Breach of Confidentiality

Out of 8 foster children, this is the first time my personal information has been breached.

I receive letters from Little Guy's birth mother and she referred to me with my first AND last name. This is not good... This makes it easier for her to locate my residence. I am really upset about this & am now considering long-term if maybe we should move out of the state. There are safety concerns... 

After I adopt him, I'm considering changing Little Guy's first name... I didn't want to do that. His name totally fits him! But it'll be really easy to find him. I'm considering changing his first name to his middle name... 

Unfortunately there's nothing we can do at this point, it's done. I have asked that they try and find out how she found out my last name -- so that it doesn't happen again to another foster parent. 

I met with the new Case Manager, #3. She seems ok, a bit "self-focused" in a way. She was very quick to complain about her income and job. Odd at a first meeting... But she did say she doesn't think the case plan will change back to family reunification... That the case report lists me as the "permanent placement" for Little Guy. This is huge and the first time it's been put in any court records. 

The parent aide, #3 as well, that I complained about in a previous post... Had nothing to say but "praise" the birth father for how well he parents during the 2-hour supervised visits... All in the court reports. Interesting. The parent aide, #2, that was on the case for a year -- had opposite comments... Yet, she's on the case for 3 weeks and it's "praise". Odd. 

It's tough reading through the letters from his Birth Mother. She writes to him and some of the things she writes... They're just not in his best interest at times. She also still thinks that he's going to "go back to family" where "he belongs." 

I'm saving all her letters to give to Little Guy when he's at an age to digest/understand things. I worry about this, as some of it may make him feel guilty. I don't want that for him... But I also don't want to hold any of his story back from him. He has a right to know... when he's ready -- he will get all the info with no filters. He deserves that much. 

<sigh> 

As much as I feel her pain and she's missing out on this amazing child... The other part of me wishes she would do what's best for him & relinquish her parental rights. Dragging this out isn't good for him & right now there's zero chance for them to get him back. Plus, she's in this predicament because of her choices... 

I just wish that Litte Guy's needs & best interest came first. Which, hopefully soon it will - once rights are severed and adoption is finalized. The trial can't come soon enough... 5 more weeks!