Friday, September 30, 2016

FET #2 (Cycle 11): Beta #1, a "little" pregnant?

I don't know what I expected from my Beta Results. I wanted a good, strong, number. But I had to keep in mind that I was only 8dpt5dt, so more like 13 days vs the 14 days. The one day can make a difference on HCG levels or so I tell myself. I wanted to keep my emotions in check. I was hoping for a beta of over 50, but if I was lucky in the 100's. Anything over 50 is what my clinic likes to see. Anything between 5-25 is iffy and most likely not a viable pregnancy (although there are always exceptions to the rule).

Talk about the longest day EVER! Waiting from my 8am blood draw until 2:11pm to get the phone call was excruciating. I swear, I was so tempted to POAS all day just to relieve the pressure and anxiety from waiting.

I will say that I did POAS this morning and the FRER line was as light as it was yesterday. It had me fearing the worse - that this would end up being a chemical pregnancy.

The Beta Results Call

Can I be honest and say that I've waited so long and imagined the day that I would receive a phone call from my RE where he would tell me, "You're pregnant!" with excitement versus the dreaded and somber, "I'm sorry... Blah blah blah" speech. Which after this long I think is just as disappointing and frustrating for me as it is for my RE!

I've dreamt about that moment and how I would feel hearing those coveted words from my RE. How those words can completely change the course of my life and realize this beautiful dream of adding a child to our family.

The call came and guess what, it wasn't my normal RE that called! He was on vacation! LOL. The other RE called. He said, "Your negative streak is over, you had a positive pregnancy test!" I'm not sure if he expected me to be excited and not sure if he was going to give me my HCG number or not... but I asked right after he said that. Turns out my beta is a 30.

That's low... it's really low.

I was told to continue PIO shots, estrogen patches, the vaginal estrace. Then I was to add 1 progesterone suppositories in the morning. More progesterone... yay?

I then had my next beta scheduled for Monday, 10/3. This next beta is REALLY important. There are success stories out there for women that have had low betas and now have children. But there are also a lot of stories of women with low betas that end in chemical pregnancies. The interesting thing about IVF is that chemical pregnancies happen a lot more often than people know. They just don't know they're having them, because it's so early they didn't even think of taking a pregnancy test or weren't trying in the first place. With IVF, you know exactly where you are the process and what to look for and how a faint line means HCG hormone. But then you're also left with knowing when something happens really early, that maybe you would've never known about if you weren't doing IVF.

Anyways. Monday's beta will tell part of the story. The HCG hormone is supposed to double every 36-72 hours, that happens in 85% of normal pregnancies. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule - as always. But a good doubling is really what I'm hoping for... or a tripling!!! If it was 30 today, I would hope for something 60 or over. If it stays the same or goes lower, then that's not good.

Feelings? 

I'm preparing myself for the worse... but really hoping and praying for the best! I just need to keep things realistic and not put myself in a bubble. It's a fine line balancing: optimism with realism. The good news is: I'm a little pregnant... right now. This is the furthest I've ever gotten in 11 cycles. That's huge and means that I can indeed get pregnant, which was one of my biggest concerns in having zero pregnancies.

I really want this to be "it." I've been through so much with TTC, it'd be so very nice to have things go as planned for once... <sigh> It's hard going through all of this and each turn it's another dead end.

I'm just praying that God will bless us with this baby. It's all out of my hands right now and there's nothing I can do to influence what's going to happen.

Will see what Monday brings.



Next Steps: 
  • 10/3/16: Beta #2 
Click the hyperlink for more details on FET #2IVF Cycles, or TTC journey.

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