The Road to Baby #3: IVF #5 - another canceled cycle

Continuing the story of trying for baby #3. Quick recap up to this point in the narration: 

1. I cycled (IVF #4) with my old clinic in October 2018 and had 1 PGS normal embryo. 
2. I transferred that embryo in January 2019 and it didn’t work. 
3. I consulted with 2 other fertility clinics in February 2019.
4. I started another cycle (IVF #5) in March/April 2019. 

The RE’s office was interesting because they had a play place for kids and also had a Christmas tree they kept up all year. Here’s one they had up when I cycled in April 2019: 

The changing themes on the Christmas tree always brought a smile to my face. 

An excerpt from my diary at the start of the cycle: 

I have to admit that starting a new IVF cycle has kind of taken me off guard. Partly due to working with another clinic, partly because of the expense, party because I had to pick a new donor, partly because it’s a whole new protocol, and partly because I just can’t believe I have to do another IVF cycle. 

 

The clinic does things differently, so I’m still getting used to how things are done here. But I also wasn’t really expecting all the extra costs. Insurance coverage sometimes doesn’t mean anything really. My meds cost more than 2K. I exhausted my Health Savings Account and paid cash for the remainder. Luckily I’m getting my tax return in a few weeks! I will still need to pay about $4k out of pocket for the cycle itself. 

 

The clinic is different where they have a designated ultrasound tech. She’s an older lady and she’s a bit chatty. Lol. She mentioned that my uterus is tilted back, which I’ve heard before when I was pregnant with L. 

 

Strangely, I’m feeling extremely positive about this cycle and already hoping for a Christmas baby!! The timing isn’t what I expected, but all I want for Christmas is Baby #3! 

The cycle didn’t work... I didn’t make it to retrieval. An excerpt from my diary entry: 

I’m so frustrated. ANOTHER canceled cycle. This is my 3rd canceled cycle. Five IVFs and 3 canceled cycles… that just feels horrible. Not to mention the cost expense of it all… oh the cost. I’m really feeling it now because I have two kids now and I’ve spent 10k OOP. Money that could’ve gone to vacations, or college funds, or paying off debt. Just makes me cringe. 

 

But I want this baby. I want this baby so darn bad. I can’t stop trying for him/her. I already have this place in our lives and in my heart for this child. I don’t know when to call it quits with my own eggs… I just know I’m not there yet. 

 

I don’t think I can afford more than one IVF retrieval due to my max fertility benefits, which will be exhausted after/when I have an IVF retrieval.  So… it sucks. I feel sad. But I have to move on and keep trying for now.

 That is how that cycle went...