Every since my son was adopted, I've been wanting to have him baptized in the Catholic Church. The issue was: I did not belong to a local parish. I attended church regularly a few years ago and went to a church I absolutely LOVED, but it was 30 minutes away. It became difficult to attend. I didn't necessarily like the local parish that's close to my house. So, I've been a "bad" Catholic and haven't been attending church regularly. Not to mention, it's extremely difficult going to church solo with a toddler and a crawling baby...
Since the adoption, I decided that I need to find a closer - more do-able in attending regularly - church. I attended a few and finally decided on one that was relatively close (15 minutes away). It's where I attended Financial Peace University. To make things official, I finally registered to be a parishioner in December.
Registering for Baptism
Once I was registered, I could register for the Baptism. The Diocese here has different rules from where I grew up. They only allow for 2 God Parents (minimum of 1), the God Parents must meet all these requirements (all sacraments, registered parishioner, and married in the Catholic church). My home-town Diocese isn't that strict and there's more flexibility in choosing God Parents. For example, I did not have all my sacraments when I became a God Parent.
Once I registered online, they scheduled an in-person meeting with me to discuss all the requirements. They needed my son's birth certificate and wanted to discuss the reason for baptism and the important of choosing God Parents.
They also asked me why there was no father listed on the birth certificate. I had to explain that my son is adopted and that I'm single, so there is no legal father. It was a little strange having to explain that to the church, just to get him baptized... but it is what it is.
Since the adoption, I decided that I need to find a closer - more do-able in attending regularly - church. I attended a few and finally decided on one that was relatively close (15 minutes away). It's where I attended Financial Peace University. To make things official, I finally registered to be a parishioner in December.
Registering for Baptism
Once I was registered, I could register for the Baptism. The Diocese here has different rules from where I grew up. They only allow for 2 God Parents (minimum of 1), the God Parents must meet all these requirements (all sacraments, registered parishioner, and married in the Catholic church). My home-town Diocese isn't that strict and there's more flexibility in choosing God Parents. For example, I did not have all my sacraments when I became a God Parent.
Once I registered online, they scheduled an in-person meeting with me to discuss all the requirements. They needed my son's birth certificate and wanted to discuss the reason for baptism and the important of choosing God Parents.
They also asked me why there was no father listed on the birth certificate. I had to explain that my son is adopted and that I'm single, so there is no legal father. It was a little strange having to explain that to the church, just to get him baptized... but it is what it is.
Finding God Parents
With the strict requirements of who they allowed to be God Parents, I really had to search out people that had every single requirement. Some of my friends had most of their sacraments, but were missing one thing on the list of "must haves." So, my list of potential God parents started to dwindle into "I will never be able to baptize my son, I can't find any God Parents!"
I mentioned to one of his daycare providers, that is Catholic, how difficult a time I was having finding God Parents. Then she said that she meets all the requirements and would love to be my son's God Mother! I was so excited! So, I found ONE God Parent. She is also the back-up Guardian for my son, when I completed my Estate Planning.
Although I needed only 1 God Parent, I really wanted my son to have a God Mother and a God Father. I asked one of my close college friends and he said YES and he meets all the requirements. So Yay!
Each God Parent had to complete a form and have their church sign/put their seal on it. We received both and were able to schedule my son's Baptism day.
With the strict requirements of who they allowed to be God Parents, I really had to search out people that had every single requirement. Some of my friends had most of their sacraments, but were missing one thing on the list of "must haves." So, my list of potential God parents started to dwindle into "I will never be able to baptize my son, I can't find any God Parents!"
I mentioned to one of his daycare providers, that is Catholic, how difficult a time I was having finding God Parents. Then she said that she meets all the requirements and would love to be my son's God Mother! I was so excited! So, I found ONE God Parent. She is also the back-up Guardian for my son, when I completed my Estate Planning.
Although I needed only 1 God Parent, I really wanted my son to have a God Mother and a God Father. I asked one of my close college friends and he said YES and he meets all the requirements. So Yay!
Each God Parent had to complete a form and have their church sign/put their seal on it. We received both and were able to schedule my son's Baptism day.
Meeting with the Church
I have to just say that I felt a little uncomfortable when I met with the church volunteer that arranges the baptisms. She was nice enough, but I felt there was some judgment from being a single mother. Nothing directly that she said, but it was just a vibe that I got from her. I had both boys with me when I went to the meeting and both boys were on their best-worst behavior. So, I also felt there was some judgment on my parenting with my kid's being a little out of control.
Normally when I tell someone I've adopted as a single woman AND that I'm a single foster mom, I get a different reaction. I guess I am used to people appreciating the fact that I'm a foster parent and that I've adopted. Not so much in this case. What was interesting is the coordinator mentioned that she had fertility issues and had a hard time having kids (she has one child). Not really sure why she mentioned that from me saying I adopted. I did not mention that I was trying to conceive a baby through IVF... because I know that would be frowned upon. Anyways, it was a bit of a strange conversation.
I have to just say that I felt a little uncomfortable when I met with the church volunteer that arranges the baptisms. She was nice enough, but I felt there was some judgment from being a single mother. Nothing directly that she said, but it was just a vibe that I got from her. I had both boys with me when I went to the meeting and both boys were on their best-worst behavior. So, I also felt there was some judgment on my parenting with my kid's being a little out of control.
Normally when I tell someone I've adopted as a single woman AND that I'm a single foster mom, I get a different reaction. I guess I am used to people appreciating the fact that I'm a foster parent and that I've adopted. Not so much in this case. What was interesting is the coordinator mentioned that she had fertility issues and had a hard time having kids (she has one child). Not really sure why she mentioned that from me saying I adopted. I did not mention that I was trying to conceive a baby through IVF... because I know that would be frowned upon. Anyways, it was a bit of a strange conversation.
Baptism Class
Another requirement of baptizing my son was that I had to attend a Baptism Class. I've had to do this before when I was a God Parent. I went to the class expecting to hear about how the day of the baptism was going to go, responsibilities, etc. Instead, it was two hours of going through the bible on why we need to baptize and getting the entire history of baptism as referenced in the bible.
It's not that I don't appreciate the class... But the class was supposed to be 2 hours long. Two hours where I had to pay a babysitter to watch my kids. When the coordinator realized that we were at the 2-hour mark, he said "oops" and then spent about 5 minutes quickly going through what was happening on the day of the baptism... Meaning, I didn't get ANYTHING out of what I need the day of or what happens on the day of - which was supposed to be taught in this class. Afterward, I had to email them and ask them all these questions. Which, seemed to irritate them and they just emailed me the "reminder" of baptism day with more details (which was still missing stuff, so I sent a few follow-up questions).
It hasn't been a big ordeal trying to get my son baptized, it just felt like a lot of unnecessary stuff. It doesn't matter though because my son's baptism is just a few days away! I can't express how wonderful and excited I am to have my son baptized. I couldn't baptize him until he was my forever son. Being single and having very little family, I really want my son to have a relationship with God. I don't know what trials he'll face as he grows up or how he'll handle being adopted. I want to start him on the path to know Jesus, so he'll be more equipped to handle life's twists and turns.
I'll write another post about the day-of the baptism :) So excited!
No comments:
Post a Comment