IVF #2 (Cycle 8): Cyst is Non-Functioning

I received some GOOD news today: The cyst is non-functional. Meaning, that it's not producing any hormones and it will NOT interfere with my IVF Cycle.

Right now, this IVF Cycle has been GREEN Lighted.

I still need to have my ultrasound next week to see if it has gotten smaller. There is a slight possibility they may need to drain the cyst, as it can interfere with other follicles developing (possibly). That decision will be made at the ultrasound appointment.

Now, what the heck does "Drain the Cyst" mean and what's the process? I don't know. I don't want to know. I will not Google it. I will not search for anything on the web. I don't want to freak myself out! I will wait and see. Once the decision is made if this drainage thing needs to happen, then I'll deal with it then. No need to stress myself out about it right now! There's already so much to stress and worry about in this process. It'll be hard, but I will resist the Google-verse lure.

This is really good news! At least I know I'll be able to start Stims. It'll just be a matter of how I react to the medications this go-around that will determine how far I get in the process this time.

But still, GOOD news! :)

I'm trying not to let myself "stress" so much this cycle. It's really hard NOT to stress out about every single thing. I didn't realize how much I wanted this cycle to happen until they said "green light" and I thought, "WOOHOO!" I felt a little lighter with that knowledge that the cyst won't be a stopping point.

Next Steps: 

1. Order Lupron from Pharmacy 
2. Tuesday, February 2 @ 3:00 p.m. Follow-up Ultrasound to look at the Cyst 
3. Thursday, February 4: Start Lupron 
4. Saturday, February 6: Start Stims 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

IVF #2 (Cycle 8): Sticker Shock + Cyst

I had my "sign my life away" meeting with my RE this morning. I was there for over an hour since there was a lot to cover, including:

1. Ultrasound and Bloodwork 
2. Go over medications, IVF documents, sign-sign-sign consent forms 
3. Pay my Bill 

Ultrasound and Bloodwork 

Not the best news, but the cysts is STILL there. There's a possibility that we may have to delay my IVF cycle until March. It all depends on how my blood work comes back and how my follow-up ultrasound goes. We scheduled another monitoring appointment for next Tuesday (2/2) to have another ultrasound and see if it gets smaller. The good news is, it did get smaller from my baseline monitoring appointment on 1/4. The bad news is, it should have went away by now. It's been there since December. So, I guess we'll see what happens.

Signing Forms 

It's a bit tedious having to go over the exact same forms that I went over with them just last cycle. I had to re-sign every single document and go through every single step of the process. I guess I shouldn't complain, I'm glad they're thorough - but it was time consuming. Better more info than less, right?

Pay My Bill 

This was totally unexpected. I just switched insurance providers. Before I switched, I checked to make sure that my clinic was covered under the new insurance provider. They are. The problem is: their laboratory is NOT covered by my insurance......... <sigh>

That means I have to pay out of pocket fees for the laboratory fees, then submit receipts to the insurance for "out of network" benefits..... <sigh>

Also, they're having issues getting the approvals for my cryo preservation, which should be covered.... <sigh>

So, instead of paying $2-3,000. I had to pay closer to $5,000..... Ugh. Here's the cost breakdown:

Breakdown	Cost	Notes
Lab Fees	$3,965.00	Lab not contracted through new insurance. Will need to submit reimbursement at the end.
ICSI	$1,525.00
Cryo Preservation	$500.00	Received letter from insurance that this should be covered. Need to provide copy to RE.
Deductible	$500.00
Co-Insurance	$700.00
Total IVF #2 Costs	$7,190.00
Credit with Clinic	$1,607.24	Credit Might be Higher Later, still waiting for 2015 insurance to settle my claim.
Owe	$5,582.76
3% CC Charge	$167.48
Total Due	$5,750.24

This will eventually get worked out and I should be able to get some of the money back. Since the lab is not covered, that means the funds going towards that will go towards the "out of pocket - out of network" bucket, instead of the "in network" bucket. That has a higher rate. So, instead of meeting my deductible and the insurance covering 80/20, I have to pay 100% for some of the stuff. It's so annoying and lame and frustrating.

It also made me really worried. If this cycle doesn't work, I'm not going to be able to afford another full cycle for at least a few months. It just feels like a lot is now riding on whether this cycle works or not. There are just too many moving pieces to feel confident that the cycle will work, it almost feels like this cycle is doomed for failure (as much as I hate to type that).

There's that nasty cyst that doesn't want to go away. What happens if it doesn't go away? 

Will I respond to the meds this time? 

Will they be able to retrieve enough eggs? 

Will any of these eggs be mature? 

Will the eggs fertilize? 

Will the embryos develop to make it to transfer? 

Blah. This process doesn't get easier. It just doesn't. It feels like it's one obstacle after the next after the next. 

I had a friend tell me, "You have to think positive!" It's so hard to think positive all the time. Nothing seems to be going right with trying to have this baby. Infertility is no joke. It's been a year of disappointments.

Do you get your hopes up for success - just to fall right back down if you're not pregnant? 
If you expect it to be negative, are you putting bad juju out there to make it turn into a true negative? 

Ugh. It would just be nice if things went smoothly for once and if the endless Infertility hole stopped sucking up my money. Really, I'm supposed to be on the Dave Ramsey plan! Ugh. You know what he'd say, "Don't do it until you can pay cash." I wish I could stop, but that darn biological clock is ticking slowly away and my infertility problems aren't going to get any better if I wait longer... 

Next Steps: 

1. Tuesday, February 2 @ 3:00 p.m. Follow-up Ultrasound. IF I get the green light, then: 
2. Thursday, February 4: Start Lupron 
3. Saturday, February 6: Start Stims 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

IVF #2 (Cycle 8): Acupuncture + Medication Order #1 Arrived

Acupuncture

I wasn't sure if I was going to do acupuncture again. But since I never really got to complete my first IVF Cycle, I thought I should give it a try this go-around. I went back to my acupuncturist last weekend. It's a little tricky scheduling time to go to an appointment since I have to get childcare for my boys while I go (I can only go on the weekends). Luckily a friend was available to watch the boys. I will most likely go weekly until Egg Retrieval. It's an investment, but I'm hoping it pays off. Next appointment is this Saturday.

Medication Order #1 

I received my confirmation call from the pharmacy on 1/19. I was surprised at the low co-pay for my medications. Got to love having infertility coverage from my insurance! Only perk about having the diagnosis of "Unexplained Infertility."

I received my medication shipment today.

The Box

Just in case you forget

Meds

It wasn't as overwhelming receiving the medications this time, which I guess is good. Time feels like it's moving pretty slow to get to stims. Two more weeks to go before I start Lupron. I'm trying to set my expectations accordingly, just in case things turn out the same as they did for IVF Cycle #1... But at the same time, I'm not really feeling stressed about it right now. I'm sure that'll change as I get closer to stuff. Right now, I'm just going with the flow. It'd be nice if the stim medications didn't make me highly emotional, it would be nice to ride this calm wave through the entire cycle! 

The one thing that's bothering me is, I haven't received the cost breakdown from my clinic. I should have some left over funds in my account since I didn't finish IVF Cycle #1. Payment is due Monday... it would be nice to know what I will be expected to pay so I can budget for it or see if I can swing it with my FSA.

Next Steps: 

1. 1/23/16 @ 2:00 p.m.: Acupuncture Appointment 
2. 1/25/16 @ 10:30 a.m.: Injections Training, Payment Due, Ultrasound, and Blood Work 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Budgeting Project: Refinancing my House

I meant to post this last month, but totally forgot! I've been working on refinancing my house since October. Every since I attended the Dave Ramsey Smart Conference last year, I've been trying to focus on my Budgeting Project and getting better with spending money.

The process to refinance my house took longer than I expected, but it also went more smoothly than I expected.

When I originally bought my house, I bought it before the market dropped. So I bought "high" AND my house loan was on a 5-year fixed ARM. When the market plummeted, I went quickly under water on my house. I refinanced my house after 2 years to get on a 30-year fixed loan. The ARM loan scared me after the housing market dropped. However, when I refinanced the interest rate wasn't at the lowest.

Once I heard that the Fed would be raising the interest rates, I knew I had to refinance while the rates were still low. So, I jumped right on it.

Since I'm trying to follow the Dave Ramsey plan, they were trying to get me on a 15 year house loan. The problem with the 15 year:

1. It would increase my current mortgage +$200. 
2. I would have to pay out-of-pocket for a house appraisal +$500 

The whole idea around refinancing my house was to save money monthly. It's not like the extra $200 would kill me... but, it defeats the point of trying to pay down my debt. That's money that could go towards my student loans + credit card debt. 

I quickly decided against that. 

Then, we looked into a 20 year house loan. Ran into the same problem. It would still increase my monthly mortgage and I would have to do a house appraisal. 

Now, the interest rate was LOW if I went with the 15- or 20- year house loans. Like, by a lot! But I really do have to focus on getting my debt down, so I opted to forgo these options. 

Then, it was looking at doing another 30 year fixed. The interest rate went down over a point and my monthly mortgage went down over $100/month. I did have some closing costs, some of which I paid out of pocket for, but it wasn't much. 

I expected to get a better interest rate than what I received, but it is what it is!

The paperwork wasn't painless... but it wasn't too crazy. The mortgage company did a lot electronically and I got to sign paperwork electronically as well.

For closing costs, someone came to my home and we signed all the paperwork and I received a CD with the paperwork as well. What was nice is: they printed it on 8.5x10 paper instead of legal paper! Easier filing!

All in all, it took me about 2 months to refinance my house. It would've went faster if I responded quicker to getting some of the requested paperwork. It was relatively painless.

I'm hoping that when I get to the Baby Step #6, I can actually pay off my mortgage. One step at a time though! For now, with the refinance of my house I can put the extra money towards paying off my other debt and continue working on Baby Step #2. Slowly but surely, I hope to make it through these baby steps.

It's almost like I can imagine being at Baby Step #7...! Focus-focus-focus!

FPU: Session #1

I bit the bullet and enrolled in a local Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University (FSU). I've been listening to Dave Ramsey's talk show on the radio for a few years now. I also attended his Smart Conference last year. However, I never really considered signing up and joining FSU.

Why?

I guess I thought "I could do it on my own!" and "Why pay extra money to take a class when I can read the book?"

Truth be told, even though I read his book and attended his conference - I haven't really made the necessary changes to get out of debt. Yes, I've made small changes and started really focusing on it with my budgeting project. But the small changes haven't really been cutting it.

The big change for me is my adoption of Little Guy. What I want for my son:

• Be smart about finances
• I want to be able to provide a college fund 
• I don't want to struggle with debt while he's growing up 

To help my son be smarter about finances, I realized *I* need to be smart about my finances. I picked up on a lot of bad money habits from my parents. 

I want to provide my son with a descent college fund. But how can I do that if I am forever paying MY student loans off and accumulating more credit card debt. 

I want to be able to provide experiences for my son. But I can't do that if I'm living paycheck to paycheck and struggling with my debt. 

That was my turning point where my finances were concerned. Being single, some of the challenges are: being held accountable and having discipline in my spending. I always knew this, but thought I would be able to "do it myself." But the truth is -- I haven't been successful and now, I need to make major changes! 

So, I enrolled in Financial Peace University (FSU) at my church. 

We had our first class last night. I really like it! I feel motivated, I feel like I can do this, and I have a VISION of what life can be like debt free. 

I know it's going to be a long journey, there will be ups and downs along the way. But I'm really going to FOCUS on one step at a time. Right now, I'm on Baby Step #2 - the Debt Snowball. I'll be here for awhile, I know. I just added up all my debts.... I have to say -- It's overwhelming! Like by a lot. But what was interesting is -- once I saw the NUMBER and the AMOUNT of debt that I have, it made me want to attack it quickly! 

With the motivation, right now the FOCUS. Before I can really tackle my debt snowball, I have to BUDGET. I've been pretty good about tracking expenses the last few months, but the budget has been a little variable. I haven't been really focusing on "sticking to the budget". I blame it on the holidays and such! But, what's the use of the budget if you're overspending in some categories? 

I'm happy I signed up for FSU and I'm hoping at the end of this, I can call Dave Ramsey and say that I'm debt free! 

Focus-focus-focus. Baby Step #2 - Debt Snowball. 

2015 Holiday Season Celebrations

I have to say, the holiday season was extremely BUSY! Being a child, you don't really appreciate how much the adults do to "make Christmas happen". As an adult, and single mom, I now understand just how much effort and time and dedication goes into making the holidays actually happen! 

What was amazing and fun about this Christmas season is that my son is officially mine! It was our first Christmas as a Forever Family. With that in mind, I thought it would be great to start Family C Holiday traditions this year, since my son is now getting old enough to really understand things. 

Here are a few of the traditions that we did in 2015, some new - some we've been doing for the past years. 

Advent Candles 

This is a NEW tradition. During the month of December, I normally travel out of town. So, I haven't really stayed put all month long. This year, it was different - where we didn't go on vacation in December. Which I have to admit, was really-really nice. I'm now thinking that maybe we'll stay home in December for future years... we shall see. 

Since we were home from the start of Advent, I thought it was a great time to start using my advent wreath/candles/book. I'll admit, I've had my Advent wreath for YEARS and haven't used it most of the years I've had it. 

Every night we lit a candle and read from the book. My son is only 2 and didn't really "get it". But I'm hoping that as the years go by, it'll become customary and he'll start to "get it" as he gets older. My son's favorite part was blowing out the candles :) My favorite part was starting prayer with my son. From the start of this, we now have made it a habit to pray before meals together. 

Photos with Santa

We did the whole Santa picture thing at our local Bass Pro Shop. It was crowded, but nice. Who knew Bass Pro Shop had so much for little kids to do?! 

The actual pictures didn't turn out too good! Both boys were not Santa fans. Santa seemed fragile - like old... And not very friendly! I love the Santa they had at Disney World last year, best Santa I've ever seen. It was funny because both boys looked "concerned" when they sat on Santa's lap! But the good thing is, neither boy cried :) Last year, my son was so scared of Santa. 

Christmas Lights 

There's a neighborhood over by our house that does the "big" Christmas lights show. It's pretty cool because it's just a bunch of neighbors that do it. They close off the streets, you park at a local elementary school and walk the entire thing. They even have shuttle service for times where it's really crowded and people have to park further away. 

Although it's really close to my house, I've never gone! Just seemed like a hassle when you have small children. So, this is a NEW tradition for us that I want to continue doing for years to come. It was so much fun walking the street with the boys and looking at all the creative and festive decorations. My son has always been fascinated with lights, so he was very 'serious' about examining all the displays. Munchkin slept most of the time and I just carried him in the Tula Carrier. 

They had hot chocolate and snacks at some of the houses, which was really nice of them. They also do a toy collection.

All in all, a really good time for us!

Annual Christmas Celebration

One of my close friend's has an annual Christmas Celebration at her house. This is the same friend that we spend Thanksgiving with and my kids call her Grandma. I'm so grateful that she includes us in her family holiday traditions. It's so nice to watch my kids enjoy experiencing a "big family" for the holiday celebrations. Especially since my birth family is so small and we are not very close.

Here were our yummy stocking stuffer treats that my friend made for all the grand kids:

Countdown to Christmas Links

I was back and forth if I would start the Christmas links this year with my son. I did Christmas links with my first foster daughter in 2011 and haven't really done them since. She was 4 at the time and she really liked it. Since then, I haven't really had kids that were old enough to enjoy it or were too old to want to do it. 

With my son being so young, I decided to do a 5 day countdown! He liked it! Next year, we'll add more links to countdown. So this one is "old" but "new" tradition. 

Gingerbread Train 

I never really did a gingerbread house when I was a kid and always wanted to do one! I found this train kit at Walmart and thought it would work better for my son. He loves trains! 

Before

After

My son was more interested in eating the candy than decorating the train! In hindsight, decorating ONE portion of the train probably would have been better than trying to do the entire thing. 

Making Christmas Cookies 

I wanted to make Christmas cookies this year for Santa. I normally do bake cookies, but I'm not a big fan of doing the shapes. I asked my friend, that the kids call Grandma, if she would like to spend some time with my son to make the Christmas cookies. I thought it would be nice for him to do something with someone else other than mama! My friend was happy to spend some time with him to make the cookies. 

I have to say, it was so adorable watching them work together. My son had so much fun touching the dough, touching the flour, using the rolling pin, and decorating the cookies. This is definitely a tradition I want to continue going forward. We used these cookies to leave for "Santa".

He had fun eating some of the sprinkles and then eating the cookies, of course :) 

Christmas Eve Mass 

I decided to tackle Christmas Eve Mass with both of the boys... by myself! Not an easy task. Since we were going to be going to the 4pm service, I was worried about Christmas Eve dinner. I decided to make a Crock Pock Turkey dinner - so it was ready when we got home from Church. It turned out "OK". Next year, I'll need to tweak it a bit. 

Mass was exhausting, but I survived! The boys were pretty good considering how long we were there. I'm glad we went though! It's easy to skip it with the crowds and all. But really, attending Mass during Christmas is a MUST - it's the reason for the whole thing.  

Family Box 

This is new, but old, as well. We do a Family Box: new PJ's, a family movie, chocolate milk, snack, and a new book. It makes it hard when we did Christmas Eve Mass and then had Christmas Eve dinner. By then, it was past the boy's bedtime! So, we just did the PJ's and new book on Christmas Eve. Watched the movie and ate a snack Christmas Day. I'll be honest, never really got to the chocolate milk -- it's still sitting in the pantry. 

Christmas Day 

Christmas Day was exciting when I was a kid! I didn't put out the Christmas presents until the boys went to sleep, so waking up Christmas morning -- my son was surprised to see all the presents :) 

What I didn't anticipate is how LONG it took to open presents. My son got distracted with each gift. 

He got a bike - it was all about the bike. 

He got a play kitchen - it was all about the play kitchen. 

He got a Blaze Truck - it was all about Blaze. 

We ended up opening presents all through the day. 

When my son gets older, I do want to do a volunteer event on Christmas Day. When I had my teenage foster daughter, we volunteered at the Salvation Army. I'm thinking maybe at 3 years old, he might be able to understand more and we can do some sort of volunteer event next year. 

Thank You Cards 

I haven't sent these out yet!!!! I'm sooo late on it! I'm going to work on it this weekend (so I say). But I think it's important to send Thank You cards to everyone that sent a gift. I want to teach my son to do it for any gift-giving event. 

Missed: We missed my Foster Agency Christmas Party. It just got too busy. It's a bummer because I really enjoy their events. 

That was how the holidays went down Family C-style. It was fun, it was nice, BUT it was exhausting!!! LOL. I have to say, I was happy when everything was over. I de-Christmasfied pretty quickly. I was happy get my house back in normal operation mode.

Like I mentioned earlier... it's hard work to make Christmas magical and happy for your kids! Totally worth it though! 

IVF #2 (Cycle 8): Medication Order #1 Complete!

Ordering medications this go-around I felt more knowledgeable. Last time, it just felt like I had no clue what I was doing. When I ordered, I didn't have a list of the meds.

This time was completely different. I had a copy of my medication order. I was able to cross-check with the items I have from previous cycles. I was able to order only the medications that I needed. It also turns out that there are multiple medications that "expire". For example, Lupron expires after 14 days! I didn't know that. So, I only ordered the medications that had a longer shelf life. I will order the other medication closer to when I need it. One other example are the Progesterone Suppositories. They expired in early January. I didn't realize that the shelf-life was so short! Never even got to use them for my last cycle. This cycle, I'm not ordering them until I get closer to needing to use them.

I don't have a cost breakdown yet. I ordered: Gonal F, Menopur, Dexamethasone, and Tri-Pak. They'll arrive on 1/20 and I'll receive a confirmation call on 1/19 with the cost breakdown.

For my last IVF cycle, I never received an itemization of the costs for my medicine. Since I was on the phone with the pharmacy, I asked for the itemization costs to be sent to me and confirmation of payment. When they call on 1/19, I'm going to ask for that for this order as well. Have to be organized for Tax season!

All and all, it was a good experience ordering the medication. It doesn't feel overwhelming, I feel like I am more knowledgeable, and the process has gone smoothly so far.

Next Steps:

• Continue BC pills. 
• 1/19/16: Receive call from pharmacy to confirm med order and cost. 
• 1/20/16: Receive medication in the mail. 
• 1/25/16: Injections class, Payment Due in Full, possible Ultrasound 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

IVF #2 (Cycle 8): IVF Calendar!

I was surprised that I received an email yesterday with my IVF Calendar! At my baseline U/S appointment, they said that it would take at least a week to receive it.

Good things about receiving the calendar early: I can plan! I can put together my own Excel IVF Calendar (which I prefer over the one my RE gives me). It satisfies my OCD compulsion to plan ahead and calendarize.

The problem with the calendar? It had the wrong protocol! It had the Luteal Lupron Protocol, which I was on for IVF Cycle #1. When I had my consult last month, we discussed moving me to the Lupron Microdose Flare Protocol. There's no way I want to do the same protocol and risk another cancelled IVF cycle.

I emailed the nurse last night to inquire about it. Thankfully, she was quick to respond this morning. She told me she would talk to my RE and get back to me.

One reason I'm very happy I keep a blog on my fertility treatments is that I track almost everything that happens at my appointments. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have noticed the protocol wasn't correct. Very thankful that I keep track of these things so closely, OCD tendencies and all.

By the end of the day, I received the following from my RE's Office:

• Copy of the Consent Forms and Waivers
• New IVF Calendar with the Lupron Microdose Flare Protocol listed!
• Copy of Requested Medications sent to my Pharmacy

Believe it or not, I actually already received a call from the pharmacy! Last cycle, this was an issue and I barely received everything on time for my injections class. The pharmacy called before I received the medication listing. I'm going to call them back tomorrow to place the order. I have some left-over meds from IVF Cycle #1 and want to do an inventory before I place my order. Also, I have plenty of time before I really need them, so I don't feel rushed this go-around.

What's odd and strange is: it seems to be happening so quickly! I've been waiting and waiting and waiting. But at the same time, it feels so far away. I don't start anything really until February... I'm sure January is going to fly by.

I want to continue to do Acupuncture, but I just don't know if I have the time and flexibility to do it! My acupuncturist is 45 min - 1 hour away from my house. Makes it hard now that I'm back to work and don't have as much flexibility. If I go, I have to find a babysitter - which means extra $$. I'm going to think about this a little more and see what the best choice is.

New IVF Calendar:

Next Steps: 

1. Call Pharmacy and order medication. 
2. 1/25/16 @ 10:15 a.m. Injections Training, Signing of Consent Forms, and Payment Due. Possible Ultrasound. 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

IVF #2 (Cycle 8): Baseline Ultrasound

Starting the process for IVF #2 is interesting... First, I'm excited! I didn't think I would be, after what happened with IVF #1 being cancelled for low-response. But I found myself excitedly driving to my appointment this afternoon.

Last month I had my consult with my RE for my next steps for IVF #2. We weren't sure if I would get in for February or March for Egg Retrieval. I was given Provera to induce my period to come and I started taking the supplements: DHEA and CoQ10.  It took awhile, but AF finally arrived on 12/31. The timing was kind of bad with the New Year Holiday. I was driving back to town on the 31st and when I tried to call my RE's office, no one picked up. So, initially I was a little worried that I wouldn't make it for the February ER.

What's strange is, I was totally OK if I didn't make it for the February ER.

For IVF #1, I was so worried about timing and getting things in by the end of 2015 - doing things right - getting used to the new process for IVF. It was a bit much. Now, I don't really feel rushed for IVF #2. It'll happen how it's supposed to happen. In all honesty, I may not feel the same when I'm taking all the fertility meds! But right now, I feel little "leisurely" about IVF #2.

This morning I called my RE's office on Day #5 of my cycle. Normally, I would have my baseline Ultrasound on Day 2 or 3. I wasn't really sure what to expect. Well, they said I had to come in TODAY to have my baseline ultrasound. Which is OK, since my day was pretty open.

I have a new insurance provider as of the New Year and there were a few issues with them finding me in the system. But it looks like it is worked out now. I had verified my insurance coverage over the weekend, so was surprised there were issues finding me.

The ultrasound was interesting because my follicles are bigger than they normally are at the baseline (because I came in on day 5 vs day 2/3), so I could see them better.

• Right Ovary: 5-6 follicles
• Left Ovary: 2-3 Follicles and that big cyst 

My RE doesn't seem concerned about the cyst. Thinks it's going to go away on its own. He also said that it depends on what type of cyst it is. I asked if it would delay the IVF cycle and he says he doesn't think so, that there are things they can do if it doesn't go away on its own. Which I thought was interesting. He's the doctor! And I trust him. Just going with it... 

Now, I begin birth control tonight and should receive my IVF calendar next week. Very exciting stuff! 

I am thinking positively that this could be the year it all works out :) Fingers Crossed for a good response to the different protocol. 

Next Steps: 

• Start Birth Control 
• Continue Supplements 
• Next week: Receive IVF Calendar 
• Next week: Order Medications 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Gratitude: December 2015

Working on my gratitude list since October has helped me focus on the positive things happening in life, instead of the negative. It is true that finding something NEW every single day can be difficult at times because once all the "big ticket items" are listed, you have to really try to find something else to add. What I noticed about it is, it makes me realize how the small things really help in making me happy. I've managed to work on my gratitude list every single day since I started.

There was a lot to be grateful for in December! Here's my list:

• My happy giggling boys.
• Learning to deal with new toddler behaviors from Little Guy. Because hey, I get to go through ALL stages with him - the good, the bad, and the ugly :) 
• Sunsets over the ocean. 
• Lunch with dear friends 
• Spending the day leisurely with my son 
• Forgiveness 
• Technology to help with infertility 
• Daily Advent readings and lighting of Advent candles with my son. He likes to blow the candles out! 
• How independent and secure my son is, I hope it sticks! 
• Celebrating my son's birthday! 
• Making new birthday traditions. 
• Celebrating my son's birthday with friends. 
• Realizing just how blessed we are here with great friends. 
• Organizations that provide Christmas gifts for foster and adoptive kids. 
• Friends to lean on. 
• Conveniences of text messaging. 
• Reconnecting with old friends. 
• Having my son kiss, hug, and say "hi" to all his stuffed baby friends in the morning. They all have names now :)
• Being blessed with adoption leave from work.
• Being able to open the windows and air out the house. 
• Revisiting fond memories.
• Holiday celebrations
• Boys sleeping past 7am!!! Woohoo! 
• Little Guy looking at our Adoption/Christmas card and saying "Wow, cute." 
• Getting rid of clutter! 
• Letting go of the past. 
• Moving forward. 
• All my foster babies from over the years.
• Being productive.  
• My fostercare agency. 
• Reminders List on my iPhone/Mac - keeps me organized! 
• Receiving Christmas cards in the mail. 
• Little Guy sitting in a grown up chair at the dinner table. 
• Random acts of kindness 
• Being complimented that my kids are well behaved 
• Receiving mail with my son's new name on it 
• Celebrating the holidays with special friends. 
• My son enjoying the holidays
• Giving presents 
• Finding a church to join
• Planning my son's baptism  
• Swim class for my son 
• Baking cookies 
• Warm showers 
• Christmas Eve with the boys 
• Surviving Christmas Eve Mass with the boys by myself! 
• Putting the presents out on Christmas Eve, after the boys went to sleep. 
• Watching the boys enjoy Christmas 
• Friends that help with flat tires! 
• Learning how to change a flat tire. 
• Getting my son's new birth certificate. 
• Hearing Little Guy talk more. 
• Road trips 
• Adult conversations 
• Visiting my childhood "home" 
• The smell of the Pacific Ocean 
• The National Anthem