Saying Goodbye to Munchkin

I woke up this morning, like any other morning, & started my routine. For a few minutes I totally didn't register that Munchkin was leaving in a few short hours. I had packed him up last night and had a hard time sleeping. 

This morning, like any other morning, I got Munchkin and Little Guy up and ready. 

Munchkin did his normal "I'm awake!" squeals and giggles. 

He did his normal "I'm going to wrestle while you try to change my diaper." 

He did his normal, "I want to turn off the light and play with the switch" instead of getting dressed. 

He did his normal, "I'm going to eat my toothbrush instead of letting you brush my teeth" routine. 

After I put him in his high chair for breakfast, he did his normal "I'm going to scream and bang until I get my milk" routine.

When he was done eating, he did his normal drama of "I'm done! Get me out of my high hair NOW!" Whines and cries. 

Then Munchkin followed Little Guy around, like normal, annoying Little Guy. 

They fought over toys and chased each other around screaming for joy until it turned into screams of "mine!" 

Then his case manager came over, like normal, to pick him up to bring him to his birth parents. 

What was not normal was, the pile of his belongings waiting by the door. The fact that we were saying "goodbye" & "be safe" instead of "see you soon." The hugs were the last. The kisses were our last. 

When I placed him in the car seat, he cried and cried and cried - with real tears.  I wonder if he realized it was the last time we would see him? 

No, it wasn't a normal morning, although we did normal things... It was our last morning with Munchkin. 

I miss him already... And pray that he's safe and loved. 

This is the hardest part about being a foster parent -- saying that last goodbye and watching the car drive away knowing you'll never see your foster child again. 

Sad day today.