!!

I can't explain the joy that I feel finally being able to PLAN our adoption finalization celebration! I've gone back and forth on what the day would look like and how we would celebrate. Now, it's only ONE week away!!

Deciding on National Adoption Day (NAD) was a great choice for a lot of reasons, but mostly because 1) we get to video record it and 2) more friends can attend :) It does however put a kink into having a finalization party. Originally, if I adopted during the week - I would have had the finalization party on a Saturday. Now, the adoption is on a Saturday and the court house is almost an hour away from my house. So, I had to play with a few different ideas.

I decided to invite everyone to the court hearing. I want to share the special day with everyone. Plus, NAD has a lot of activities for kids - so it'll be fun for little ones. Then after the court hearing, we'll head over to a pizza place that's nearby (about 12 minutes from the court house). We'll eat and chat there, plus the kids can play. Hopefully it all works out.

Etsy Shopping:  

I've never shopped on Etsy before, believe it or not! But I found some great things on there and shopped almost exclusively on Etsy for this event: 

• Found these awesome Invitations. They were mailed at the beginning of the month.  
• Wishes for Baby and Advice for Mom. Included in Invitation mailing and already started receiving some back! Yay :) 
• Thank You Cards 
• Amazing Guest Book on Etsy. 
• Special Gift for Little Guy 

Here's all of the invites that I sent out: 

Here are some other things:

• Hershey Adoption Announcement - these turned out really cute! 
• Letter from President, did you know they do adoption announcements and a lot of other greetings as well: White House Greetings. This will be completed after the adoption is finalized. 
• Family Photos - will include in Christmas Card. My friend was nice enough to do photos for us, to save us a little money. We are taking them tomorrow. Hoping they turn out nice! 
• Since the adoption is so close to sending out Christmas cards, I decided to combine the Adoption announcement with the Christmas card. Found this awesome adoption timeline announcement on Etsy. One side will be this adoption timeline and the other will be our Christmas greeting. Can't wait to see how these turn out. I customized the timeline to fit our adoption scenario. 
• My friend made this amazing sign for us: 

I'm so excited and can't believe in only 7 days, my Little Guy will officially be my forever son. I've been dreaming about this day and I can't wait! Counting down the days :)

Adoption Update: Adoption Time Scheduled

Finally received my adoption time! It's all official, now I can order the invitations! 

I'm so excited and still burst into tears picturing adoption day & that moment that everything becomes "official". 

So hard to believe after this long wait that we are only a few weeks away from our big "Family Day"!!! 

I'm planning our finalization "party". Which is changing from what I originally planned, but that's ok :) I have some "gifts" I want to get for Little Guy, need to plan outfits for all of us, figure out logistics. So much to do, but all good stuff.

I'm done with all paperwork, just need to show up to court. I'm also really glad I decided on NAD, so that more people are able to attend the court hearing. It'll be nice to have friends there, even if it's only for a 10 minute court hearing. Lol. The 10 minutes that mean everything! So exciting! 

Adoption Update: Meeting with Lawyer

It felt like it took forever to get to this point in the adoption process. Although in "reality" the adoption process has gone relatively quickly since parental rights were severed in June. Normally takes about 6 months to adopt after severance has happened. I'll be adopting 5 months after severance. I suppose it's felt long because to even get to the termination of parental rights, it took 18 months due to drawn out court hearings.

But we are finally getting there! It's starting to feel *real*, that I'll get to watch Little Guy grow up. It's such an emotional experience and hard to put my feelings in writing. I will try to write an entry on my feelings around the adoption a bit later. 

I was highly emotional in the morning thinking about finally getting to meet with the adoption lawyer and request NAD for our adoption date. I can blame it on the Clomid, but I think it's really just a relief and feeling of "I can't believe I'm here". I was a blubbering mess waiting to drive to my appointment. 

The Meeting 

I had to bring a few items with me: drivers license, my fingerprint clearance, and a copy of my Adoption Certification. The rest of the documents were provided by the Adoption Case Manager. The meeting went relatively quick. We discussed subsidy in detail: monetary monthly subsidy, medical subsidy, dental subsidy, and mental health subsidy -- and how they all work as either a primary or secondary insurance. The State has a few different plans that Little Guy can be placed with, which I could change if needed. What's interesting to note is that if we relocate to another State, that there are a few states that won't provide health care coverage. Luckily, I'm not planning to move to any of those states!

Action Items: Check with current providers and determine which of the State insurances they accept. Also, need to check if they accept my health care provider as well.

Then we discussed when I would receive his new birth certificate and how to request a new Social Security Number.  There was some discussion about the Adoption Tax Credit, which I guess I'm going to have to learn about when I file taxes.

I signed some paperwork. What's great about adopting from foster care is that there are no legal costs, as the costs are all covered by the State.

Then, we discussed National Adoption Day (NAD)! I signed the paperwork requesting NAD. We walked through the entire day, how things would go down. The actual "ceremony" will only last about 10 minutes. I'll have to be sworn in. We can video record (Yay!). We can get pictures with the judge afterwards. Little Guy will get a goody bag. We'll have a professional photo done. I'll receive the Adoption Decree prior to leaving - making everything LEGAL. We even discussed ways to help distract Little Guy during the ceremony! Let's see how he'll do :)

I should have the actual TIME of the hearing by the end of the month. Which is great, so that I can actually order my adoption invitations (Yay again!).

So, I was a bit emotional during the meeting... but was doing REALLY well at not tearing up and crying like a baby. I almost cried when I got to see his birth certificate. It may sound weird, but I haven't seen it before and to actually see it was nice. I now have a copy for him to have when he's older. The real tear starter was when we were going through how the adoption ceremony was going to go - and she got to the end where the judge says something (can't remember what now) -- and the adoption is finalized. That's when I started crying like a baby! LOL. I've been picturing that moment for so long now and it's so hard to believe that in a little less than 7 weeks -- we'll be there -- in the court room -- and it'll all be OFFICIAL. It's so hard to believe.

The lawyer was talking about when Little Guy starts kindergarten... and I couldn't believe I actually get to be there for all that. Then she started talking about when Little Guy graduates High School and when he turns 18, how all the subsidies work with that. I couldn't believe it - I get to see him grow up. I will be there on his first day of school. I will be there when he graduates High School. I'll get to watch all his milestones. I'll get to watch him become a young man. It's such a surreal feeling, I don't know if it'll ever feel "normal" to not worry about someone taking him from me. I just can't believe how blessed I am to be chosen to be his mama. I love him so much, he just brightens my world.

I also received a copy of the official severance documents. What's scary is that although the findings from our May hearing were to sever rights, the actual signed "judge order" to sever rights wasn't signed until JULY! I didn't know that... I thought it was signed in June. So, technically the birth parents could have appealed the decision all the way into August. I had no idea. If they appealed, I would not have been able to adopt this year, it would have delayed it until sometime in 2016.

Well, it's neither here nor there... but how crazy is that.

Next Steps: Good news - I'm done with paperwork! Woohoo! :) 

• Wait for Adoption Subsidy to get approved
• Meet with Adoption Case Manager to go over last minute items. 
• Show up to court on National Adoption Day where my Little Guy will become my Forever Son!!!!!! 

Now, thinking about: Adoption Finalization Party Planning, What we are going to wear to the adoption, and deciding if I will take adoption leave from work. I can take up to 12 weeks... deciding how much of this time I'll take. 

Adoption Update: Officially Certified to Adopt!

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting to finally post this entry!!! I am officially CERTIFIED TO ADOPT!!!!! YAY!!! Finally moving forward for real now. Spoke to my adoption lawyer,the  appointment is scheduled & I will make the NAD deadline! Woohoo! 

Weird comment from  a friend after telling her I was going to adopt. She said, "That means Mommy for real." Hmmm. Have I been a "fake mommy" all this time? Guess that's a little pet peeve of mine. Whether you're a foster mother, adoptive mother, step mother, birth mother --- you are a MOTHER. You are caring for the kids in your home, you are loving the kids in your home, you're providing for the kids in your home. That's what "real" moms do.

Now, I know my friend didn't mean to be offensive. I know that she's happy that I'm finally adopting. It's all about word choices.

Anyways... I'm really excited and can't believe it! It's finally almost here. We have a solid date. There's an end to the scare of him leaving... and a beginning of our Forever Family. I'm going to be a crying mess at the court hearing for finalization! I'm already teary eyed just thinking about it! November will be here before we know it. 

Next Steps: 

• Meet with the Adoption Lawyer, scheduled on 10/5 @ 3:30pm
• Request NAD adoption date by 10/9 deadline 
• Complete lawyer paperwork 

Adoption: To NAD or not to NAD, that is the question.

The longer it takes me to move forward with adopting, it's pushing back my adoption date. Once everything gets green-lighted, I should be able to get an adoption date within 60 days. The reason I get to receive an adoption date within 60 days is because my son has been with me for more than a year, so they try to fast-track the adoption.

However, it's taking forever for things to get green-lighted! The longer it takes - the more things get pushed back on the timeline. At this point, I *might* be able to get a late October adoption date (if I'm lucky), but most likely it's going to be in November. In order to receive an October adoption date, I would need to get green-lighted next week... but then the adoption date would fall close to Halloween, which is not a good idea. Anytime after next week will land me a November date. November is also when they have "National Adoption Day" (NAD).

So, the question is: Should I ask for my adoption to be on NAD?

I've attended adoptions on NAD and on non-NAD days. I personally wasn't impressed with the NAD festivities... However, it was more festive and there was an air of excitement. On non-NAD days, there can be a mix of people in the court house and feels a little weird celebrating when others aren't.

The issue is, November is a crazy month! Thanksgiving is one weekend and there's a lot of other things happening every single weekend in November.

I've decided to make  PRO-CON list to try and make a decision.

Pros and Cons of Participating in NAD 

PROS:

• It's on the weekend. 
• The event is more exciting. 
• More people can potentially make it since it's on a Saturday. 
• Can do the adoption and the adoption finalization party on the same day. 
• More people are allowed in the court room. 
• Professional family picture after adoption hearing. 
• Can potentially video record it. 

CONS:

• The court house for NAD is far. About a 45 minute drive. 
• It's so close to Thanksgiving, that out of state friends/family may not be able to make it. 
• There is a conference that weekend that many of my local friends will be attending, so they would not be able to make our adoption. 
• It's so close to Little Guy's birthday.  
• Lots of people are already traveling that week due to Thanksgiving. 

The deadline to file petitions for NAD is 10/9/15...

Ugh. Of course this is all on stand-by until I can actually talk to my lawyer! I can't talk to her until my agency gets their act together and submits all my stuff to the court. It's frustrating not being able to plan for anything. If things went smoothly, I would have an adoption date already.  <sigh>

I guess I shouldn't complain, as I'm extremely grateful to be adopting! I just wish the adoption would happen a few months before the holidays and before Little Guy's birthday. I want them to be "separate" events and not combine the adoption into any birthday/holiday celebrations.

But we are where we are. I think I'm leaning towards NAD, even if I feel like the Cons out-weigh the Pros. It would be nice if I can get the date sooner than later so I can send out a "save the date" thing and maybe people can plan to make it out.

The best thing is I am going to be adopting my Little Guy. These are just the minute details. I would like all those that have been part of our journey to be a family to attend. But I know that is just wishful thinking.

Edited to Add: Another PRO for NAD is that you can record the adoption procedures (confirmed from the adoption lawyer). On non-NAD days, you can't. This would be great, since Little Guy will be too young to remember it and I would love to show him the recording of when we officially became a family.