Cycle #7, IVF #1: Stims Day 1

It's that time... The time I've been waiting for --> IVF Ovarian Stimulation. This is where the big stuff for IVF starts happening. I'll stim for 8-10 days. Depending on how I react to it and how well I stimulate - will impact when my Egg Retrieval is. Here's how it works:

1. I start stims (11/29). 
2. I will go in on Day #4 of Stims and get blood work (12/2). 
3. I'll have an ultrasound and more blood work done on Day #5 of Stims (12/3). 
4. Depending on how these appointments look, I'll get additionally monitoring appointments scheduled (every 1-2 days) and might have to adjust my medication dosage (higher or lower). 
5. I'll need to start checking the online portal every day starting on Day #4 for any direction changes on my medication dosage. 
6. Then, they'll tell me when to do the trigger shot. 
7. They'll schedule the Egg Retrieval (tentatively scheduled for 12/10). 

I enjoyed my last morning cup of coffee yesterday. I have to admit, I was sad to drink my last cup :( Nothing like morning coffee.

Here are the directions on my IVF calendar:

• No Caffeine, Alcohol, Tobacco. Limit exercise to walking only and avoid heavy lifting. 
• No Advil, Ibuprofen, Aleve, or Motrin
• Use Protected intercourse only.

Lupron Update 

I thought I didn't have many side-effects to the Lupron at first. But as I continued to take it, I experienced: Dry skin, acne, short tempered, and some headaches. No fun :( 

Stims: Day #1 

Today begins the IVF cycle. Injectable medication being taken:

Gonal F: 225 iu

Menopur: 150 iu

Lupron: 5 iu

Mixing the meds wasn't too bad. You mixed all three into the Menopur vial and then have only one needle injection: 

I went really slow with the mixing. This is my first time with the Gonal-F pen and combining medications together. Going slowly helped, I think I'll get the hang of it pretty quickly though. 

One rookie mistake I made. I was recapping a needle and the needle pierced the outside of the cap and got my finger! Ugh. This is the FIRST time I've had a mistake with the needle before. Hurt like hell. Thankfully, this happened after I was done with the injections - was just getting ready to put it in the sharps container. 

The injection hurt going in, some burning sensations. Then the site of the injection was a bit tender afterwards. 

Start Medications: 

I had to start a few oral pills as well. 

• Baby Aspirin: 81 mg
• Zithromax: 1 pill, 500 mg - for 3 days

Continue: 

• Prenatal Vitamins
• Metformin: 2x's a day, 500 mg

One other thing I'm going to give a shot is using a heating pad on my tummy for 20 minutes a day. My acupuncturist said it'll help and I've read on a few boards that it helps the follicles develop. It can't hurt to give it a try! Also, drink plenty of water. My acupuncturist told me to drink the water at room temperature, not cold. 

How do I feel?

I feel a little disconnected from the IVF process today. It was a long holiday weekend being home full time with the boys. I'm just tired. I have a busy week ahead of me. I wish I knew how all of this is going to turn out. I'm trying not to jump and worry about the end result, as each step in the process is so critical. I also am so worried I'm going to screw up the medication somehow. Hopefully I'll get the hang of things and I'll stimulate well to the meds. 

Next Steps in IVF-Land:

• 12/1/15: Acupuncture Session #3
• 12/2/15: Blood work
• 12/3/15: First Monitoring Appointment (Ultrasound and Blood Work), Acupuncture Session #4

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Gratitude: Week of 11/22/15

It's been fun doing weekly gratitude lists on my blog.!What's better is that I'm reading my list every morning and adding 1-3 things a day. With IVF kicking up steam in Decemeber, I've decided to switch to monthly gratitude list blog entries going forward, as I'm not sure I'll remember to post or have time! So although I'll continue to add things I'm grateful for everyday, I'll only have one monthly blog entry. 

Here's my gratitude list for the week of 11/22: 

1. Watching Munchkin develop and grow. 
2. Writing the adoption Thank You cards.
3. Good friends that listen to my daily venting! 
4. When the house is quiet. 
5. My Kindle White Paper 
6. Lazy mornings with the boys. 
7. My crazy hyperactive dog who thinks he's a baby. 
8. Thanksgiving Fun Runs with the boys. 
9. Spending Thanksgiving with wonderful friends. 
10. Being a Forever Mama!!! 
11. Making plans for my family. 
12. Having time to do things with the boys. 
13. Receiving our adoption announcement/Christmas card in the mail! They turned out so good! 

Halloween 2015 with the Caped Crusaders

This is a little late! Meant to post last month, but things got really busy and I never finished writing it. Better late than never, here's how our Halloween went :)

The boys were Batman and Robin for Halloween this year. I wanted to do something that was in theme with each other and this is the best I could think of. I'm thinking next year, I'll dress up as well... maybe!

Agency Halloween Event 

My Foster Care agency has an annual Halloween event. I really like it because it's small and just enough for little ones. They have a bounce house, gave us free pumpkins, gave cupcakes and cakes away, activities for the kids, face painting, family photos, and even a small Trunk or Treat for the kids.

Little Guy was scared in the bounce house! Not big enough for it I suppose. He won free cupcakes and got a lot of new car toys. He did cheat a little and was just grabbing them out of the basket instead of playing the game... LOL.

When we were doing the Trunk or Treat, there was one car that had a rat that jumped out at you. Little Guy was just going along, getting candy, when the rat jumped out at him and he starts screaming!!! It scared him so bad, poor guy. I'm standing there feeding munchkin a bottle and I can't pick him up. Not to mention I was laughing a bit... It was classic. Wish I have gotten it on video! Luckily there was a fellow single-foster mom there that took him and helped him get through the rest of the trunks. He was very cautious after that and kept an eye on the rat, kept looking over his shoulder at it. Got to love Halloween.

Carving a Pumpkin

This is the first year that we carved a pumpkin. Last year, he was just way too small. This year, I thought it might be fun for him to play with the pumpkin guts. He was actually so grossed out by the pumpkin guts that he just kept saying "Ew" and refused to touch it with his hands.

He did love the pumpkin once it was done and was fascinated with the light.

Our Pumpkin

Daycare Halloween Party

The boy's daycare also had a small Halloween Party where the boys got to wear their Halloween costumes. It's nice that we had all these events and the boys got good use out of their costumes!

Halloween Day 

Halloween Day was an interesting one. Both kids woke up grumpy from their afternoon nap! It's like they just knew we were going to do something that night, so they didn't nap very long and then woke up all cranky. I was worried they weren't even going to make it out the door to try Trick or Treating.



Luckily, both kids made and got dressed. Munchkin was very fussy once we left the house. Can't blame him, we left the house when he's normally going down to go to sleep!

Little Guy practiced all day saying "Trick or Treat!" He was saying it really well. But once we went out to Trick or Treat, he didn't say it at all. Just went up to the people and tried to figure out what he was supposed to do. He tried going into every single house! He was too short to ring the doorbell, but he tried. He did end up getting a whole bunch of candy. Candy that he couldn't eat (or that I won't let him eat). Munchkin was a grumpy mess the entire time. I had to put him in the Tula carrier, he cried if he wasn't in there. He fell asleep for a little bit, so he didn't enjoy his first Halloween very much! Didn't even get to go up to a door. I'm sure next year will be a different story for him. I'm also sure that Little Guy will have a funner time next year as well, as he starts to understand things better.

All in all, Halloween this season was nice! The boys got to wear their costumes multiple times, we had a bunch of events that we attended, and Trick or Treating was semi-successful. 

So much to be thankful for!

This was our first Thanksgiving as a Forever Family. It was also Munchkin's very first Thanksgiving! We have a lot to be grateful for this year. Little Guy finally having permanency, welcoming Munchkin into our home, starting our Forever Family, having wonderful and supportive friends - just to name a few. We have had a very blessed year for sure. 

Turkey Day Fun Run 

We woke up early and headed over to the local Turkey Day fun run. I've been doing a Thanksgiving fun run the past few years. Normally, I would actually *run* a 5K. But since I haven't actually been running this past year, a one-mile walk with two small people is all I could manage! 

The fun run I chose for this year was closer to my house and smaller than the ones I've done in the previous years. Which was really nice! I didn't miss the huge crowd! Next year, we will definitely stick to this fun run. 

They had a big sign we could write what we were grateful for. Here's what I wrote: 

Munchkin fell asleep in the carrier before the race got started, so I carried him the entire way. Little Guy got out and ran for a little bit of the time in the beginning. We were actually one of the last people to finish! Lol. But I wanted to give Little Guy the opportunity to "race" a little. I'm sure next year he'll be running more than he did this year :) 

Here's Little Guy getting ready to cross the finish line: 

We even ran into one of our friends at the event! Her husband was running in the 5K. 

Thanksgiving Dinner

We don't have any family here, so we went over to our friend's house for Thanksgiving. The kids call her Grandma. Little Guy and I spent the holidays last year with them. The boys had so much fun, especially Little Guy. He was running around and playing with all the other kids. The other kids were so good with both boys. Munchkin got spoiled and was held almost the entire day. It was nice to get a semi-break from being the sole person watching the boys! It's very nice of our friend and her family to take us in. We are very fortunate to have such wonderful people in our lives to invite us to be apart of their family's holidays. 

It was a great day :) Although, I'm exhausted!!! The boys are exhausted - no nap for Little Guy and a cat nap for Munchkin. No Black Friday shopping for me! Catching up on sleep sounds like a good idea...! 

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! 

Our Adoption!

My Little Guy is now officially my Forever Son! Our adoption was last Saturday and took place on National Adoption Day.

The Courthouse 

We arrived at the court house early and there was a lot going on: bounce houses, face painting, storm troopers, characters walking around, Santa and Mrs. Clause. As we waited, our friends started to arrive. I had a few friends fly/drive from California to attend, which was just amazing and nice of them!

Admittedly, I was in a sort of "daze" most of the day. Just couldn't believe after all the waiting, we were finally here - that it was actually happening. 

Most of the friends that said they were going to attend, made it. We had a good group of people there to support us. A few friends watched Munchkin for me, while a few of my friend's kids chased Little Guy around. He was so hyperactive, mostly running on fumes, as the adoption was right in the middle of his normal nap time! 

He was funny running down the hall, screaming, rolling around on the floor, climbing all over the place. 

When we arrived at the courtroom, I had to check in with my lawyer and sign a few more papers. Our courtroom was running behind, so they told me we would most likely go in later. So, we waited! 

The Finalization Hearing

When we were called into the courtroom, Little Guy was pretty much "done" and did not want to sit down. He tried to run around the courtroom! I put him on my lap and gave him some of his toy cars to play with. Instead of playing with them, he started to throw them! Oh my. LOL. The good thing is, I was so distracted with keeping him seated and happy -- that I didn't have time to be emotional. I was sworn in and then I had to answer questions posed by my lawyer. All the answers were "yes" - which made it easy for me. LOL. 

Little Guy was hilarious during the hearing. He was laughing, giggling, playing. He tried escaping me, but I managed to keep hold of him. I thought he would throw a tantrum, but he didn't. Thank goodness. 

Then, the judge said stuff and made things official! That's when I let a few tears fall. It was official. The foster care part with Little Guy was over. We were a Forever Family now. 

I still can't believe it. 

After the ceremony, I had a special person that made sure I received the Order of Adoption paperwork. We took family photos and took a few pictures around the courthouse. Then, we headed to a pizza place to celebrate with our friends. 

Celebrating

The pizza place was packed! I didn't expect that and I didn't reserve any seats. Fortunately, one of the reserved tables wasn't needed until later and we were able to use it. By this time, I am mentally exhausted. I hadn't eaten all day and I was just tired. We ordered food, ate, and chatted. Luckily, my friends continued watching Munchkin and the kids chased Little Guy around. I felt so grateful to have all these people to spend time with and share the joy of our adoption.

Arriving Home 

By the time we left, I felt like I could sleep for an entire day! We got home and the boys were also exhausted, went to sleep almost right away. No nap days will do that to you! That's when I let myself cry. It all hit me and I cried like a baby. My son is now mine, legally. It's all official. 

We received some amazing gifts and great advice on the "wishes" cards we sent out with the invitations. We are so blessed to have wonderful people in our lives.

Not As "Planned"

Things don't always go as 'planned' and people let you down sometimes. Despite that, I wanted to focus on the POSITIVE thing for the day -- the ADOPTION! But there were a few things that really impacted the start of the day for me.

The day didn't start off the 'best', as my brother was supposed to come into town for the adoption. At the last minute, he wasn't able to make it. I was very upset and disappointed. He is the only blood relative I really have contact with. I do have to admit, it wasn't surprising he didn't make it... But it didn't make it any easier dealing with him not coming. 

I also was supposed to have a friend help me with the boys the morning of the adoption, so I could get ready. She flaked on me, which made the morning a little more hectic than I expected or planned for. Left me scrambling to get myself and the boys ready to go. Not a great way to start off the day for sure!

At the End of the Day 

All in all. I still can't believe it. Maybe it'll sink in eventually. But I'm still in awe and get teary eyed thinking, "he's my son!" and "I get to watch him grow up!" and "We can make plans for the future" and "No more fears about him being taken away from me." 

I'm so amazed at my son and the happy little person he is. The randomness of the foster care system placement procedures brought me my forever son. How did I get so lucky? 

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Quick Update + Acupuncture Session #2

IVF Update

Haven't written an IVF update in a few days. Not much to report. I stopped Birth Control pills after 23 days of being on it. Just a note - I got really bad headaches in the birth control. At first, I didn't make the connection - but after I stopped, the headaches stopped! 

I am continuing on with Lupron (10 iu). The injections were going extremely well. Then the last two days the needle kind of hurt going in. Not sure why... I'm not doing anything different. Psychological maybe? Who knows. I am starting to feel like a pin cushion though. Injections in your belly every day is not a fun task.

I did start my period, which is not my "normal" type of period. They told me I might start it and that it might not be like my normal period, so I wasn't surprised. But it's still annoying because it's lasting longer than my normal cycle and it's a different consistency... Sorry if that's TMI. 

Although things have seemed slow, it's about to get busy-busy with IVF updates, as I start stims on Sunday and monitoring appointments next week.

Acupuncture Session #2 

I don't know if I'll ever get used to acupuncture! It's such a different way of thinking. I really do need to read more into it, so that it can be more effective.  Only if I had more time! LOL. My acupuncturist looked at the color of my tongue when I go in and I guess that tells her stuff about my balance. This time needles were in the following places: calves, feet, by my knees, inside of my elbows, lower tummy, and forehead. None of them really hurt going in. 

The difference this go around is, I was actually able to relax! I even almost fell asleep a few times. Maybe next time, I'll be able to relax even more and fall asleep. I felt great afterwards. Wish I could've taken a nap though, I was tired for the drive home.  

Next Week in IVF-Land: 

• 11/29/15: Start Stims! Menopur, Gonal-F, and continue Lupron
• 12/1/15: Acupuncture Session #3
• 12/2/15: Blood Work 
• 12/3/15: Ultrasound and Blood Work, Acupuncture Session #4

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Gratitude: Week of 11/15/15

Last week, I was grateful for: 

1. Calling Little Guy "my son" and not "foster son" 
2. Vacation time! 
3. When Munchkin sleeps through the night. 
4. Watching the boys play and laugh with each other. 
5. Leaning new things from friends - like baking pumpkin pies from scratch. 
6. Little Guy kissing his stuffed dog and cuddling it. 
7. Munchkin waking up in the morning without crying. 
8. Tears of joy and happiness. 
9. Little Guy going over to Munchkin's crib and saying, "Hi" first thing in the morning and petting his head. 
10. Adoption Day! Starting our Forever Family. 
11. Spending adoption day with amazing and supportive friends. 
12. Hearing the boys "talk" to each other in the morning. 
13. Starting my son's journal :) 

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Acupuncture, Session #1

At my IVF Consult, my RE provided a referral to two acupuncturist. I was on the fence about really going for it... fear of needles and all. Also, the additional $ that goes along with it. I've already spent so darn much on this process... I didn't feel comfortable dishing out more money on a concept that might not really "up the odds". There are so many contrary opinions out there: it works, it doesn't work, can't hurt. Well, I figure -- It can't hurt.

I heard acupuncture really relaxes you. I'm so tense lately, I can definitely use some relaxation.

I called one of the acupuncturists my RE referred. She was really nice and had some good information on her website. It says that you really should start acupuncture 3 months prior to IVF. Well, obviously I'm behind the ball on that one! I didn't think I'd get here and didn't foresee having to take these extra steps towards having Baby C. But here I am: IVF-land and now acupuncture-land.

Here's the plan:

1. Initial Consult / 1st Session: go over medical information, provide any test results from RE and PCP. $150 
2. Ongoing Sessions: have 1-2 regular sessions a week prior to egg transfer. $85 per session 
3. Day of Transfer: have treatment before Egg Transfer and treatment after. $325 

Session #1 

This was my first acupuncture session, ever. So, I wasn't really sure what to expect. I provided my blood work and lab results, we discussed my medical history, we discussed IVF and infertility. Then after the paperwork and initial discussion was complete, I had my first real acupuncture session.

Let me say, it was a little surreal. I have a big fear of needles. Knowing this, I kept my eyes shut while she started sticking me. Some spots it hurt. Others, I didn't feel it. Places that hurt: my right wrist, my right foot, and my forehead. After awhile, it didn't hurt. The right wrist was uncomfortable if I moved it wrong.

After she stuck me with the needles, she put a heating lamp over my stomach. I guess to help "warm up my uterus." Then, I laid there for 20-25 minutes. I couldn't really relax. I did open my eyes to check out the needles. They look scarier than they felt.

Afterwards, we discussed my next steps in regards to: IVF prep, supplements, diet, exercise, and meditations. She's recommending 1-2x per week prior to IVF, day of transfer (before/after), and 3-5 days post transfer to help with implantation.

It's all very interesting and now that I'm doing acupuncture, I need to really research it a little more. She recommended I read two books: 1) The Infertility Cure and 2) Feed your Fertility. I need to check if these are available at the library.

All in all: an interesting experience! I've never really looked at fertility/infertility in this type of way before. I guess I haven't really had time to think about it as things get so busy when you're cycling for fertility treatments. I've been more focused on the medications, the injections, and not missing a step. I haven't really thought about all these other things, like Chinese Medicine.

I can't say I "enjoyed" it. But I feel good that I'm doing it! Here's to hoping it turns out well.

Next Week in IVF Land:

• 11/24: Acupuncture Session #2  
• Lupron: Continue 10 iu until 11/29
• 11/29: Start Stims - Day #1 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Starting Lupron Injections

Today was my first day of Lupron (10 iu). At the Injections Class yesterday, we went over the injection. But for some reason, I just couldn't *remember* if I needed to insert air into the vial! So, I watched some YouTube instructional videos before my injection.

The actual injection went relatively quickly. Probably because I've been giving myself injections for months now. Mixing was quick and the actual injection was quick. Hopefully the rest of the injections (especially when I start stims on 11/29) will go as smoothly.

The rest of the week: 

• 11/20/15 @ 11am: First Acupuncture session. 
• 11/21/15 @ 1pm: Our ADOPTION!!! 
• Lupron: Continue 10 iu until 11/29. 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Injection Training + IVF Payment

Yesterday, I received all of my medications. I'm glad I didn't receive them sooner because it was a bit overwhelming seeing all of it. Luckily, my injection training class was today and it made it seem a little more "doable".

Here are the instructions that I received for today's appointment:

1) Appointment for Injection Training, Signing of consent forms, and payment in full.
2) May also have an ultrasound today if indicated.
3) Bring ALL medications and consents (IVF packet) to this appointment.
4) Prior to this appointment, you must view injection training video on website.
**Possible Urine and Blood Sample Today

I ended up not needing the ultrasound, urine, or blood sample.

Injections Training

For injections training, the nurse went over every single medication that I was taking. Showed me how to inject each one of them and explained what they were for. I had read through all of the consent forms and also watched the video on their website, so nothing was "new" or unexpected. She also verified that I received everything. I am missing a few items that were on the prescription request, so I need to call the pharmacy back and get those to arrive. Luckily, that's for medication I won't be taking until mid-December.

Then, the nurse started going over additional "packet" information: pre- and post- egg retrieval and egg transfer. We even went over what happens when I get pregnant. Which was a bit crazy, because I know IVF isn't a for-sure thing... but I sure feel very optimistic that it'll lead to pregnancy. It was nice hearing the positivity from the nurse as well!

Fingers crossed!!

IVF Payment

IVF Payment was due in full today. Luckily the price went down significantly since I was so close to meeting my out-of-pocket fees. Not too bad, considering. Here's what it came down to:

Line Item	Estimated Price	Actual Price	NOTE
Estimated Co-Payments or Co-Insurance	$1,600.00	$329.00	Will go down when I meet Out of Pocket Maximum.
Estimated Deductible	$0.00	$0.00	Already Met
Professional Fees	$0.00	$0.00	Billed to Insurance
Laboratory Fees	$0.00	$0.00	Billed to Insurance
Anesthesia Fees	$0.00	$0.00	Billed to Insurance
ICSI	$1,525.00	$1,525.00	Not covered by insurance.
Embryo Cryopreservation	$500.00	$0.00	Insurnace covers first year.
HCG Pregnancy Test	$35.00	$35.00	Collected at time of service.
Total Amount Due to RE Office	$3,660.00	$1,889.00
Credit Card Charge		$111.24	Charge for using CC vs Cash
Medication - 1st Round	$4,000.00	$245.00	Approximately, pending costs
Medication - 2nd Round			TBD - need to order PIO
Donor Sperm	$530.00	$530.00	Donor#4
Acupunture	$730.00	$730.00	$150 initial, $85 after, $325 day of transfer. Will Change, depending on how many treatements I receive.
Total Out of Pocket Costs	$8,920.00	$3,505.24

I'm feeling very optimistic about this process right now! I keep thinking that there's a possibility I'll have actual embryos in just a few weeks. Originally, this process felt like it was dragging. Now, it almost feels rushed - like I'm jumping right in.

What was also nice to note is, my RE's office is open on the weekends for IVF. I didn't know this previously, because they are not open on the weekend for IUI's. Which I thought was very interesting...! But this is GREAT news because I was worried with the "what if" things fall on the weekend thing.

Moving forward and moving along this IVF-world. Hoping and praying my Baby C is at the end of all this.

The rest of the week: 

• 11/19/15: first Lupron injection! 
• 11/20/15 @ 11am: First Acupuncture session. 
• 11/21/15 @ 1pm: Our ADOPTION!!! 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Medication Ordering Debacle

IVF is about to get r-e-a-l! I start my first IVF medications in a few days.

The problem: I didn't received a call from my pharmacy to place my order.

Why meds are needed now: 

1. My injections class is on Wed, 11/18. I need to bring all medication with me. Mostly so they can verify that you have everything for your IVF cycle (no last minute freak outs if something is missing). 
2. My first injections start on Thurs, 11/19! First Lupron shots. 

DAY #1 (11/12)

Call #1: The Pharmacy. My IVF calendar advises that if I don't receive a call from the pharmacy by one week of starting meds, to give them a call. As of this morning (11/12), I haven't received a phone call. Therefore, I call the pharmacy. They said they haven't received the prescription request from my RE's office. The pharmacy confirmed their fax #, just in case and said to have my doctor's office send in the prescription request. 

Call #2: The RE's Office. I call my RE's office to let them know that the pharmacy hasn't received the prescription request. The nurse has a fax confirmation that says it was submitted and received on 11/9. We confirmed the fax # was correct and she said she will re-fax this morning. She advised me to call the pharmacy back this afternoon if I don't hear from them before then -- that way the nurse can re-fax (if needed) and so that I don't get too far behind schedule. 

Side Note: This isn't the first time a pharmacy has "lost" a prescription fax request. It happened for a few of my IUI cycles. The difference was, I was dealing with a local speciality pharmacy and it's quicker to get the medication. This time around, I'm dealing with my insurance pharmacy (now that IVF is a covered service) and I think they'll be shipping it to me (instead of a personal delivery to my front door). 

Call #3: The Pharmacy. Waited and waited, but no call from the pharmacy. When afternoon rolled around, I gave them a call back. "Amazingly" the rep was able to find my info that was sent on Monday (when the earlier rep was not). However, I was in the wrong department - I needed to go the "Specialty Pharmacy".

Transfer #1 to: the Specialty Pharmacy. They've received the prescription, everything is OK with it. However, my benefits haven't been confirmed. So, they transferred me to the "Benefits Team."

Transfer #2 to: the Pharmacy Benefits Team. Rep said that they just received the request earlier today. Rep said she has to work on it and will give me a call back by the end of the day. That even if things weren't approved, she would call me back just to give me a status update. There may be additional paperwork that needs to be completed by my RE's office and/or Insurance.

Side Note: Never received a call back on this day (as promised) from the Benefits Team.

DAY #2 (11/13)

Call #4: the Pharmacy Benefits Team. The Rep called me the next morning to give me an update. It turns out that there are "prior authorization" forms that need to be completed by my RE's office. So, the Benefits Rep contacted my RE's office and faxed them the forms. Now, the Pharmacy Benefits Team is waiting to receive the completed authorization forms from my RE's office... all before I can order. The Rep said she would call me back once she received the authorization forms.

All I could think is: tick-tock-tick-tock. Time's a-wasting! And, how much is this going to cost me?? 

Side Note: No call back...  

DAY #3 & #4 - Closed! The Weekend :( 

Tried not to freak out all weekend waiting and wondering if I would get this all sorted out on time.

Thoughts: Injections class is Wednesday and I start my first shots on Thursday. Will this get resolved on time? Ugh. 

DAY #5 (11/16)

Call #5: the Pharmacy Benefits Team. I called and left a message for the benefits rep. 

Call #6: the Pharmacy Benefits Team. Received a call from the benefits rep, letting me know everything has been approved and I can order. She transferred me to the scheduling team. 

Transfer: to Scheduling. Of course they call while I was at the RE's office for my appointment for my Saline U/S and Trial Transfer. So I told them I'd have to call them back. 

Call #7: Scheduling. After my appointment, I called them back and was FINALLY able to place my order. The only hitch, they said that the Progesterone In Oil (PIO) was only good for 30 days. I'm not scheduled to start PIO until after Egg Retrieval (ER) on about 12/10... So the PIO can go bad before then. So, I opted to not order PIO right now and will order it closer to ER. 

Final Verdict: medications arriving on 11/17/15. 

Never thought it would be so difficult to order my medication! During my IUI's I had no problems from the local pharmacies, they were quick and efficient. But now that my insurance has finally kicked in, it's like running around in circles. <sigh>  Hopefully I won't have to go through this again and this IVF cycle will be a success. This was just so frustrating.

DAY #6 (11/17)

Medications Finally Arrived!

Ok, I have to admit -- I was expecting a box of meds. I received two boxes of meds. I wasn't really intimidated with all the injections that I have to do during IVF... not until I received all these medications! It's a bit intimating seeing it all there. I quickly refrigerated the appropriate medications and went through the boxes. Honestly, I'm not really sure how to "verify" all the meds! But luckily tomorrow, at injections class, I'll get everything verified and get a better handle on all of these meds.

IVF is about to become a real thing now... I keep thinking about it and wondering how it's all going to turn out. One step at a time...

The rest of the week: 

• 11/18/15 @ 9am: Injections Class
• 11/19/15: first Lupron injection! 
• 11/20/15 @ 11am: First Acupuncture session. 
• 11/21/15 @ 1pm: Our ADOPTION!!! 

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Sonohysterogram and Trial Transfer

In January, I did Sonohysterogram as part of my pre-screening. They found a uterine defect and I had to have a hysteroscopy surgery in February to have it removed. It turned out it was a polyp. My RE said he wanted to repeat the Sonohysterogram (uses ultrasound to look at the inside of your uterus - a  salt, saline, solution is put in the uterus for a clearer image) to make sure that a new polyp or fibroid hasn't developed. Apparently about 20% of polyps grow back! Having the surgery delayed my first IUI procedure by two months.

At my IVF consult, my RE said if we found something I may need to have another hysteroscopy... which would delay my IVF cycle. He said, "I'm not trying to get you through an IVF cycle, I'm trying to get you pregnant." I liked that he said that and appreciate his honesty. So, going into the Sonohysterogram I was a bit nervous they would find something again.

When I arrived at the RE's office, they wanted to do another urine sample. Not sure what they're testing for this go-around. I really should ask next time. I just blindly go through tests without asking. I guess I trust my RE's office a little too much!

Mock/Trial Transfer 

The mock/trial transfer wasn't too bad. Although I don't think I'll ever get used to that darn speculum!! The actual catheter they inserted wasn't bad, just tickled. RE said that it went in smoothly and that my cervix is within the normal range, 7.5mm, I think he said. So there shouldn't be an issue with Egg Transfer. 

Sonohysterogram 

Went well, wasn't as crampy as I remember the first go-around. The best news ever: NO uterine defects and NO cysts. Woohoo! Good news. It's ok to move forward with the cycle. 

It's a little crazy with IVF because at any monitoring appointment, the cycle can get cancelled. Just going from one step to another. I swear I was holding my breath until he said everything looked good. 

Medications 

Medications FINALLY got ordered!!! I'll write a seperate post on that drama. But good news, medications arrive tomorrow. 

Donor #4 Arrived 

Received confirmation that the donor sperm arrived at the RE's office... All set to go. 

Other Stuff 

I'm on vacation this week from work and go on adoption leave starting next week. Which means, I'm not working again until the New Year! Yay :) 

This week is busy-busy prepping for the adoption. 5 more days!!! We took our family pictures yesterday and they turned out pretty good. 

I found time today to get a massage -- which was desperately needed! 

Week Overview: 

• 11/17/15: medications being delivered 
• 11/18/15 @ 9am: Injections Class
• 11/19/15: first Lupron injection! 
• 11/20/15 @ 12pm: First Acupuncture session. 
• 11/21/15 @ 1pm: Our ADOPTION!!! 

For more details on my IVF process, see IVF Calendar/Timeline.

Edited to Add: the urine test was a pregnancy test. Needed to be done prior to the Saline U/S. 

Gratitude: Week of 11/8/15

Last week, I was grateful for: 

1. Old college friends 
2. College football games 
3. Sharing experiences with friends 
4. First college football game for my son :)  
5. Watching my son being so social 
6. Having Little Guy call Munchkin his "butha" aka brother. 
7. The Christmas season! 
8. Starting family holiday traditions 
9. Putting up the Christmas tree! 
10. Watching Little Guy sleep so peacefully 
11. When the kids sleep past 6am!! Yay! 
12. Hectic mornings with the kids, because even when it's tough - I'm still forever grateful to have them. 
13. Getting consistent with building a budget 
14. Those that have served or are serving in the military. 
15. Our emergency response personnel (firefighters, police) 
16. Brushing my teeth with my son. He's fascinated with learning how to spit. Lol. 

One More Week until our Adoption!!!

I can't explain the joy that I feel finally being able to PLAN our adoption finalization celebration! I've gone back and forth on what the day would look like and how we would celebrate. Now, it's only ONE week away!!

Deciding on National Adoption Day (NAD) was a great choice for a lot of reasons, but mostly because 1) we get to video record it and 2) more friends can attend :) It does however put a kink into having a finalization party. Originally, if I adopted during the week - I would have had the finalization party on a Saturday. Now, the adoption is on a Saturday and the court house is almost an hour away from my house. So, I had to play with a few different ideas.

I decided to invite everyone to the court hearing. I want to share the special day with everyone. Plus, NAD has a lot of activities for kids - so it'll be fun for little ones. Then after the court hearing, we'll head over to a pizza place that's nearby (about 12 minutes from the court house). We'll eat and chat there, plus the kids can play. Hopefully it all works out.

Etsy Shopping:  

I've never shopped on Etsy before, believe it or not! But I found some great things on there and shopped almost exclusively on Etsy for this event: 

• Found these awesome Invitations. They were mailed at the beginning of the month.  
• Wishes for Baby and Advice for Mom. Included in Invitation mailing and already started receiving some back! Yay :) 
• Thank You Cards 
• Amazing Guest Book on Etsy. 
• Special Gift for Little Guy 

Here's all of the invites that I sent out: 

Here are some other things:

• Hershey Adoption Announcement - these turned out really cute! 
• Letter from President, did you know they do adoption announcements and a lot of other greetings as well: White House Greetings. This will be completed after the adoption is finalized. 
• Family Photos - will include in Christmas Card. My friend was nice enough to do photos for us, to save us a little money. We are taking them tomorrow. Hoping they turn out nice! 
• Since the adoption is so close to sending out Christmas cards, I decided to combine the Adoption announcement with the Christmas card. Found this awesome adoption timeline announcement on Etsy. One side will be this adoption timeline and the other will be our Christmas greeting. Can't wait to see how these turn out. I customized the timeline to fit our adoption scenario. 
• My friend made this amazing sign for us: 

I'm so excited and can't believe in only 7 days, my Little Guy will officially be my forever son. I've been dreaming about this day and I can't wait! Counting down the days :)

One Year Later: Trying to Conceive as a Single Mother by Choice

I can't believe it's been one year since I had my first meeting with my RE. When I started this journey in November 2014, I was optimistic - I was excited. I thought, "Wow, I could have a baby in 2015!"

That quickly changed to: "Will I get pregnant in 2015?"

Then: "Can I ever get pregnant?" 

Trying to have a baby in a non-traditional way has been an interesting path to go down. Going down the Single Mother by Choice (SMC) road has been different than I expected it to be.

At first, I was so excited about Trying to Conceive (TTC). I've been thinking about going down this path for years and now I was finally taking steps to fulfill this life-long dream of having a birth child. I opened up to a few select friends about my journey. Some things I didn't expect:

• That my insurance wouldn't cover any of the procedures until 6 failed monitored and medicated rounds. 
• Friends telling their other friends/family about what I was going through because it was different and interesting. 
• Friends telling me I'm crazy and should just go to a bar and have sex with a stranger instead of buying donor sperm. Because buying sperm is just weird. 
• Getting excited, "Are you pregnant yet?" inquiries from my friends. 
• When I had an unsuccessful cycle, having people tell me: "It just wasn't meant to be. It'll happen if it's supposed to happen." 

At the beginning I was really open about the experience. I think partly because I just *knew* I was going to get pregnant and I was just waiting for this wonderful thing to happen. Then, try after try, IUI after IUI -- I wasn't pregnant. 

• Insurance not covering any expenses became burdensome. 
• Friends sharing my TTC journey with others, without my permission, was offensive and hurtful. 
• Friends telling me that I should just have sex with a stranger, made me feel defensive and offended.
• Having people inquire cycle after cycle and sharing negative after negative -- became depressing. 
• Hearing words like, "It just wasn't meant to be" HURT. It hurts REALLY bad. I know no one is intentionally trying to be hurtful, but that doesn't change how badly it made me feel. 

As a SMC, the experience trying to have a baby on my own has been a struggle. Especially now that I am moving forward with IVF treatments and being diagnosed with "unexplained infertility." 

Infertility. That's a powerful word. It's a scary word. It's a word I was hoping I would never use to describe my TTC process. Especially when I have so many friends that have had absolutely NO issues getting pregnant and even some that have had unexpected pregnancies. It hurts. It's devastating. 

I've had to go through all of this alone. This entire year, I have had no one that was 100% invested in this process as I am. I'm completely fine with being a SMC. But there are times I imagine it would be really nice to share all the down times with. 

Purchasing donor sperm is kind of weird! But at the same time, it was kind of fun thinking about the possibilities and being able to vet medical issues ahead of time. Each IUI, I would think: "A stranger's sperm is swimming inside of me." Odd thoughts and mixed feelings about the entire sperm donor thing. But the reality is, using donor sperm through a sperm bank is the safest way for me to have a baby. Plus, I kind of like the idea of parenting on my own. There are burdens with being 100% responsible and making 100% of the decisions. But I'm fine with that. Now that I've been going through this process for so long, I'm now OK with the thought of donor sperm. 

As time has gone on and I haven't gotten pregnant, I've become less vocal about the process, sharing less and less. Mostly because it was becoming harder emotionally for me. I've continued to blog, of course. But only a few select people that know me in real life have my blog URL. Why blog? I don't know if anyone is really reading this blog. But it's been self-therapy for me. A way to talk about all I've been going through, to process it in a systematic way, to clear my head. I've also found some great information in other people's blogs. I hope that if someone comes across my blog, they'll get some information out of it that can help them in their TTC journey. 

I still can't believe it's been a year since I actively started this process. I still can't believe that I'm moving towards IVF. At the beginning of all this, I told myself that I would not do IVF. It was my hard line in the sand that I would not pass. I really did think that if the IUI's didn't work, that I would be OK with stopping there and believing that it just wasn't my path to take. 

There's this weird thing that happens when you're TTC. It's hard to explain to those that haven't been on this journey of trying to have a baby. It's hard to explain to those that can't imagine how much I've spend on this process. It's just hard for people to understand in general. It's even hard for ME to understand at times... 

But, once you start this journey to have this wonderful hoped for baby - it's hard to give up on that dream. The dream of having this baby is so tangible, I just can't imagine my life without him/her. There have been times where I felt like this was just too much, that I wanted to stop, that I couldn't continue on with this process, that I couldn't afford it, that I hated the medication, that I hated giving myself injections, that I hated the time it took to make monitored appointments.

It would have been so-so-so easy to just STOP. Just not move forward. 

But I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about this wonderful dream of becoming a birth mother. Of being pregnant with this baby that I've hoped and dreamed about since I was a little girl. I just couldn't give up because the dream is still possible. Even with the unexplained infertility diagnosis, even through the costs, even through the time, even with all the injections, even with the medication-craziness that happens, even through the surgeries, even through all the uncertainty of this process. I just can't give up yet. Not until I've tried everything imaginable I could do to try and have Baby C. 

What's scary about this process is that I have no clue how it's going to end... Will Baby C be at the end of this road? Will there be another obstacle to having a baby? I just don't know. 

For now, I'm continuing on. I'm not giving up. One year later, I think I'm more determined to have this baby. The difference is, the rose-colored glasses are off. I know it's not going to be easy to conceive and I might have more mileage to trudge down this road until I get to the end. 

What still hasn't changed, I'm still  hoping and praying for my Baby C. Hoping IVF is the magic process to make Baby C a reality. 

Cycle #7, IVF #1: Choosing Donor #4

Here I am again, choosing a new sperm donor - this time for my first IVF Cycle. IVF, still hard for me to believe I'm here doing this.

Discussion with Embryologist 

Before I ordered, I called the Embryologist at my RE's office. I haven't worked with her before, since I've only done IUI's. Surprisingly, she called back QUICK and she's really-really nice! I liked her immediately. My questions were around: # of vials needed and type of vial needed. She said I can order an ART vial, which is amazing because it's HALF the price of IUI vials! YES, half the price! I am thrilled about this. ART vials have less sperm vs. IUI vials. For IVF, you don't need as many sperm - especially since I am doing ICSI.

This was the BEST news ever. Saving a little money feels really good.

Choosing Donor #4 

Technically, I can use 2 out of my 3 previous donors, as they have ART vials available.

Donor #1: Used for IUI's 1-4. Not available / no vials
Donor #2: Used for IUI 5. Available
Donor #3: Used for IUI 6. Available

I've decided to go with a new donor -- Donor #4.  I took a look at my previous donors and it's not that I didn't *like* them - I totally did! I just decided to take a new look at different possibilities.

What's interesting and different about doing IVF is that I'm doing ICSI, so the chances of my eggs getting fertilized are higher than a normal IUI where you don't even know if sperm met egg. There's a lot of pressure on Donor #4 because he most likely will be "the one" to help me have Baby C.

Some things stayed the same in my search criteria:

• Height - Over 6 feet tall. 
• Eyes - blue (preferred - not mandatory) 
• No Jewish Ancestry
• Has available ART Vials 
• No Diabetes 
• No major allergies 
• Proven Donor 

What's new: 

• Extended Testing - not all the donors at the sperm bank I've chosen have had extended testing. I didn't really look into that previously. Now, with doing IVF and ICSI - it kind of matters a little more to me. 

Once I inputted that criteria, the number of potential donors shrank. None of my previous donors were included in the Extended Testing. 

There was one donor who popped out to me, his profile caught my eye right away. He met my original search criteria + the extended testing. I liked his profile too. I emailed the sperm bank and received additional photos. The donor's baby pictures are adorable! 

Making the Purchase

The actual purchase was straight forward, since I've purchased from them for my previous donors. I stuck with the same sperm bank since I've had amazing customer service from them. Now, I have downloaded all the information off the website for this donor. My 3 month subscription to donor profiles will be expiring at the end of this month. Hopefully I won't have to order donor sperm ever again!! Will see how it goes...! I only ordered 1 ART vial. Believe it or not, Donor #4 only had 1 ART vial available for purchase. Glad I was able to snatch it up.

Next Step: Donor Sperm to arrive by 11/16.

For more details on my IVF process, see my IVF Calendar/Timeline.