I had my monitoring appointment this morning. Things didn't go well, this IVF Cycle is cancelled. They didn't see any growth in my follicles, most were under 10 mm. Only 1 in my right ovary, but was still small. Then 2 in my left ovary, which were also small. The largest one was in my left ovary and hadn't grown since Sunday.
Originally, I thought I'd be able to convert the IVF to an IUI. But the RE said there were no viable follicles to do that. With the largest one not growing, it probably does not have an egg in it and the others are so small. So, no IUI.
Of course, after Sunday I knew the cycle could be cancelled. But I thought that I'd be able to convert to an IUI. So, I was really bummed from that. I cried again, but this time was able to hold it until the end. The nurse gave me a hug and the entire staff looked so sad for me. They have all been rooting for me over the last year. I really like the staff there.
But here I am... a cancelled IVF cycle. So crazy. I didn't think of this as a possibility when I started this whole thing. I was entirely too optimistic. Almost like with my IUI's, I was sure that I would get pregnant within 6 cycles. This journey has had so many bumps in the road for me. Who knew it would be so difficult and hard and long to have a baby :(
I think I processed the possibility of the cycle being cancelled on Sunday and was prepared for a bad outcome for today. I've been so busy with other things that I haven't had a quiet moment to really process this loss. Now, I'm faced with new choices:
1) Take a break from TTC or
2) Move forward with another IVF cycle under a different protocol.
I guess technically there's a third:
3) Stop TTC all together.
For now, that's not an option... I just can't stop right now.
I have a consult with my RE next Wednesday and will see what he says/suggests.
I feel a little numb about the entire thing. On Sunday it was devastating news. Today, it felt inevitable and numbing. Ugh. Not to mention that things get so much more complicated after this, as I will be back to work next month - can I make the monitoring appointments? Will I need to use vacation time? What if this happens again? When do I stop trying? How much more can I put my body through? <sigh>
I've decided to wait until my discussion with the RE to decide anything. Right now I'm thinking going forward with another IVF cycle is what I want to do. Have to look at the timing and everything... Let's see what is to come.
Originally, I thought I'd be able to convert the IVF to an IUI. But the RE said there were no viable follicles to do that. With the largest one not growing, it probably does not have an egg in it and the others are so small. So, no IUI.
Of course, after Sunday I knew the cycle could be cancelled. But I thought that I'd be able to convert to an IUI. So, I was really bummed from that. I cried again, but this time was able to hold it until the end. The nurse gave me a hug and the entire staff looked so sad for me. They have all been rooting for me over the last year. I really like the staff there.
But here I am... a cancelled IVF cycle. So crazy. I didn't think of this as a possibility when I started this whole thing. I was entirely too optimistic. Almost like with my IUI's, I was sure that I would get pregnant within 6 cycles. This journey has had so many bumps in the road for me. Who knew it would be so difficult and hard and long to have a baby :(
I think I processed the possibility of the cycle being cancelled on Sunday and was prepared for a bad outcome for today. I've been so busy with other things that I haven't had a quiet moment to really process this loss. Now, I'm faced with new choices:
1) Take a break from TTC or
2) Move forward with another IVF cycle under a different protocol.
I guess technically there's a third:
3) Stop TTC all together.
For now, that's not an option... I just can't stop right now.
I have a consult with my RE next Wednesday and will see what he says/suggests.
I feel a little numb about the entire thing. On Sunday it was devastating news. Today, it felt inevitable and numbing. Ugh. Not to mention that things get so much more complicated after this, as I will be back to work next month - can I make the monitoring appointments? Will I need to use vacation time? What if this happens again? When do I stop trying? How much more can I put my body through? <sigh>
I've decided to wait until my discussion with the RE to decide anything. Right now I'm thinking going forward with another IVF cycle is what I want to do. Have to look at the timing and everything... Let's see what is to come.
Next Steps:
- 12/16/15 @ 9:15 am: IVF #1 Post Mortem Discussion and Next Steps
For more details on my IVF #1 process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.
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