IVF #3 (Cycle 10): Stim Day #1

The day has quickly arrived for me to start stims! Since I'm doing my injections so early 5:30 am/pm, I still had to do them early today -- Sunday, even though it was the weekend.

I ended up laying out all my supplies the night before, so I wouldn't be scrambling in the morning. This seemed to work well for me, especially since I was a bit groggy this morning! 

The injection wasn't too bad, it actually is less painful than the Lupron needle. 

I had a bit of a lingering migraine after my morning injection. Not really sure if it's related to the stims or not? I'd have to read my previous blog entries to recall if I had migraines on stims previously. You'd think I would remember! But the truth is, all my cycles are a bit of a blur at this point. Looking at  my entry from IVF #1, looks like I had a headache on day 1 of stims as well. 

The evening injection was a little stressful because it was during the time that I was making dinner and prepping my meals for the week. But I got it done! Day #1 of stims completed. 

How am I feeling? 

I've been on this journey to have this baby for such a long time now... All I could really think is, I never thought it'd be so hard to build my family. It seems like such a far away dream to have this baby. I have doubts that it'll ever work. I have big hopes that it will. I'm trying my best not to have any expectations. Right now, I don't have any expectations of this cycle. There are so many steps to go before things will become clearer... 

Throughout my entire TTC journey, I've held onto my hope and love for my future child. I still have that today, maybe more so... Because of all the trials I've had to go through up to now. There's also something hanging in the air this cycle -- the end of TTC. Which brings so many conflicting feelings. 

Anyways... Here we go! Let's see how this cycle goes. 

Next Steps: 

• 7/14/16: Monitoring Appointment #1 - Ultrasound and Blood work.

For more info on my IVF cycle, check out my IVF Timeline. 

Budgeting Project: Teaching My Son About Money

Yup, at 2 1/2 years old I'm starting to teach my son about money. If you've been following my blog, I have been working the Dave Ramsey plan in my Budgeting Project. I'll be adding a "Kid" component to my blog.

Every since I was laid off in March, I've been pretty dedicated to getting out of debt. Not only that, but making sure I teach my kids about money. I don't want my kids to ever be in a position where they're drowning in debt like me. I want to teach them a way to manage their money and provide tools to be successful when they're adults. What they do then, will be up to them!

I decided to read the Dave Ramsey/Rachel Cruze Smart Money, Smart Kids book. I've finished lesson #1 and decided to implement some of their suggestions for 3-5 year olds with my son. 

I picked out a few chores he could do to earn "commission": 

1. Help feed the dog, water + food 
2. Help fold hand towels 
3. Help dust/clean 
4. Help empty small trashcans 

I do want to add that my son does a lot of house chores that I consider "part of the family" chores and not something I'm ever planning on paying for: 

• Putting clothes in hamper
• Making his bed 
• Cleaning up his toys 
• Setting the table 
• Putting his dishes in the dishwasher 
• Putting his dishes and cups away (after washed) 
• Putting his shoes away 

I bought a clear jar for him to put his money into, following the suggestions in the book. Made a big deal about him helping and presented him with a dollar each time. 

We went to Walmart and he picked out 2 cars that were $0.94 each. He even gave the cashier his money. 

Not sure if he's "getting" it, since it's just one day we've done this!  Will keep doing this and see how it goes. So far, I'm liking it and I think it'll teach him. It's more about me being intentional about it. 

Here's to trying to make positive changes to our family tree where money is concerned! 

IVF #3 (Cycle 10): Lupron Injections Begin + Sperm Arrived

Things are about to get busy with IVF, just started injections! 

7/5/16: Stopped Birth Control

I just have to note that I spotted a lot while on birth control. This happened to me in Novemeber 2015 when I was starting IVF #1 as well, but I don't think I wrote about it. I totally forgot that happened until it happened again this time. I don't like being on birth control, thankful to be done with it. 

I was a bit moody BEFORE I started the Lupron. Hoping that isn't a precursor for when I start stims! 

7/8/16 Start Lupron Injections 2x's a day

I started my Lupron Injections today. 2x's a day at 5:30 am/pm. As much as I have done injections, the first few I'm always a bit hesitant. First 2 shots are in the bag. 

Donor #5 Arrived

Received confirmation that Donor #5 arrived at my clinic. So, that's all ready to go... I had a bit of a minor "fear" that I only ordered 1 vial and kept thinking if I should've bought a 2nd vial "just in case" something goes wrong with the first one. I shouldn't be too nervous, I only had 1 vial last time and there weren't any issues. 

I can't believe I start stims in 2 DAYS! I'm not anxious yet... but I'm sure that'll change when stims start up. Things seem to be going so quickly now. 

Next Steps: 

• 7/10/16: Start Stims 
• 7/14/16: Monitoring Appointment #1 and Bloodwork 

For more on my IVF cycle, check out my IVF Timeline. 

Jobbing: Update on Routine and Job

The new job has been going well for the most part. Here's a quick update on how life has been on the new schedule.

Dealing with Difficult People

I've dealt with difficult people before, but there's one lady in particular at my new job that is straight up mean! Like obviously mean and rude. It got so bad that I actually spoke to her manager about it. I approached it in the following way, "I'm new here and I'm still getting used to everyone's personalities. I feel there's some hostility with XX and wasn't sure what to think about it."

Well, it turns out it's good I spoke to her manager (who is my peer and the one training me) about it. Turns out that this lady is mean to everyone, but she's especially mean to me because she's upset that I was hired in at a level above her. Like, really? Ugh. Petty work drama is not my thing. But honestly, my entire professional life I have never been treated so rudely by someone.

I try to keep my distance (as much as I can on a small team) and don't go to her for help now. It seems to be working ok lately.

The Routine

My routine has gotten a little better. I'm still not sleeping well, which really puts a hinder on things. But I think I've gotten the waking up 4am thing down. I've adjusted my bedtime, so I'm actually in bed by 8pm on most days. I'm just so tired, I'm useless and can't get anything done.

Dinner time has been working out OK. We mostly do a fruit cocktail-type dinner now-a-days. My son doesn't seem to want to eat anything else.

Meal planning has been going extremely well. I've been making just enough meals to make it through the week.

Laundry has been going OK. I've pretty much moved all my laundry to the weekends now, which works better for the new schedule and seems to be the only way that I can keep up with it.

House Chores have not been as easy to maintain. I do well with it when we don't have weekend activities. But, when we have weekend activities -- it's extremely difficult for me to get the house chores done. It's frustrating because I want my house to be maintained better. I'm learning to let go of my perfection and just doing what I can. House chores have been at the bottom of my priority list after laundry, dinner time, and meal planning.

Quality Time with my Son

Believe it or not, even though we have a shorter period together during the week - I feel like the time we spend together is better quality. I've been really focusing on connecting with him and making sure we do quality activities together at night time. That's been in the form of short games (he only has a 10-15 minute attention span) and story time before bed. I've also been having him help me with preparing dinner. He helps wash the fruit off :)

It's sometimes hard at the end of the day to stay engaged when I'm so tired, but I make it a priority. I'm doing all I'm doing for him. The least I can do is spend some QT with him and make sure the long hours don't impact my connection with him.

Sleep and Working Out 

As I've mentioned, my sleep is horrible. I toss and turn all night. I wear my Fitbit Charge HR to bed and I can see how horrible my sleep patterns are. So, even though I'm going to sleep at a decent hour and I'm exhausted-- I'm not getting quality sleep. I've tried a few different things: 1) going to sleep earlier, 2) buying a new pillow, 3) setting the AC temp lower. Nothing seems to be working.

I was hoping to start adding in a workout in the morning, but it's so hard when I'm so groggy from lack of sleep. Now, I'm starting my IVF Cycle #3 - so I can't really start right now anyways (they don't want you doing vigorous exercise while stimming). But I have to do SOMETHING!

I've been trying to get up at work every hour and walk around. I also have added some desk stretches. But even with that, my # of steps aren't much. I'm just not moving enough. I really want to make this a priority because I love how I feel when I workout. BUT, the time crunch is a real thing. There really aren't enough hours in the day.

I know theoretically if I work out, I'll probably sleep better. But crawling out of bed groggy at 4am right now, not sure I have it in me to crawl out of bed at 3/3:30am and actually workout!

I know I have to make it a priority. I'm trying my best. After I'm finished with IVF#3, I'll try to make a better effort and see if I can make progress with this.

So, overall things are going well at the new job. The schedule/routine is working out pretty solid. I'm getting more flexibility where I can work from home a few days a week. Which will hopefully help with the time crunch.

IVF #3 (Cycle 10): Donor #5

I had a bit of dilemma when entering into IVF #3, Donor #4 I used for IVF #2 does not currently have any vials available. This was hard for me when deciding to move forward with IVF #3 because that means I'd have to use a new donor. Meaning, my 2 embryos from IVF #2 will have a different donor than any embryos from IVF #3.

Normally, I'm not that attached to my donors (after donor #1 that is). However, since I already have 2 embryos... I would have really liked to have all my embryos have the same donor. I guess I won't really know how it'll all play out until after we see what happens with IVF #3 and then receive the PGS results. I'll be honest though, that depending on how the PGS results turn out - the donor with the most normal PGS embryos will be the batch of embryos I choose to transfer. Not to jump too far ahead... fingers crossed I have a good egg retrieval - then that they make it to blast - then that they come back PGS normal - and survive freeze and all that. So many steps. Nonetheless, it's hard not to think about it.

Ideally, having one donor would have been better. Now, I'll have embryos from 2 different donors...

Choosing Donor #5 wasn't very difficult. I narrowed it down a month ago when I was considering moving forward with the cycle. I have to admit, I did less screening as I've done in the past. Not sure it really matters all that much anymore? I remember feeling so conflicted when I ordered Donor #1 and it took me a long time to pick a donor. I guess since none of those donors have "worked" and nothing has worked in this TTC process, the stress of picking a new donor is way down on my list of worries.

This time, I did have a small conflict between two donors that I liked. But I stuck with the one I already vetted.

Donor #5 will be arriving on 7/8!

For more on my IVF cycle, check out my IVF Timeline. 

IVF #3 (Cycle 10): Big Box of Meds Arrived

My big box of IVF #3 meds arrived today! I remember when my first box of meds arrived for IVF #1 and how overwhelmed I felt. What is also funny is that I DID have drama ordering my IVF meds this first time, I just didn't remember that until I re-read that entry. Funny how memory works sometimes.

This time when I received my IVF meds, it was like nothing. Interesting how easy you can adapt to IVF. It's all "crazy big IVF" to begin with. Now, it's just another cycle.

My meds: 

I was actually missing 1 med, the Zithromax Tri-Pak. When I called they said they don't carry it... Which is funny because I've ordered it from them directly 3x's prior. Tsk tsk. When I submitted my order the other day they included it. They really should call and say, "We weren't able to order XX." Alas, customer service is dead at some companies. They're lucky I wasn't PO'd this time, since I don't need that med till later. I put in a message to my RE to see if they can send a new script to my local pharmacy. It was so quick, that my order was ready within 30 minutes of sending the email request to my RE's office. Now, THAT is customer service. 

Other than that, everything was there. I ordered my Microdose Lupron. It'll arrive on Wednesday.

I'm not feeling much emotion over the cycle yet. But it seems to always start out that way. Once the medications start, things change. I have to say, I do think it's the hormones that make things so wacky with IVF. I mean, there is also the emotional side of TTC of course... but the meds just escalate those feelings a million-fold. Logistically, it'll be different doing stims this cycle because I commute to work. I have to decide on a time I can consistently do my injections. I have a morning shot and then 12 hours later I have my evening shot. Right now, I'm thinking 5:30am and 5:30pm. Have to see if that works as mornings are hectic. I figure if I'm +/- 15 minutes from those times, I should be fine.

I still need to order donor sperm... which is on my agenda this weekend. I already chose the donor, it's just a matter of doing the order.

Right now, still excited about this cycle. I actually can't believe I'm doing this again... I was thinking the other day that I've been on this journey since November 2014! I can't believe it's been that long and I can't believe I have not gotten pregnant through 6 IUI's, 1 fresh transfer, and 1 FET. I thought I'd have my baby by now... I really did. I had no clue this journey would be so long and so difficult.

Well, here's to hoping I'm closer to the dream of Baby C.

Next Steps:

• 7/5/16: Stop Birth Control Pills
• 7/8/16: Start Lupron 
• 7/10/16: Day #1 of Stims 

For more on my IVF cycle, check out my IVF Timeline. 

Gratitude: June 2016

Has a month ever zoomed by and at the end of the month you wonder, "where did the month go?" More and more my months are going like that. June 2016 was very much like that. I felt extremely "busy." Still trying to focus on my Gratitude project, I ran into a little hinderance. I think my son accidentally deleted my recurring reminder to add to my gratitude list! I was so busy, that I didn't even notice it was gone. Oops. So, I missed a few weeks in there. But here is what I got:

• My last day with Munchkin 
• Making sure Munchkin had a smooth transition 
• Starting to get more comfortable at work 
• Getting a new cleaning schedule down 
• Being able to carpool to work 
• Making headway with my retirement planning 
• My Fitbit Charge HR 
• New work clothes 
• Taking a strengths finder test 
• Attending a team builder event 
• Learning how to deal with new toddler testy behavior 
• Cooking new easy meals that turn out yummy
• My Fitbit silent alarm 
• Going to sleep early  
• Getting new dresses! 
• Baby carriers 
• Starting a new IVF cycle 
• Going to the movies with my son 
• Not hitting traffic when driving home from work 
• Making holiday plans 
• My severance check 
• Discount on the Ramsey Smart Money Smart Kids package 
• Big Brother! It's just entertainingly addictive.