There are a lot of frustrating things that happen with foster care. One of those can be visitations. Today was not a good day for Little Miss. Due to some changes in the agency that supervises her visitations, there was a delay in visits for almost 3 weeks. It's sad when that happens for the birth family and for the foster child.
Little Miss had her first visit today after almost 3 weeks of no visits. Prior to the visit, I was just thinking "Wow, look how well she's doing! She hasn't had a tantrum in so long, I can't even remember the last time she had a tantrum." I was also thinking about how far she's progressed verbally and physically. She's been doing amazing.
Then, the visit happened. I get an overtired child back that's an emotional mess. Then, she has the worse tantrum she's had in weeks... Can you imagine being a 2 year old and not having the words to express your feelings? It breaks my heart to see her progress so far and then to see a breakdown in her emotional state like this. This has to have been one of the worse tantrums I've seen from her, probably since she's lived with me... It was really bad.
I don't know what the answer is to any of this. Signing up to being a foster parent, you kind of know you're going to experience things like this. The foster care system is completely broken in my state. But also, visitations are needed to keep the birth family and the child connected. It would just be nice if there wasn't such an emotional component for the child or some way to make it OK for them.
As the foster parent, it's hard to "parent" these things as well. I constantly worry if my parenting style is being helpful or more harmful. Luckily we are getting services in place for Little Miss that should help her through this.
Today was a tough day...
On another note, I did have fun spending some 1x1 time with Little Guy. His idea of fun at the park is: not playing at the park - but looking at the flowers and walking everywhere that is not the playground! He also is practicing his dramatic tantrums -- arching back and falling to the floor style. He stopped that after he got some "sand" on his hands and the landing wasn't as soft as at home! He also was practicing saying "HI" with a cute little wave as people walked by :) Love watching him develop and grow socially. I even love his little tantrums. Probably because he starts laughing once he's on the floor - silly boy. I'm working REALLY hard not to laugh when he does this, because although it's so darn cute - I don't want to encourage the behavior. Even on a rough day, Little Guy still manages to bring joy to the day.
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