IUI Cycle #6: Back to the Starting Line... Again. Baseline Ultrasound 6.0 Style

When parking at the RE's office, I had this feeling of dread... Never felt that before during any of my cycles. I even said to myself, "I don't want to do this" and tears filled my eyes. This journey is so much harder than I ever anticipated. I was thinking how easy it would be to just stop, to not move forward with this, how it wouldn't impact anyone really -- just me. <sigh> The momentary thought stayed with me, but I went through with the appointment.

Here we are, my last IUI attempt -- #6... or so I think. I decided to go ahead and get my blood work done, so that if #6 doesn't work, I can get approval from my insurance to move forward with IVF. When I was discussing with the billing expert about possible next steps with IVF, she told me she's going to confirm with my insurance that IVF will get approved. I'm now really worried it won't get approved! I'll find out Monday. She said there might be a loop hole where I may need to do another 6 medicated cycles under the insurance, prior to IVF getting approved. All I could think was WTF. I didn't even think of this as an option. I thought it was a "for sure" thing that coverage would kick in after 6 medicated cycles. She's going to confirm Monday and get back to me. So now I will be stewing all weekend on whether or not IVF is even a possibility. Ugh. If it's not... I'm done trying for now. I can't afford IVF out of pocket and I'm not going to waste more money on IUI's when the percentage of success is so low after 6 tries.

My RE said that last cycle looked great on paper. They're not sure why I'm not getting pregnant. My last few cycles have looked excellent... I have to start really believing it has to be egg quality. Or just bad luck...? Who knows.

Baseline Ultrasound

Here's my starting point for this cycle:

• Right Ovary: 5-6 follicles 
• Left Ovary: 6 follicles 
• Uterine Lining: 4.57 mm

We are sticking with the mini stimulation cycle and just upping my Clomid to 150 mg. RE said he probably wouldn't cancel the cycle if I had a lot of follicles because my past cycles were unsuccessful. Normally, if I had more than 3 - the cycle would get cancelled. My last 3 cycles I've had 3 follicles and have not gotten pregnant. So, if I have more than 3 this round - he said he wouldn't cancel it. 

Medication Protocol:

• Clomid CD 3-7, 150 mg 
• FSH Gonal-F CD 8-10, 75 iu 
• Baby Aspirin 81mg 
• Trigger HCG Pregnyl 10,000 iu 

How do I feel?

I don't really know how I should feel... Frustrated. Nervous. Anxious. Worried. Just to name a few. I really want this cycle to "be it" - as IVF is the next logical step... If insurance truly kicks in that is... So much is in the air, I just hate it. I want to be positive and optimistic... but at the same time, I think it may be time to take a break if Cycle #6 doesn't work...

Next Steps:

1. Purchase Donor Sperm  
2. Clomid for CD 3-7 
3. FSH Gonal-F CD 8-10 
4. Mid-Cycle Ultrasound on 10/9/15 @ 2:15 pm