Talking about Adoption with my Toddler

It may sound weird, but I had a little panic attack when I realized that I have NOT spoken to Little Guy about adoption!

I always said that he would always know his story and would know he's adopted from the beginning. I guess with all the uncertainty for so long, with not knowing if I'm going to adopt him, that I just didn't talk to him about adoption (in case it didn't happen that way). He's been with me since he's been born, so it's hard to even think that he's not my birth child. I'm the only mom he's known. So sometimes I just forget that I have to be the one that explains things to him (in age-appropriate ways).

My hopes are that Little Guy embraces being adopted and looks at it like a positive thing. I know there may come a time when he becomes resentful, but I want to try to instill the value of adoption and what it means. I want him to be proud of his story and own it. Which means I have to start talking about it with him.

I was just thinking the other day that he has no clue that this huge, big day, is coming up -- our adoption day...!

I know he's young, not even 2 yet, but he understands things very well. I really want adoption to be part of his story and for him to be comfortable growing up knowing that he's adopted. So, I went on a search for "Toddler-Friendly Adoption Books". I have a bunch that I've requested at the library and will see if any of them are any good, maybe I'll even do a review of them (if it's worthwhile). There are mixed reviews on Goodreads for some of them and some really low review scores. I have a few ready for pickup at the library today, so we'll start "reading" about adoption tonight :)

I've also been thinking about making him his own "Adoption Book". I've always wanted to do this. I can't really finalize it until we have our adoption (so I can include a picture of us at court in the book). So, I've been thinking about that and what it's going to look like. I'm going to include pictures of his birth parents and of our family. Maybe a family tree? Still thinking about it. I want it to be age-appropriate and make it into a board book of sorts. Or perhaps just do pages in Word and print them -- putting them in a binder. That way I can add to it. Having Munchkin come live with us is a good thing, I think it'll be great to try to explain foster care and how some kids may only stay with us for a little bit. Maybe I will include a page with all of his foster "brothers and sisters". So many ideas. I need to start being actionable about these things.

Adoption books are great and all, but his story about being adopted from foster care is very personal. I want him to see his pictures and see how much he was loved by his birth family and by me.

I need to do more searches of blogs to see how adoption was discussed/introduced. This is all new to me too and I want to do it right. Here's to hoping and praying for a smooth start for my Little Guy in understanding adoption.