... Time to move to IVF. My 6th BFN. It's weird, I didn't cry this time - almost like I knew it was coming. My heart just feels heavy with the news, but not emotional. I think since fail #5, I had a feeling IVF would be inevitable since I knew the % chances go way down after IUI try #4. I feel so resigned about the whole thing.
Beta Test
When I got my blood drawn for the Beta Test to confirm, I was a bit teary eyed when I told her that I'm expecting it to come back negative. But the sadness I feel is a little less because I'm trying to focus on positive things and figuring that: 1) I'm doing all I can do to have Baby C and 2) Maybe it's not the right timing.
Looking back on my life, situations that seemed dire or didn't go as planned, I stressed about and worried about excessively. Yet, everything worked out as it should, which I realized after I had some perspective. I'm trying to look at this the same way. Everything will turn out as it should... even if it's not how I imagined it originally.
IVF
Beta Test
When I got my blood drawn for the Beta Test to confirm, I was a bit teary eyed when I told her that I'm expecting it to come back negative. But the sadness I feel is a little less because I'm trying to focus on positive things and figuring that: 1) I'm doing all I can do to have Baby C and 2) Maybe it's not the right timing.
Looking back on my life, situations that seemed dire or didn't go as planned, I stressed about and worried about excessively. Yet, everything worked out as it should, which I realized after I had some perspective. I'm trying to look at this the same way. Everything will turn out as it should... even if it's not how I imagined it originally.
IVF
So, there's absolutely NO guarantee that IVF is going to work for me. I am going into it realizing that. I don't want to get my hopes up. IVF will be my last shot at making Baby C a reality... I'm absolutely hoping for the best, but I don't want to have unrealistic expectations about the entire situation. I've read too many blogs and have been on too many forums to realize that IVF doesn't work for everyone. With that said, it's my best and only chance at having a baby at this point... Which means I have to give it a try. Because as I mentioned, I want to do all that I can do. I almost feel like this is my "Hail Mary" of a try. Depending how things turn out, I'll have to reevaluate and determine next steps. For now, IVF is the next road to venture down.
Next Steps:
- Call Insurance & get infertility approval. I will get assigned an infertility contact person at my insurance company to help me through the process.
- Wait for AF & schedule CD 3 ultrasound to check for cysts.
- IVF consult 11/9 @ 4pm. Hopefully will get IVF calendar & go over all costs. Get a better idea of how it's all going to work during the follicle stimulation, Egg Retrieval, and Egg Transfer.
- I need to get my IVF questions ready. I have an entire list that was on the SMC forum, very thorough list! Questions I never thought to ask. I just need to funnel through it, edit, and add some of my own. I will post my Q&A list when it's complete.
No comments:
Post a Comment