Foster License Renewal

It's a strange thing, I've identified myself as a proud single "Foster Parent" for almost 5 years now (but since starting MAPP class - have been on this journey for closer to 6 years). There have been many times in these past years where I've wanted to stop fostering or wondered when the time would come that I would need to stop.

Right now, I'm going through my foster license renewal and: I feel like stopping.

Warning: this is a bit of a rant post. 

Over the years there have been many changes to the foster care system and the foster parent renewal procedures. This year, my State implemented some Foster Parent Changes in Licensing Procedures, adding additional mandatory training: Car Seat Training, First Aid Training, and a 3-hour "Reasonable and Prudent Parenting" Training. They also made stricter guidelines to the Life-Safety Home Inspection.

There are already a lot of requirements in order to maintain your license. There is absolutely NO PRIVACY when you're a foster parent. If you go see a therapist, you need to disclose that and even sign away your rights to privacy, giving the state permission to view your records with your therapist if they want to. There are health disclosures and even having a Physician Statement to say you're in good health. This is where I got annoyed during this renewal period...

Since I'm going through IVF, I'm on a bunch of medication. Well, I had to disclose that and my physician included it on the disclosure. My Licensing Worker (LW) inquired about the medication asking, "Are these for fertility treatments?"

As a caveat, I'm in my TWW for my FET#1 -- so I'm overly emotional at the moment.

So, when my LW inquired into my medications and had to be all up in my business on them having to KNOW that I'm doing fertility treatments -- it pissed me off! Why does the State have to know that I'm on fertility treatments? Why is it any of their business? It's not like I'm doing illegal drugs or doing anything shady. It's not like fertility treatments impact my judgement/capability as a foster parent. I'm trying to have a baby for goodness sake. As if infertility wasn't such a hard thing for me to discuss in the first place, now I have to have it on record with the State in order to maintain my foster license.

It just makes me so angry. Here I am, being a foster parent for 5 years now, having absolutely all my business and family history violated. Which was difficult disclosing all my family drama ON PAPER for the RECORD, back when I was first licensed. Of course I even had to disclose to them that I was laid off from my job and provide all my severance information. Now, that I'm doing fertility treatments - all of that's going to be on there. It's just a bit much right now.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Signing up to be a foster parent and being a foster parent for this long, I went into it knowing what the requirements were and how much I was going to have to disclose. So it's not unexpected or a surprise... But disclosing the fertility treatments... it hurts. For women that suffer from infertility, it's not an easy topic to discuss (I plan to get into that more on a different post). It feels likes such a personal violation to have that "on the record."

I don't have any choice but to renew my foster license right now because I still have Munchkin. But once he leaves, I am seriously considering closing my license for good. Which feels good and bad at the same time. I love being a foster parent. I just don't love the process of all these disclosures (even though I totally get why it's necessary in some cases). But there has to be a LINE somewhere. A line where foster parents can still have some iota of privacy. Having absolutely no privacy and all your personal business out there just sucks. I think it's starting to take a toll on me after all these years.

Additionally, with all these changes in my life -- being a foster parent might just not be the right choice going forward. Have to see how things play out with Munchkin's case and then deal with closing my license after he leaves.

Just to add, I sometimes think it would be such a relief to close my license. It would be so great to not have to follow the life-safety home inspection rules (keep my vitamins in my medicine cabinet vs locked up), not to have people coming in/out of my home every month, to have my water temperature where I want it to be, and to not have to disclose every little thing about my personal life to the government.