Continuing the story to baby #3.
I was keeping a private diary after I stopped blogging. But after IVF #5 was canceled, I stopped proactively talking to friends about TTC and I didn’t write as frequently. Due to this, a lot of the details are hazy.
Excerpt from my diary at the end of cycling. I wrote this the night before my retrieval:
I cried yesterday packing up my extra syringes to donate to my clinic… I cried because:
I don’t know if I can go through another IVF cycle…
After all my cycles, I’ve never felt like “this is it, this is all I got.” But I might be there now…
I have no clue if this cycle will result in my much wanted and much hoped for Baby #3… this is my 4th cycle trying for Baby #3. I’ve been trying since September and planning since June of last year when I started to wean L.
It’s been a year and still no baby.
I just don’t know if I can continue to do this financially… mentally… physically…
I’m hoping my Baby #3 is one of these beautiful follicles that I stimmed 16 days for… SIXTEEN!!!!!!!!!
It may be the hormones talking… or it may be just reality setting in. But I don’t know what to do after this cycle if it doesn’t work.
The details are so hazy... that I can’t even remember how many eggs they retrieved! I will need to look at my written notes to fill in the blanks. I do remember that 3 eggs fertilized and made it to day 4 (my clinic transfers on day 4). I had a choice to make at that point... 1) transfer 1, 2) transfer 2, or 3) transfer all 3. The suggestion was for me to transfer all 3. But, I couldn’t risk transferring 3 - can you imagine what could have happened? They said with my history and age, that the odds were that only one would take. Having 2 kids already, I just couldn’t take that risk.
There were 2 embryos that were the same grade and 1 that was better quality. (I’ll have to look at my notes later to fill in the gaps on what the quality was.) I ultimately decided to do a fresh transfer of the 2 embryos that were the same grade. I had read a few studies that said you can lower your chance of implantation by transferring two different graded embryos. Also, the better quality embryo had a higher chance of being frozen/thawed successfully and that the 2 lower quality embryos may not have made it. So, I opted to freeze the higher quality one. The two embryos I transferred:
Another note on this clinic, they did not suggest PGS testing for me. The RE doesn’t believe in the testing. He also said that I can risk damaging a potential normal embryo, that the costs of testing were not worth it (for my specific situation), especially since I’m a low responder to IVF and I wasn’t expected to get a lot of eggs/embryos.
The timing for this transfer were challenging, as I did the transfer prior to going on vacation. So, I found out it didn’t work while I was on vacation - which sucked. Which also meant I was doing all these medications while traveling. I’ll have to list my med protocols later, I have to find them! But I was on a blood thinner and I had horrible bruises on my tummy from it.
Recap:
- IVF 6 = 3 embryos
- Fresh Cycle of 2 embryos = didn’t work
- Final embryo = was frozen successfully
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