IUI Cycle #5: And the Journey Continues, Baseline Ultrasound

I wish I could bottle up the enthusiasm and energy I had when I started this process in Cycle #1. I had so much optimism. I was also so worried about the "process," which is one reason I started to blog, to track and make sure I didn't mess anything up! Now, the process is so familiar that I can do it in my sleep (and often do - especially those trigger shots!). Even giving myself shots is like nothing. Who would've known?

I don't know if anyone is really reading my blog, but it's been very therapeutic for me to write throughout this process. It's been the one place I can complain and lay all my emotions out there. I would also hope that my journey can help someone else through their TTC journey... Everyone's path is different, but I know I've found some comfort in reading through other blogs.

I feel like I've grown so much during this process. I've been tested with all these "not this time" results. It's been an emotional roller coaster not knowing how each cycle will play out. The fertility medications have also been a challenge in navigating myself through the process. I've become very good at not letting Clomid get the better of me. I didn't foresee things playing out this way. This process almost feels like a test of endurance.

Now I'm here, Cycle FIVE. Number FIVE... I started this process in November 2014, so I've been on this path for much longer than 5 cycles - more like 10 months. <sigh> My eggs aren't getting any younger.

Although this process has been emotionally hard and although I've become hardened with the process, I am hopeful each and every cycle that it will be "the one". I've tried not to have any expectations for a cycle, but that doesn't work for me. I have to still want this, still hope for it, still believe it can happen.  If I am not optimistic, I know it'll be time to stop trying.

With all that: Let's GO Cycle #5! Let's make a Baby this month!!!! I almost feel like I'm in a competition and I have my game face on. I sometimes wish it was that simple to get pregnant and that pure determination can win the game.

The New Plan

It was mentioned (twice) during my visit that my infertility coverage will kick in after the 6th failed cycle... I'm glad my RE's office is on top of it. I really am... but it was a little sad to hear at the same time. The plan is:

• If cycle #5 doesn't work, go right into cycle #6. 
• Cycle #6, I'll have to re-do my CD3 bloodwork. Similar to when I started all the pre-testing in December. My bloodwork needs to be "recent" (within 6 months) for my insurance to approve the infertility benefits. This will get me ahead of the ball to jump right into IVF if Cycle #6 doesn't work. 
• During the TWW of Cycle#6, schedule the IVF consult with my RE.  
• Cycle #7, which would be IVF Cycle #1, we can jump right into the medication protocol for IVF. 

I love having plans. I really do. I am not looking at this as if I'm expecting Cycle #5 and/or Cycle #6 not to work. I am hopeful that they will. But at least there's a clear path towards IVF and there will be no lag time between cycles. 

Baseline Ultrasound

When I come in for my baseline ultrasound, my RE normally starts off by saying: "Sorry you're not pregnant." This time, he didn't say that (thank goodness!).

Good news: no cysts! Cycle is a GO. I have to admit, I was worried... I had pain in my ovaries during the TWW that I normally didn't have in other cycles. So, was worried that I somehow I got a cyst. So happy to hear.

Follicle Count:

• Right Ovary: 7-8 follicles
• Left Ovary: 5-6 follicles 

I couldn't help but think that if/when I move to IVF, that at least there is a good "starting point" for my follicles. There's so much to think about where IVF is concerned. There are so many options (ICSI, PGD testing, etc). I'm trying not to let my mind skip ahead and think about it too much. But I can't help it. I guess if cycle#6 becomes a reality, I'll basically be prepping for IVF. 

Same medication protocol as Cycle #3 and Cycle #4, just a change in the injectable brand:

• CD 3-7: Clomid (100 mg). 
• CD 8-10: FSH Injectable, Gonal-F (75 iu) 
• HCG Trigger Shot, Pregnyl (10,000 iu) 

My RE says I've reacted well to the stimulation protocol. But I worry that I haven't had success in those rounds, that maybe we should change it up. The issue is, it would costs me over a grand$ more to do straight injectables, which would be the only next logical step to get more aggressive. 

• Is it worth it if I'm stimulating well to the current medication protocol? But it hasn't worked. 
• If it hasn't worked, shouldn't we change something? 

My RE said changing it up won't improve the % chances and I might overstimulate if we move to a different protocol (which would lead to a cancelled cycle). I wish $ wasn't an issue... and I really don't want a canceled cycle.

Decisions-decisions. Something to think about if this cycle doesn't work and splurging for the extra time/money to change the medication protocol. Let's see. 

Next Steps: 

• Order Medications from the pharmacies 
• Purchase Donor Sperm 
• Mid-Cycle Ultrasound scheduled for 9/11/15 @ 2:45 p.m.