Yesterday I posted about getting laid off of work. Besides the panic and worry about making ends meet and finding a new job, I also had to consider what do I do now with trying to have this baby? Last week, when I was given the news that my fresh IVF #2 cycle didn't work - my thoughts were more on:
Do I wait a few cycles before trying a FET?
Should I do a medicated vs unmedicated FET?
Should I do a new Fresh Cycle and PGD test my eggs?
Now, things have changed dramatically. There are more things to consider. The new questions were:
Should I move forward with a FET right now?
Should I wait until I find a new job?
Should I stop for a while and focus on job hunting?
Some things that played into my decision making:
After my failed IVF cycle, my RE had told me that when AF arrived - she would be heavier than normal. NO JOKE. AF arrived after days of spotting. I started spotting almost immediately after stopping the progesterone, but no real "flow" until Sunday (3/6). And it hit pretty hard, being extremely heavy. Since AF came on her own and it started before the clinic's deadline, it's looking like my FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) will be in April.
Once CD #1 hit with some fierceness, I scheduled my baseline ultrasound. My actual FET #1 discussion won't be until next Monday (3/14), that's where I'll find out more about what everything is going to look like and I have some major questions to ask the RE. Which, since I'm a planner -- I can't wait for this meeting! I want my little FET calendar! I also want to know what the price-tag is going to look like... considering everything else going on. The good thing about a FET is that there are less monitoring appointments vs. a full IVF cycle.
At my baseline appointment yesterday, the staff said how great it was to see me happy... It was the day after I got laid off, so I wasn't really happy - I was more "soldiering on." I just put on a smiley face and said, "thanks."
My RE said that everything looked good to start the FET cycle. He said everything looked "recovered" and there were no cysts (yay and yay). Since I had 4 embryos make it to blast and have 3 left, I asked him what he thought the odds were of one of the embryos being genetically normal. He said that he thinks that there is at least ONE baby in the 3 embryos. This is the suggestion:
If FET #1 and FET #2 do not work... then I'm going to have to stop trying OR try to squeeze in a fresh IVF cycle in August (which will be tight since my severance ends at the end of August). Another fresh cycle would be unlikely... as I'm hopeful to have a new job by then and taking time off for monitoring appointments would be almost impossible at a new position.
So here begins my first Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle, which is looking a lot different than I thought it would with everything else going on, but we are here none-the-less. Let's see how this cycle turns out, my time is limited on trying for Baby C. Really hoping for a successful transfer.
Do I wait a few cycles before trying a FET?
Should I do a medicated vs unmedicated FET?
Should I do a new Fresh Cycle and PGD test my eggs?
Now, things have changed dramatically. There are more things to consider. The new questions were:
Should I move forward with a FET right now?
Should I wait until I find a new job?
Should I stop for a while and focus on job hunting?
Some things that played into my decision making:
- I am going to be receiving a severance package for a few months.
- My medical benefits will last through the end of my severance package.
- There's no guarantee that even if I get a new job, that they'll have infertility benefits or that I'll have the flexibility to make medical appointments.
With the thoughts that my medical coverage will only last a few more months, I decided to move forward with FET #1. There's a lot of worry about with this decision:
What if FET #1 is successful and I'm pregnant, will that hinder my job hunt?
If I get a new job, will I even be able to take maternity leave?
A friend told me that I shouldn't give up on my dream of having a baby, that I just need to move forward with it. That I'll regret it if I stop now. That everything will work out as it should and that I'll find the perfect job.
I really thought about it and figured that people have baby's with much less and in more dire situations. Plus, who knows if FET #1 will actually work. I hope it does... but again, there's no guarantee in all of this.
Ideally, I would love to give my kids everything and anything... but the truth behind it all is, all that stuff isn't important. It's more about the love of our family and being together. We will be OK. Even though it hurts my heart thinking that I won't be able to provide the life that I wanted for my kids... I just have to roll with it and change my frame of mind on what that really means and focus on what really matters - and that's love and quality time.
Right now, the decision is: CONTINUE WITH FET# 1.
Once CD #1 hit with some fierceness, I scheduled my baseline ultrasound. My actual FET #1 discussion won't be until next Monday (3/14), that's where I'll find out more about what everything is going to look like and I have some major questions to ask the RE. Which, since I'm a planner -- I can't wait for this meeting! I want my little FET calendar! I also want to know what the price-tag is going to look like... considering everything else going on. The good thing about a FET is that there are less monitoring appointments vs. a full IVF cycle.
At my baseline appointment yesterday, the staff said how great it was to see me happy... It was the day after I got laid off, so I wasn't really happy - I was more "soldiering on." I just put on a smiley face and said, "thanks."
My RE said that everything looked good to start the FET cycle. He said everything looked "recovered" and there were no cysts (yay and yay). Since I had 4 embryos make it to blast and have 3 left, I asked him what he thought the odds were of one of the embryos being genetically normal. He said that he thinks that there is at least ONE baby in the 3 embryos. This is the suggestion:
- April: Transfer One Embryo.
- If April FET #1 Fails, move forward with FET #2 in June (which will be good since my medical coverage will still be active)
- FET #2, transfer both remaining embryos
If FET #1 and FET #2 do not work... then I'm going to have to stop trying OR try to squeeze in a fresh IVF cycle in August (which will be tight since my severance ends at the end of August). Another fresh cycle would be unlikely... as I'm hopeful to have a new job by then and taking time off for monitoring appointments would be almost impossible at a new position.
So here begins my first Frozen Embryo Transfer cycle, which is looking a lot different than I thought it would with everything else going on, but we are here none-the-less. Let's see how this cycle turns out, my time is limited on trying for Baby C. Really hoping for a successful transfer.
Next Steps:
- Start Birth Control 3/9
- 3/14/16: IVF #2 WTF Consult and FET #1 Discussion
For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.
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