IVF #4: Started Lupron

It feels "official" now... I have started Lupron.

I have to admit to feeling a bit intimidated with giving myself shots again. Which I think is so odd because I gave myself shots all throughout TTC and also throughout my pregnancy. Maybe I'm a bit traumatized by it all? 

It took me a few minutes to calm myself down. I did some deep breathing, but I finally was able to do my injection. The morning one was the hardest! The evening one went a little faster, though I still hesitated. 

But it's done. Day #1 of shots. Not officially "stimming" yet, but almost there. 

Thing I'm glad I remembered to do: pump the needle. The needles can be hard to inject - by moving it up/down a few times before collecting the medicine, it makes it easier to push the plunger. 

Here's my calendar from my Piper Patch Notebook (https://www.piperpatch.com/) and a picture of my meds / lupron needle: 

I really like the daily affirmation for today in the Piper Patch notebook :)  

I'm going to keep a "shot count" this cycle. I wish I would've kept a record of it for my other cycles and throughout pregnancy, then I could say "I did XXX number of shots." I suppose I can go back and count them, but that's just too much work! 

IVF #4 Shot Count: 2

My Thoughts 

This cycle is so strange in a way... it almost feels like I'm not really going through IVF again. Starting this process brings back so many memories and so many years of having this "dream" of building my family. Yesterday I was watching my boys play together outside and it brought happy tears to my eyes. I feel so fortunate and so grateful to be their Mama. 

I'm starting this cycle in a different place than I did back in 2014/2015. Back then, my oldest was still my foster child and I wasn't sure I would be able to adopt him - so much uncertainty around his case plan. My youngest was a dream I was chasing, which I would chase for almost 2 years and tens of thousands of dollars - all worth it. 

As I sit here thinking about my family and this life we're building together... I can't help but feel like any potential future baby would be so lucky to have my boys as his/her brothers. And also how lucky my boys would be to have a new baby brother/sister. I am grateful that I'm able to try for another baby. 

Next Steps: Continue Lupron for another day, then start Stims!