Tuesday, December 30, 2014

First Transvaginal Ultrasound & Bloodwork CD #2

I have to admit, I was a bit emotional today and worried about the ultrasound. This is my first period off of birth control & my "flow" is extremely light (sorry if this is TMI!). I was worried they wouldn't be able to do the tests and such. I had a dream trying to "will" my period to flow faster. LOL. I even called the doctor this morning to make sure it was OK for me to go in with such a light flow. 

In the exam room they have a board of all the babies that were born due to the assistance of the clinic...! I almost started crying thinking that my baby's picture would soon be on that board. I have to admit, this may be the first time all of this felt REAL - like it CAN and WILL happen. Not an "if" but a "when". 

We started off with the transvaginal ultrasound. There, they looked at the shape of my uterus. I actually SAW my uterus on the screen. So strange! It looked like a normal shape - to me! But I guess I'll find out more after my consult with my doctor. 

Then, we looked at each of my ovaries. The right ovary had *something* on the outside of it. Can't remember what it's called. Have to remember to ask. The doctor said it wasn't anything to worry about since it was outside of the ovary and not inside of it. Hmmmm..... The left ovary was hard to find and I felt a little discomfort from the probe. 

The good news (I hope - and will be confirmed when I have my consult after all these tests): is that I had 7-8 follicles in each ovary! This is supposed to be good. Now.... to know the "age" and quality of the follicles. Which is where all the blood work starts to play a factor. I had blood drawn. A lot....!!! I have a fear of needles, FYI - so this was no walk in the park. They are doing genetic testing if I'm a carrier fro cystic fibrosis or spinal muscular atrophy, hormone testing, and other things. Also, an HIV test. 

Next Steps/Next Week: 

  1. A sonohystereogram to look at the uterus (transvaginal ultrasound with water to look at uterus) in more detail.
  2. HSG Test: look at the fallopian tubes (X-ray test for fallopian tube patency) and see if they’re “open” and in good shape.

Two Weeks: a consult with my doctor… where I get all the results and HOPEFULLY get to order some donor sperm and have my first IUI (where they inject the sperm). This will most likely be in February since I will have already ovulated in January. 

As I was driving home, I cried... It's like going through this process is very emotional. I am going to have a baby!!!! :) I can't wait to start shouting it to the world. My baby.... it's so exciting and things have been going so well lately... I just can't wait. 

Monday, December 29, 2014

I got my period!

I got my period!!!!! I never get that excited about my period, accept for my very first one. LOL. What's great about it:
  1. It came on time! 
  2. It came by itself (no birth control & no triggers!) 
  3. I can schedule my next tests at the Fertility Clinic! YAY!!! 
I have been notorious for irregular periods every since I was in high school. This is my first period off the pill, so I was worried it wouldn't come on time and would delay my tests.

I go in tomorrow for two things: 
  1. Transvaginal Ultrasound $25
  2. Bloodwork $240 (hormones, genetic testing) 
A little weird to be excited, but this is GOOD news. By the end of January I should have all the test results and then can start my first round of IUI in February (hopefully!!!). There's still a lot to do before then, but I'm optimistic. 

I love checking off my "TO-DO" items and know that I am THAT much closer to having my baby :) 

My normal doctor is out this week, so I'll be seeing the other Doctor tomorrow. They said it's quick - only 15 minutes. After this --> more tests! Then, I'll finally know where I stand reproductively and if I'll need fertility treatments or anything else. 

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

High Risk Pregnancy Evaluation - Diabetes

I went to the High Risk Pregnancy folks that specialize in Diabetes care. I didn't realize how much it was going to cost $$$$$$!!! Luckily my deductible covered some of it. Sheesh.

We had a conversation on managing blood sugars during pregnancy and what happens to the baby if I don't.... It's pretty scary! Diabetes management is no joke. I'm aiming at regulating my glucose pre-pregnancy, so that it's easier to maintain while I'm pregnant.

Once pregnant, I'll have a regular OBGYN and then go to the diabetes doctor to mange the diabetes aspect of things. What's kind of cool is that they can do a genetic test at 10 weeks gestational AND find out the gender at that time too!!! That's really early. Since I'll be a "high risk pregnancy" these tests are covered by my insurance.

This whole process thus far has been joyful. Imagine at the end of all this, I'll be able to hold my little miracle in my arms <3

Next step here: follow-up appointment in January. I have to log my food and my glucose levels for 2 weeks straight and go back in to review.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Monthly Meeting with Case Manager

Quick Recap of my little guy's case: At the last court hearing in October, a relative was suggested in taking my foster son. This relative was considered before and was determined to not be the right place for him. Now, they were looking at this relative for the 3rd time!!

I was really nervous and scared that my little guy would be moved to this relative. For confidentiality purposes, I can't disclose much more info than that.

Today I met with my little guy's Case Manager. This was a BIG meeting for me because I was going to learn if the relative was approved to take my foster son. I had been on egg shells since the October court hearing just waiting - and waiting - and waiting - to see what would happen.

Turns out, the relative did not continue to follow through on some of the required screening in order to take custody of my foster son. The relative basically stopped returning calls and pursing things. Therefore, the relative is not being considered as a placement at this time...

This is good in many ways. First, I don't think it would be in my foster son's best interest to go to this relative. Second, he's been with me his entire life and does not have a relationship with this relative. Third, this relative has not made an effort to build a relationship with him and has known about him since he was born.

Another hurdle in his case. I swear, my heart just stops every time we are in court and I hear something *new* with them possibly moving him to an unsafe situation.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Sperm Banks Galore

I CHOSE A SPERM BANK!!! It wasn't easy. Have you seen the options out there?! My goodness. There are soon many options out there and it is hard to choose.

I chose: Seattle Sperm Bank

For Seattle Sperm Bank, they let you pay $50 and you have access to full profiles for 3 months! Very good deal compared to other sperm banks. Now, I'm narrowing down donors! Can't choose until after all my tests in January. Need my CMV results and such.

Factors in choosing a sperm bank:

  1. Open to contact / policy 
  2. Cost per vial / shipping 
  3. Sperm Count (minimum 10mil) 
  4. Offspring Limits 
  5. Types of Donor Screening 
  6. Variety of Donors 
I have to admit --- costs played a HUGE factor in picking. There's no way to know how many cycles I'll have to do before I get pregnant and I need something affordable. They also have a "donor of the month" where you buy 1 vial - get 1 free. Good deal considering the $$. 

If cost wasn't a factor, I may have gone for one of the bigger sperm banks as they have more of a selection. 

Who know sperm would be so expensive and such a market?! It was interesting to research it and read reviews. So crazy. 

Monday, December 8, 2014

Psychological Evaluation

I have to admit, I was nervous for the psych eval!!! It actually went relatively smoothly! The psychologist was excited for me, which made me even more excited to be on this journey :) 

It also made me realize just how far I've come with my past & how things don't hurt or bother me as much anymore. 

I felt wonderful leaving and knowing I've really thought this process through. I made the right decision to move forward with IUI. 

PROGRESS!!! 
  • Stop Birth Control Pills - DONE 
  • Start pre-natal vitamins - DONE 
  • Complete Psych Eval - DONE 
  • Select Sperm Bank - DONE 

Friday, November 14, 2014

1st Fertility Consultation!

Today I had my first consultation at a fertility clinic. I'm starting the process to do Artificial Insemination to have my own baby through donor sperm.

There was SO MUCH INFO!!!! What's needed of me to get pregnant:

  1. Sperm - FDA Licensed Sperm Bank - CMV (If I'm positive - use any donor - If I'm negative, only CMV- donor. 
  2. Eggs - Ovulating? Quality (age, ultrasound, hormones (FSH/LH/Estradid AMH). Check for PCOS. 
  3. Tubes - HSG Test
  4. Uterus - Ultrasound (size, fibroids), HSG (shape), sonohysterogram (poly/fibroid). 
We are going to try for a Natural Cycle IUI (intrauterine insemination). Basically, having washed sperm injected directly into the Uterus. Depending on test outcomes, will see if I have to have fertility drugs or triggers. Hoping not... but will see. 


I am so excited! Hoping to have a baby boy or girl by the end of 2015.

I have a lot that I need to do in order to get started:

  1. Meet with a high risk OBGYN to talk about Diabetes management. 
  2. Meet with a psychologist to discuss reasons and potential issues with pursing Artificial Insemination. 
  3. Try to get my weight down 
  4. Stop birth control pills (after package complete) 
  5. Start pre-natal vitamins (December)
  6. Get my period (without Birth Control!) -- CALL and schedule appointment 
  7. Do Testing and bloodworm -- Cycle Day (CD) #2 or #3. 
  8. Pick a Sperm Bank 
  9. Select a Donor 

Here's to hoping and praying for my Baby C!! <3

Monday, November 3, 2014

"Even miracles take a little time." - Cinderella

I'm starting this new journey... the journey to have a baby. A few things about me that make having a baby a bit "nonconventional":

  • I'm single 
  • I'm almost 35 (which is considered OLD in baby-making terms) 
  • I am going to pursue Artificial Insemination (AI) with donor sperm (which is controversial) 
  • Some obstacles: I'm overweight and diabetic. 
I guess this is my PLAN B! 

Plan A looked like this: meet a man, fall in love, get married, have babies, live happily ever after. That didn't work out - AT ALL. 

If I were to be honest, I've been thinking about Plan B for a very long time. Perhaps up to 10 years now. My "What If" scenario. I always knew it was an option and I've changed my mind so many times. Yes, I'll do it when I turn 33! No, I'll adopt instead! Yes, I'll do it when I turn 34! No, my religion doesn't support single woman getting pregnant out of wedlock. 

My mind has been spinning and spinning on YES-NO reasons for a long time. FINALLY, I'm at a place where everything feels right and everything is pointing towards YES, pursue it. 

Initially, I was going to pursue AI last year right before I turned 34. However, I'm a foster parent. In December 2013 I received a new foster placement. He was only 4 days old at the time and his case plan wasn't very clear. It did not look like good odds that he would be going back to his birth parents or birth family. Here we are, almost a year later and it is looking more and more like I'll be able to adopt him. It is WAY too early to say YES, I'll be able to adopt him and be 100% for sure. Foster Care cases go up and down all the time.... so, you never know. He is my 7th foster child and this is the first time that I may have a potential adoption... Well, when my little man came into my life - I decided to postpone pursuing AI to see how things played out with his case. Now, we're to the point where I can pursue AI and there's a clearer "end" to finding permanency for my little guy through adoption (by me -hopefully!). 

I'm in a good place. I feel good. I feel ready. Most importantly, this feels RIGHT. This blog will follow me through my journey, ups and downs (hopefully more UPS!) through the AI process. Additionally, I'll be using this blog to share my story of my foster son. Hopefully by the end of all this - I'll be holding my new baby in my arms and I'll be able to call my little guy my forever son :)