FET #1 Post Mortem Consult + IVF #3 Plan

I had my WTF post-cycle consult with my RE today.

Here's the plan: Fresh IVF+ICSI Cycle, Freeze All, PGS Test + 2 frozen from IVF #2.

1. May: Month Off - no fertility meds. I've been on fertility meds almost every month for over a year! Time to give my body a break, even if it's a short one. 
2. June: Prep for IVF #3. Call on CD #1. Need to get period by June 19th to make the July retrieval. 
3. July: retrieval the week of July 18-22. 
4. August: If everything goes well with testing and we have normal PGS tested embryos, prep for FET #2, call on CD #1. Possible endometrial scratch.  
5. September: FET #2 with Transfer ~ 9/22 

We went over my cycle stats and everything looked great, no way to know why the cycle didn't work. There are 3 reasons it wouldn't work: 1) Embryo Quality, 2) Endometrial not receptive, or 3) Error on the actual Transfer. My RE says it's most likely due to embryo quality.

So many possibilities. The statistics show that most likely its #1: Embryo Quality. Which is why we need to do the testing to determine how many of the embryos are genetically normal. For my age, I should have a 60-40 % change of having normal eggs. Out of my 4 eggs, 2 didn't take. So who knows if the 2 left over are genetically normal or not, without testing them first. 

We discussed ERA testing, but my RE doesn't think that's necessary at this time. Will see if we have to come back to this at a later date. 

I'm having an issue with my donor. They need a sperm sample to send with the embryo biopsies for the PGS testing. Well, my sperm donor is sold out... Trying to find out if they can do the testing without the sperm sample and I'm also reaching out to the sperm bank to see if they have any extras... If not, I don't know if we'll be able to test the 2 frozen embryos. It also means I'd have to choose a new sperm donor for IVF #3. 

I had my financial consult and the costs are pretty high. I'm looking at a little over 10K for just the fresh IVF cycle with ICSI and PGS testing. There's a cost to freeze/refreeze my existing embryos. That price tag though... that doesn't even cover the FET #2 that'll happen in September, which would be another 3K or so. 

The infertility money pit that keeps taking and taking and taking. 

I feel that this plan is pretty sound and it makes sense. I still have dreams of trying for another baby in a few years. Better to get embryos now at 36 vs trying at 38/39 where egg quality goes down further. It makes sense to test the eggs to prevent any transfers of genetically abnormal embryos. 

So although I know this all logically makes sense... It still sucks to have to go through all of this again. It's a HUGE price tag, a HUGE time suck, a HUGE emotional rollercoaster. 

I'm starting to consider if this will be "it" for me. I don't think I will have another round of IVF in me after this. I'll have to re-evaluate things depending on how many embryos come back genetically normal. I secretly fear that I'll have zero embryos that are normal... I pray that's not the case and that I'll have a good % of normals.

But after all this... I'm getting close to stopping. Or at least stopping for a little bit. It's just getting to be too much and a little too emotionally hard. Have to see how things play out. Right now, I'm committed to the plan... I'm taking the month of May off and will be focusing on one step at a time to get through IVF #3.