IUI Cycle #2: CD1. The Journey Continues

Here we are: Calendar Day #1! I am grateful that my period came on time. Last month I had to take provera because my period was late. Irregular periods are no fun when you're TTC. I'm glad AF has decided to cooperate this month.

The last few days have not been good. I've gotten bad news after bad news. So, I am very happy to have something go "as planned" this week. It's also been interesting because I've been off any fertility medication for the last few days and I've felt completely MYSELF! I didn't realize that I wasn't feeling "myself" until I stopped the meds. It's interesting to note how crazy the TTC journey has been. All the anxiety, the stress, the anticipation, the worry -- adding fertility medications to the mix -- and it's a jumble of emotions. It's almost been a relief to feel like me.

The Plan: 

• CD1 --> Call to schedule Ultrasound. 
• CD3 --> 5/1 @ 8:30am. Ultrasound for follicle count and to check for any ovarian cysts. Will discuss medication protocol at that time. 

I should know more at my appointment on Friday. We'll discuss the medications and see if a different medication is better or just up the dosage on current medication. Also, will check for ovarian cysts. If there are cysts - the cycle will be cancelled. A common side-effect of Clomid is ovarian cysts... since I was on a low dosage last month, hoping I don't run into any issues this month. At this appointment, I will also schedule my mid-cycle ultrasound day. 

How do I feel? 

AF arrived with a vengeance this morning. Sorry if this is TMI... But I normally have a few "regular flow" days prior to heavy days. This time, I started off extremely heavy. I am sure it has to do with the progesterone for thickening my lining. 

Last cycle when AF arrived I was excited and couldn't wait to get started. This time, there wasn't that excitement. It was more like acceptance. The timing is working out perfect: AF came on time, the dates all line up well with my calendar, and I'll be able to get everything in before my travel dates. But I feel myself a little bit bitter and subdued about the whole thing. Perhaps I'm still disappointed from cycle #1 not working, it's only been a few days. I'm not really sure what it is. It has been a tough week emotionally and I have new fears where my Little Guy is concerned... There's just a lot right now that I need to compartmentalize. 

I haven't changed my mind. I still want to have a birth child. I still want to go through this process. 

If Cycle #2 doesn't work -- I'm going to have to skip June as I'll be traveling a lot and the days will not work to do a monitored cycle. With everything I learned from cycle #1, I'm hoping I can linger less on the Google-Oracle and on the forums. I also need to buy new insemisocks for my IUI and ultrasounds. Need to make sure I stay positive. I am also looking into fertility acupuncture. Heard it helps and I want to do all I can do to have a successful cycle. 

Here's to hoping for a successful Cycle #2! 

"What wonderful thing didn't start out scary?" 

Isaac Marion