A month off of TTC + IUI Cycle #3 Game Plan

A Month Off 

For the last few months it felt like forever just to get started with Cycle #1. The pre-tests, the pre-consultations, the surgery, buying sperm.  I prepared myself to just TRY. There are no guarantees it'll work. Yet, there's all this hope. If I were being honest, I never thought that it wouldn't work! I thought I'd be one of the lucky ones and get pregnant within the first few tries.

Cycle #1 happened. Not pregnant.

Cycle #2 happened. Not pregnant.

All that waiting to just try and then bam - cycle #1 and cycle #2 felt like a whirlwind, went by so fast (accept the TWW of course!). It can be an all consuming thing, trying to get pregnant. Just trying and hoping. Spending all this $ on something that is not guaranteed.

During and after Cycle #2, I started to have major doubts and started to worry that maybe - just maybe - I will never get pregnant... I know I've only gone through two cycles, but the negatives were devastating. It's hard putting all this love and hope into something and then have it not be successful.

I really needed a month off to gain some prospective. At first, I was angry that I would have to take an entire month off!! More delay in trying. I'm not getting any younger! But it couldn't have come at a better time. Life is getting a little more "clearer".

• Little Guy's adoption is going to happen!!! 
• Little Miss will be leaving in a few weeks to be back with family. 
• All my big travel plans (and the stress that goes with that) are over. 

I also started to ask myself, "Will I be happy with just Little Guy and me?" I absolutely adore Little Guy! He is my world right now. But... I would feel like our two-person Family C would be missing someone. Missing our much loved and hoped for Baby C. I really want Little Guy to have a sibling. I also always wanted to have birth children... I would like to have at least 2 children with a max of 3. 

I've decided to continue on with TTC and am committed to going through as many as 6 IUI cycles before reevaluating. If I have 6 failed IUI's, then I'll think about IVF or possibly adoption or just continue to provide foster care. 

It's a little funny to think about it... but I never imagined my life turning out this way! Would I change anything? Absolutely NOT!

I wouldn't change anything because that would mean I wouldn't have Little Guy in my life right now and I wouldn't trade him for the world. So, maybe TTC doesn't work - maybe it does... I'm sure that in the end it is all going to turn out as it should and we will add to our family the way it was meant to be. I just know that we will be adding at least one more child to our family, it's just a matter of how that will happen. 

I really needed this TTC break. Being off of fertility meds has been heavenly! It's great feeling normal. Also, all the stress that goes with Cycling wasn't here this month. There is just so much riding on getting that BFP. This dream of dreams to complete my family... The hope. The love. It can be a bit much at times. Never realized how much stress I was holding onto until it wasn't there anymore. 

IUI Cycle #3 Plan 

I met with my RE today to discuss "next steps" and come up with a Game Plan. He doesn't think we need to go to full-on injectables. He's suggesting a "mini stimulation" round:

+ Clomid or Femara (Letrizole) for 5 days
+ FSH stimulating hormone (Bravelle, Follistim, or Goanl-F) for 3 days
+ Pregnyl Trigger 
+ Progesterone Vaginal Suppository 

I haven't decided if I want to do Clomid again or go with Femara... I have a few more weeks before I need to decide. My RE doesn't have a preference either way. I've decided to go with Bravelle, because it's cheaper and should have the same results.

He also discussed an Injections or "full stimulation" round which would be FSH stimulating hormone (no clomid or femara). FSH 75 iu/day for 10-14 days. More ultrasounds, about 3-5 and blood work. I ruled this one out (for now) because of the increase of costs.

I also discussed IVF with him. He said my BMI needs to be under 40 in order for them to do IVF with me. However, if it's between 37-40 that they have to do a consultation with the other RE (there are two RE's in my office) to see if they want to proceed... I'm going to have to work on getting my weight down if I end up going this route.

Let's see what happens on Cycle #3. Hopefully it will be successful and I won't have to worry about moving towards an injectables-only IUI round or IVF.

"There's no telling how many miles you have to run 

while chasing a dream."

Anonymous