I started this process in January 2016. My lawyer was fast in completing things, it was me that was delayed verifying stuff or getting names to him. Partly due to my IVF cycle and partly due to waiting to hear back from people if they were willing to fill any roles. I could have had everything completed within 2 weeks of starting! Alas, it took nearly 2 months due to not having the info or not reviewing the documents in a timely fashion.
Scheduling Appointment
In order to find a lawyer, I went through my Legal Services website and found one that was relatively close to where I lived. We set-up an initial meeting consult and they sent me over a worksheet to complete prior to the meeting. They said it was OK if I didn't have the entire thing filled out. I didn't understand some of it and left a good portion of it blank.
Meeting Consult with Lawyer
The meeting was interesting. You can tell the lawyer has done this estate planning many times. We discussed each document and what information that I needed to provide and what each document "meant." The hardest part was choosing people to serve in the roles. I had some filled, but didn't have back-ups for any of the positions. My lawyer wanted back-ups for all the positions. He explained what the roles meant and what they would be asked to do
Will
- Beneficiaries - my son and any children I may have/adopt in the future
- Successor Beneficiaries - my older brother
- Executor (administrator of the Will)
- Back-up Executor
- Guardian of my children
- Back-up Guardians
Finding a Guardian for my son was tough... I really only have contact with my older brother and we don't have any blood relatives in the United States. When I was adopting my son, I had discussed guardianship with my brother. He didn't sound comfortable with it. Truthfully, I didn't feel comfortable choosing him. I have my reasons... he lives at home with my father still, he's never lived on his own, never had to take care of another person, and he's not very responsible with his finances. Not to mention that my brother hasn't really made an effort to build a relationship with my son (we live in different States - but he hasn't visited and he didn't make the adoption). So, my son doesn't really know him. I knew I'd have to go with someone else.
I asked my son's daycare provider if she would be willing to be my son's guardian. She said YES and she cried...! :) I absolutely adore our daycare provider, she has birth children, has adopted, and has been a foster parent. I couldn't think of anyone better than her. Not to mention, my son has known her his entire life. When she said yes, I felt so relieved... Like I knew my son would be OK with her and his best interests would be taken care of.
Now, I needed a back-up Guardian. One of his other daycare providers is also going to be his God Mother! Her children are a little older and she's also known my son since he was born. I asked her if she would be back-up. It took her awhile to get back to me, as she had to discuss it with her husband. They said YES! Which also made me feel relieved... My son would be taken care of.
Then, I asked a friend to be third back-up Guardian. He's great with my son and is such a great person. He doesn't have any children of his own, but he's wonderful with his nieces and nephew. He said YES! Again, I felt so relieved... My son would be taken care of.
I am so thankful for everyone that agreed to be in the succession plan for Guardianship of my son. I am also grateful for those that agreed to be my Executor / back-up Executor. It's a big responsibility and I'm glad I have people willing/able to serve in these roles.
Living Trust
- Avoids Probate
- Protects underage children
- Need a Trustee and Back-up Trustee
Power of Attorney
- Medical Agent and Back-Up
- Financial Agent and Back-Up
I already had an idea who I wanted to be my Medical Agent Power of Attorney. I have a succession plan of three people.
Financial Power of Attorney was also an easy pick. I used the same folks that I designated for my Living Trust.
Living Will
- End of Life
- Disposition of Remains
I also had to make choices on what to do if I have an illness or injury that I will not recover from. Then, had to think about what I wanted after I die. Weird to think about it, but I'm glad that it's all written down - so that my family doesn't have any guess work in the event that something happens to me.
Funeral and Cemetery Arrangements
With all of this planning, I also made an appointment with my chosen Cemetery. I want a Catholic Burial, so have chosen a Catholic Cemetery. We're going to have all my "wishes" for my burial written down, so that it's all taken care of. I also considered pre-paying for everything. But I'm taking Financial Peace University and Dave Ramsey says not to... so, I guess I'm not going to pre-pay. I'll just have all my wishes in my file. I was supposed to meet with the Funeral Director in January, then February -- but we had to keep moving back our meeting for whatever reason that came up. We now have a meeting in mid-March to discuss it all.
Today, I went in and signed everything. I now have all my Estate Planning "officially" on file. I have the hard copies in my "Legacy Folder" (where all my important documents go). I purchased a small fire proof/water proof safe to hold all my important documents.
I am happy that this is all taken care of. I had this fear that if something happened to me that my son would end up back in foster care. That thought scared the crap out of me, as I would hate to have my son lost in the broken system. Having the guardians picked really gives me peace of mind. No matter what, I know he'll be taken care of. That's what matters and that's why the Estate Planning was so important to me.
Next Steps in Estate Planning Process:
- Meet with a Financial Advisor to discuss aligning my accounts with my Living Trust.
- File my Beneficiary Deed at the County Recorder's Office.
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