Our 2nd “Family Day”

My son’s 2nd adoption anniversary is this month. It’s so weird that he has only been my “legal” son for 2 years. It’s almost easy to forget how uncertain things were while I was fostering him and how I lived in fear that something would happen and CPS would take him from me. Now, he’s almost 4 and he has such a personality. He’s also starting to understand “adoption” a little more. 

I know there’s so much controversy on celebrating Adoption Days. I don’t really look at is as “celebrating,” I look at it more like “remembering”... talking about how we became a family & reflecting on it. I think as my son gets older that he will have more say in how and what we do to “commemorate” our adoption. 

I actually don’t call it “adoption day” or “gotcha day.” I don’t really like those phrases. I refer to it as our “Family Day.” Now that baby boy has arrived, I’m planning to integrate both of their stories in our “family day” tradition. We have a unique situation where one Child is adopted and one Child is donor conceived through IVF. I think I only know (virtually) one other person that has a similar situation as me. 

Technically, I can let Family Day slide and not do anything... but for me, it took a lot to build my family - it’s been a long journey for me. My boys don’t know anything more than just being in our family. But it’s important for me that they both grow up knowing their stories & how they came to be here, in our family. For my older son, that he knows his birth story and how he came into foster care. For my baby boy, for him to know he was donor conceived. Both of their stories have love and loss, but it’s their stories, their beginnings. It doesn’t define them, but it’s a part of them. As their mother, I feel it’s my responsibility to provide them with their stories. What they do with it as they get older and how they feel about it, will ultimately be up to them. Whether my son decides to get in contact with his birth family will be up to him. Whether my son decides to contact his donor will be up to him. 

Now, I’m not shoving it down their throats!! But I do want my boys to become comfortable with the terms and verbiage of their births. Adoption is not a bad thing. Donor conceived is not a bad thing. It’s our family’s story. But most importantly, our family story is rooted in love. 

I watched the 6 minute adoption video from my son’s adoption hearing. I can’t watch that video without crying...!!! It’s kind of a funny video because the hearing was during nap time and my son was throwing his toys, laughing, trying to run everywhere, and being all 2 year old “him.” I was trying to contain him, keep him entertained, and answer the questions from the lawyers — at the same time. It’s really fun to watch. Even today, almost 2 years later - I can’t believe how lucky I am to have been chosen to be his Mama. 

When I talk to my son, I tell him that God brought us together to make us a family. Now, my son repeats that phrase to me and he’s started including baby brother, “and God brought baby brother too.” :) I find it funny because when I ask him who’s apart of our family, he says “Mama, baby brother, me, Suki (our dog), our house, our car.” 

I’m sure this new tradition of celebrating our Family Day will change and merge and evolve. This year, this is what we are doing: 

1. I FINALLY finished my son’s adoption book!!!! I’m going to give it to him and read it to him. I made a photo book that has pictures of his birth parents and his time in foster care all the way through our adoption day. As the years go on, I’m planning to add to it. Add more age appropriate verbiage. Add more pictures. Add a family tree, as he has two! 
2. Bake a cake or brownies together. Light candles, kinda like a “prayer” for: his birth family, our forever family, all those that help foster children (judges, social workers, GAL’s, foster agencies, etc.), all the foster children to find permanency, & baby brother’s donor family. 

Eventually, we will add baby brother’s story to the “reading” of how we became a family. I need to make it first!!! (I’m so behind on photo books!). Right now, I plan for each to have their “own” books. But one day, I think it might be nice to have a “combined” book that we read that includes some of my story on fostering and going through fertility treatments. 

I also would like to volunteer on National Adoption Day with the boys, when they’re older. 

One thing I will be doing this year is “adopt a child.” My company works with a local shelter to help provide a “wish list” for Christmas. It’s actually the same shelter my foster agency works with, so it’s near to my heart as one of my foster Kids came from the shelter. This year, I’m going to “adopt a child” and have my son help me pick things for him/her. I’m going to talk about foster care and giving.... try to make it an annual thing. 

As our 2 year adoption-versary is just a few days away... I feel so grateful for our little family. For my boys. I pray that I do right by them and set them up to be kind & happy men. 

... and that I don’t screw them up! Lol ;) 

Wow, time is flying -- Thinking about Baby #3

I had my Women's Wellness visit today and was able to meet with my OB. My OB is pregnant! What I didn't know when I was pregnant is that she went through IVF for her first and used the RE that I have a consult with next month. She was surprised when she got pregnant "the old fashioned" way with her current pregnancy, as she suffered from infertility when trying for her first and was gearing up to do IVF again. Very happy for her!

To be honest about everything, every since I was pregnant I had contemplated whether I would try for a third. It's been on my mind a lot. Mostly because I knew that I would have to go through another IVF retrieval if I attempted again... and I knew the timing would be really tight due to my fertility issues. 

Well, I spoke to my OB about "when can I try again?" She said it's best to wait 18 months to let your body recover 100% from birth. We also talked a bit about my diabetes. 

Here's the deal with my diabetes. It was 100% controlled without meds prior to starting fertility treatments. When I started fertility treatments, my diabetes started to get a little wonky, so we added Metformin. As you know, once I was pregnant my diabetes just got crazy hard to manage and I was on insulin my entire pregnancy. Now that I'm nursing, my glucose levels are still wonky - which I guess is "expected" and should regulate back to normal after I stop nursing. I have a new endocrinologist that I'm working with to monitor my diabetes post-pregnancy. 

Here's the timeline of things and the steps I'm taking: 

1. RE Consult. I have an RE Consult for IVF in December. It's all about the timing. Timing for weaning my baby, timing for when I could do new fertility workups, timing on when I could do another IVF cycle, timing on when I would be able to do a FET. 
2. MFM Pre-Conception Consult. I am going to schedule an appointment with my much loved MFM! My OB suggested it. But I want to meet with her to discuss what I should do prior to pregnancy (ideal glucose levels, etc.). I'm hoping to get this scheduled in December as well. 

The "real" reason I'm trying to get all these appointments done in 2017 is that I've already met my max out of pocket with my insurance! So, it won't cost me anything. It'll also give me a better understanding of next steps I'll need to take IF I decide to move forward with IVF and try for Baby #3. 

Ok, so am I crazy for wanting to try for a third???????? I just might be! I love our little family with my boys. I'm not 100% sold on trying for a third... I've been going back and forth on it. I've also been considering foster/adopt as well... as my heart longs to foster and adopt again. 

Nothing is set in stone, it's all just trying to look into what it would look like. What I'm trying to do is imagine our family 10 years from now -- 15 years from now -- and 20 years from now, and what I hope that looks like. It's easy to say "No more kids!" when dealing with sleep deprivation or after giving birth or dealing with toddler-tudes. But that's such a short time period and God willing, there will be many years to come and so much more life to live. 

Right now, just dipping my toes in the "What this would look like" IF I try again. I'm hoping to get some clarity on all this after I meet with my RE and MFM. 

I also have some more goals IF I were to move forward: 

1. Lose weight. 
2. Start eating healthier. 
3. Get my glucose under control. 
4. Save money for IVF. 

Time will tell where this road will take me. 

My Postpartum Experience

Prior to giving birth, I read and read and read about postpartum care. I even attended birthing class that went over it in detail. But nothing, absolutely nothing, can really prepare you for what your body goes through and how you feel after giving birth. 

I’m a few months out from it and I admit, a lot of it is hazy now. After giving birth, you hurt/sore - you’re sleep deprived - there’s just a lot happening. For me, it was the balance of taking care of my newborn with jaundice, caring for my preschooler, taking care of my dog, & just trying to maintain my household. All of this while dealing with my healing postpartum body. Not easy, but not impossible! In hindsight, I think I did too much too soon and should’ve gave my body more time to heal. Overall though, I think postpartum went relatively smoothly for me. 

Weird Stuff 

The thing that was the hardest was having all the blood/discharge - official word is “lochia.” It was like a waterfall falling out of your vagina, no kidding. There was absolutely no way to control it. Every single time I stood up, it would go flowing. I had to go to the bathroom every hour, on the hour, to avoid soiling myself. I admit, there were a few times that I missed my window of opportunity and the lochia got all over the bathroom floor. So - so gross, & it sucked having to clean it up! Yuck. 

Pre-baby, I thought I would breastfeed him in bed. That didn’t happen in the beginning. Breastfeeding actually triggered my body to have free flowing lochia! If I was laying down, it would get everywhere - even if I was wearing a pad. So each time I had to feed the baby, I had to get out of bed and sit on the couch. Very difficult postpartum to accomplish at times! Also, I had to make sure I went to the bathroom before feeding baby at night, because once I got up — the waterfall hit. My routine: 

• Baby starts to cry
• I stumble out of bed in a sleep-deprived haze to the bathroom before it leaked everywhere
• Baby continues to cry, waiting for me to be done, try to hurry -- though sometimes the waterfall seemed to last forever 
• Pick up baby 
• Sit on the couch for 30-40 minutes nursing baby — trying to sit "tall" so the lochia wouldn’t leak out the back
• After I put the baby down, I would go to the bathroom again. 
• Repeat about every 2 hours

Lol, fun times for sure. I did put a pad (the blue/white ones they have in the hospital) on my bed when I slept, so that I wouldn’t get any blood on my sheets/mattress. That helped a ton. Not to mention, it’s a bit hard to walk at first. So "rushing" to try and do something, was really like going in super slow motion. Everything just hurts... it got better about a month postpartum for me.

My postpartum bleeding was weird. It really subsided within a week and I thought, "oh that's it?" Then in week two, it picked up and I bled for a few more weeks after that. I can’t remember exactly when the bleeding stopped? Within 8 weeks for sure, but I would guess closer to 6 weeks. I did spot randomly at the end of it and couldn’t predict when that would happen so I wore a pad everyday. 

Peri Care 

They really emphasize peri care, now I know why! My favorite peri Care items: 

• Peri bottle: the hospital gives you a peri bottle, but I needed one for my downstairs bathroom. I got this one and loved it & still use it! Fridababy Fridet, The MomWasher 
• Dermoplast: this stuff feels amazing postpartum! I had to get some extras because I ran out of what the hospital gave me. Dermoplast Pain Relieving Spray-2.75 Oz 
• Witch Hazel pads: these are the best thing ever invented and work great postpartum! I absolutely loved these. It was like sweet relief. BIRCHWOOD LABORATORIES A-E-R Pre-Moistened Witch Hazel Pads, 80 Count 
• Pads: I was able to bring some home from the hospital. But I found these and they were perfect for postpartum when I ran out of the ones the hospital gave me. Always Maxi Overnight Extra Heavy Flow With Wings, Unscented Pads 20 Count (Pack of 2). Some people suggest using adult Depends... but I didn't find it necessary, these were sufficient. 

I had two small tears from giving birth that took a long time to heal. My OB said it probably took longer because of my diabetes and my sugars fluctuating from nursing and postpartum hormone changes. But what I learned is: DO NOT WIPE!! E-V-E-R. Just pat very-very gently. One time I forgot... and ouch! They teach you how to do everything in the hospital right after you give birth. But basically: do your business, use peri bottle to wash, pat gently, spray generously with the dermoplast - like EVERYWHERE, apply new pad, add witch hazel pads, and done. 

I bought some cheap granny panties at Walmart that I used postpartum. Worked perfect, I just went one size bigger than normal and that held the pads in place. 

So... just to be transparent... I don’t think my lady parts felt back to normal until maybe 3-4 months postpartum. I had two issues postpartum: 1) I had a big blood clot 3 weeks postpartum. They say that if it's the size of a golf ball, then you worry. Well, I had one. When I went to the OB, she was like "don't worry about it." Hmm... 2) I was having MAJOR pain every single time I peed about 6 weeks postpartum. I didn't have a UTI. Turns out that I got another small tear by my urethra. OB said it was due to my low estrogen from breastfeeding. I wondered if it was related to the catheter they put in for the birth? But whatever it was, it hurt like hell. OB gave me estrogen cream to apply to the area. It stopped hurting after about 3 weeks of applying the cream. 

Today, I still have issues with being able to “hold” my pee. When I have to go, I need to go “right now!” And not wait. Who has time for Kegels? I won’t even mention the difficultly in going poop after giving birth... but let’s just say it's not fun and it's a bit traumatic! No joke. Like "hold on for dear life" hurts. I think I didn't get "regular" again until maybe 2.5 months postpartum. 

Postpartum Depression (PPD)

I wrote a bit during my pregnancy about experiencing prenatal depression (AKA antenatal depression) here.I thought for sure I would get PPD. Also, considering how stressful things were with my mother (more to come on this) & just how scary it was when my baby had low blood sugars / jaundice (entry here), not to mention just trying to keep my household afloat and care for my Little Guy.

Surprisingly, and thankfully, I had absolutely no PPD. I was emotional at times, yes. But mostly from being grateful I had my little family. Emotional with happiness :) After I gave birth, the prenatal depression basically went away and I was in a “take care of my Kids and figure it out” mode. More problem solving mode than stressed mode, of that makes sense. Even when things were stressful, it wasn’t PPD level, just normal single-new-baby-Mama-sleep-deprived stuff. 

Maternity Clothes 

What’s interesting is I lost all my pregnancy weight within the first week of giving birth. I’m sure I wrote about this sometime before — but I had gained 20 lbs during the 2 years I was TTC. So, I’m no where near where I “should” be ultimately. But honestly, I’m not too concerned about it. It might sound weird, but I think I’m more happy with my body now than I ever was before. My body was able to carry my baby boy & now my body is able to nourish him through breastfeeding (I’ve experienced challenges - but that’ll be a different post). 

I’ve never been a size 2 at my skinniest! And I don’t expect I will ever be in my lifetime. I do have goals I want to reach with my health, that I’m going to start focusing on one day! But right now, I’m fine with my postpartum body. I do still wear some maternity pants!!! They’re just so super comfy. Lol. I also think all my fretting over finding clothes to fit during my pregnancy that would also work for nursing, turned out pretty good! Almost all the clothes I bought in my third trimester are working perfectly for nursing. So yay for multi-use clothes and not wasting money. 

I’m also able to wear some pre-maternity clothing again! Some work for nursing, so that’s nice. But honestly, I prefer the clothing I used during pregnancy. Just super comfy and functional for nursing. Technically, I could wear all my pre-pregnancy clothing, but not all of them work for nursing or pumping. 

Energy 

I remember when I finally felt back to my pre-pregnancy “normal.” If you’ve read my blog while I was pregnant, I was extremely fatigued throughout my entire pregnancy. I was tired (still am!) and my energy levels were at the lowest they’ve ever been and that I've ever experienced in my entire life. I was just so drained all the time. At a little past 2 months postpartum, I started to feel normal again! I had more energy and I was motivated to do more, which was super nice! Even though I was sleep deprived, I felt like "myself" again. 

That is what I remember right now about postpartum and that comes top-of-mind. As I mentioned, a lot is a bit hazy. I wish I had the time/energy to have documented it on-the-go. But considering I haven’t even had time to write a blog post until now, I know in reality, it just wasn’t possible. 

I’m almost five months postpartum now and looking back, it all seems like it went relatively smoothly! I have a long list of topics I want to write about, so hopefully I'll find the time/energy to post more. 

Still here!

It’s been a long time since I’ve blogged! I didn’t anticipate stopping, but can you believe how busy life can be with an active preschooler and a newborn?

It’s been so long since I’ve last posted, that I wasn’t sure if I would continue the blog or not. Just recently I decided that I would like to try and keep up with the Blog because I do enjoy writing! I need something that is an outlet for me. So even if I don’t post frequently, I do want to try and post as much as my life allows. 

Now the tough part! Where to begin to update since my hiatus???? It feels like so much has  happened. I think I’ll need to post about some back topics, as time permits. But just to get up-to-speed with things I hope to write more about in detail later: 

1. My baby is now 20 weeks old! And he is truly a blessing and such a sweet baby. 
2. I went back to work after Labor Day & to be honest — it’s been really tough balancing everything. I miss my baby so darn much.
3. I’m still breastfeeding, after so many challenges! 
4. I’m running into huge challenges with my Little Guy’s behaviors at daycare/preschool, that I’ll have to write about separately.
5. I’ve decided to disengage and separate from my mother after her disastrous visit during my baby’s birth.  
6. I’ve been contemplating having a third baby...! Lol, I might just be a bit crazy. Will have to post on that separately as well to weigh the pros and cons. 

Overall, life is joyful and life is good. It is also extremely busy! My calendar sometimes feels like a jigsaw puzzle. I thought my foster parenting schedule was crazy, but right now this just tops the charts. 

But... I’m happy. I’m grateful. I’m tired! Lol. But I love my boys more than anything and I love our little family. 

More to come! 

Low Blood Sugars and Jaundice

The first week of baby boy's life was pretty rough. So many things didn't go as expected and it was a struggle being sleep deprived, recovering from the birth, and feeling conflicted.

Low Blood Sugars

I knew going into the birth that baby boy might experience low blood sugars... but knowing it might happen and then having it happen -- totally different things. He had to pass 3 blood sugar checks. He passed the first one. The second one, it got lower. Then the third one, it was too low. On his first day of life, he was born at 4:33am and by 11:30am, they took him to the nursery.

It was hard because that meant I didn't have him with me in my room... I also happen to be in the furthest room from the nursery!

When they took him, I decided I would try and get a few hours of sleep. I managed to sleep maybe 2 hours or so? Then I just needed to see him. It was still hard for me to walk, so a nurse wheeled me over to the nursery. When I saw him for the first time in the nursery, I just started to cry. I didn't realize that they'd have to hook him up to an IV and have fluids dripping. Seeing him hooked up to all those monitors still makes me cry today just thinking about it. They also had to poke his foot to check his blood sugars every few hours. It was just heartbreaking. They also started supplementing him with formula to try and get his blood sugars up... since my milk wasn't in yet. He wasn't in his own room, he was in a big room where there were other babies being taken care of. So, I couldn't stay in there 24/7 with him.

The routine went like this:

• Visit baby boy 
• Try to breast feed him 
• Give him formula 
• Pump afterward for 30 minutes 
• Go back to my room and try to sleep 
• Get up and repeat every 3 hours. 

The nurses actually tried to encourage me to skip one of the visits at night time so I can rest... I took them up on that, but I don't think I really "rested" -- I couldn't really sleep being away from him and with all the peri care -- it made it hard to rest more than a few hours, if that. 

On Day #2 of his little life, they did the 24 hour newborn testing on him and it turns out he had jaundice. Once his bili levels were high, they immediately put him under the jaundice lights. After that happened, they would only let me take him off to feed for 30 minutes at a time -- no longer -- every 3 hours. Before, I would be able to breast feed as long as I wanted and I could snuggle with him and do skin-to-skin. I would be int here for about an hour or more at a time. Now, he could only get off the lights for 30 minutes. Jaundice would eventually turn into its own little nightmare. I'll get to that a little later. 

His blood sugars seemed to get regulated and they started weaning him off the IV fluids a little at a time to see if he could maintain them on his own. Eventually by the morning of Day #3, he was 100% weaned from the IV fluids and they were able to remove the IV from his little hand. This was good news! 

Jaundice 

There was a big question mark if baby boy would be released from the hospital with me or if he would have to stay. I was getting released on Day #3 after birth. The said his bili levels were good and they were going to take him off the lights and then retest him. If his levels remained low, he could go home. If they went back up, he'd have to stay. So, the morning of Day #3 -- I was able to take him back to the room with me with NO tubes attached to him. 

It was so wonderful to have him in my arms and have him not attached to anything... I was getting discharged that afternoon and just hoping I'd be able to bring him with me... I would cry just thinking of not being able to bring him home with me. Well, they did his bili test and they said it was fine to bring him home (Yay!), but that I would need to bring him to the pediatrician the next day to recheck his bili levels. 

Day #4, I brought him to the pediatrician in the morning. She said he didn't look bad and that she thought it would come back fine. Then I received a call at 3pm and the levels were NOT fine. They were REALLY high. So high in fact, that baby boy had to be readmitted to the hospital. 

I was scared. I was devastated. We had just ONE night at home and now I would have to leave him in the hospital... and not to mention time away from my Little Guy... But I'll get to that in a different entry. 

Baby Boy got admitted to a children's hospital, different than the hospital I delivered at and further away. I was so heartbroken originally thinking that he'd be so far from me and not knowing how I was going to manage visiting him and leaving him alone for so long. 

When I got to the hospital, turns out that I could stay in-room with him!!! I didn't know this, since I hadn't been to that hospital before. I made arrangements for Little Guy to stay with his god mother and then I went home to pack up some clothes for me. At this point, there was no way to know how long he would be in the hospital. They re-took his bili levels and his levels went UP again!! Really high, only a few points away from the point of needing a transfusion... really scary stuff. 

They immediately put him back on the lights and I was able to stay in the room with him. My milk came in that day and I was actually able to pump and get something! 

We ended up staying in the hospital on Day #4, Day #5, and being discharged on Day #6. His bili levels looked good, but they still wanted me to get the pediatrician to look at him the following Monday. 

On the following Monday, Day #8, the pediatrician said he looked good and wasn't even going to check his bili levels. But I insisted that they check them, just to give me peace of mind. Plus, they were already doing his one-week newborn screening -- might as well do the extra test. Turns out -- his levels went back up AGAIN!!! But they weren't so far up to have to go back into the hospital. Instead, I got a bili blanket for home and I had to keep him wrapped in that all day. Same thing as the hospital -- only out of the blanket for 30 minutes at a time every 3 hours. 

We went to the pediatrician on Day #9 and Day #10 to check his bili levels. On Day #11 we were able to do a "trial run" and take him off the blanket for 24 hours and retest his bili levels again on Friday, Day #12, to see if they were stabilized or not. 

Finally we received good news -- his bili levels were finally stable. We could stop the bili blanket. 

He is still a little yellow... but at least his levels are stable. 

But I'm grateful that the jaundice and low blood sugar scares are behind us now. I don't think I became comfortable or felt things could start our new "normal" until these things were resolved. I was just so scared for him and worried that it meant something more. Luckily his newborn screening came back perfectly fine. So, nothing is wrong with baby boy. That was reassuring. We just had to let it pass. 

It was a tough first two weeks of life for my baby boy and tough postpartum start for me... More to come on postpartum stuff. 

My Induction Story and my Son's Birth - Day #3

Here is the end of my induction story and the beginning of my baby boy's life! For more information on my induction, see previous entries:

Day 1
Day 2

Here's how the final hours went.

Monday, May 29, 2017

The nurse that was taking care of me this night -- I didn't like her that much. She wasn't very warm or even very talkative. A bit cold really. Of course, she ends up being the one to be there for the delivery.

2:45am: The nurse tells me that for first births, it normally takes 1-3 hours of pushing before the baby comes out. So, she says "we're going to practice." We try for 30 minutes and she talks me through how to push and when to push.

We start practicing and it turns out that baby is sunny-side up (meaning he's facing up -- when he should be facing down). When she realizes this, she says we're going to stop and reposition me to try and get him to flip around. She put me in one of the most uncomfortable positions I've been in -- almost on my stomach. It might have been uncomfortable, but it totally worked and he flipped over into the right position.

3:30am: We start pushing again. The pushing sensation is REALLY weird. Even with the epidural, I could feel when I was having contractions. The nurse said not to up the epidural meds, so that I could feel the contractions coming.

The way it felt to me... It felt like I needed to pee, then like I needed to go poo!

So, here I am -- holding my legs (behind my thighs) and bearing down, literally. The nurse puts a mirror so I can watch when I push. It's so weird and sounds strange, but when I was pushing right -- I could totally see it in the mirror - the way that my muscles contracted. So, the mirror definitely helped me out.

Pushing was exhausting... I wasn't sure if I would be able to do it. I was so tired at this point with the lack of sleep, having contractions for days, and just the intensity of the induction -- I didn't know if I could do it.

Eventually, I got the hang of it and I kept pushing right. Then -- I could see his HEAD of hair peaking out!! The nurse said, "one more push and I'll go get the doctor." At this point --- it was still just me and the nurse. My mom was ASLEEP the entire time I was pushing (I'll post more on that later). At this point I get her up and she complains on me waking her up (again, more on this later).

So, I try the ONE more push and he CROWNS!! But the doctor isn't in there yet. The nurse tells me, "Hold it! Do not push! I need to get the doctor."

Here I am, holding my legs -- seeing his head crowned in the mirror -- feeling like I need to push with the contractions -- feeling the pressure of his head crowning -- and I had to WAIT. Wait... OMG. I got a little freaked out at this point because the urge to push was so strong. They say with an epidural that you don't feel pain... guess what, I did. It wasn't just the pressure of his head down there, I felt actual pain.

I think it took the doctor 5 minutes about to get in my room? Felt like an eternity though. She still had to get ready and stuff, so I had to continue holding him in crown.

By the time she comes over to basically catch my baby, I'm a bit freaked out. I'm finally able to push again, so I do -- and I feel the bigger portion of his head come out and I feel myself tear. It hurt so bad, I was cursing and stuff at this point. After that, I wasn't sure if I was pushing or what the heck I was doing. I did feel the rest of his body come out and it was like sweet relief at that point.

4:33am: Then, they put this little baby boy on my tummy. I didn't hear him cry -- so I was like, "Why isn't he crying?" He chose that point to cry and I was so relieved. They did immediate skin-to-skin while the "cleaned me up." My mom cut the umbilical cord.

I cried holding him for the first time... I don't know if I can put in words how it felt. After this long journey to finally get here... all the TTC infertility madness of 11 fertility cycles & 2 years, to the rocky pregnancy plagued with potential issues - bleedings - scares, and then the long induction -- to finally hold my baby boy in my arms felt so surreal and heavenly and wonderful and joyful.

They did have some issues with getting the placenta out, with me bleeding, and my uterus not shrinking. They said since I was on pitocin, that my uterus got tired and didn't want to contract. After the birth, they actually put me back on pitocin to help my uterus out. All in all:

• I didn't poop while pushing! Woohoo! 
• I had two first degree tears (one on top and one on bottom). I didn't even need stitches, they just used some glue stuff. 
• Total Labor Hours: about 42 (from the first cervical ripening to delivery)
• Total time pushing: 1 hour 

Baby boy: 

• 7 lbs, 1 oz 
• 19 inches long 

Not bad for a diabetes baby to be in the "normal" weight range! 

I saw my placenta - which was pretty cool and disgusting at the same time. I was able to do skin-to-skin and try breastfeeding for 2 hours after birth. Just to add - my mom was completely useless during labor. She SLEPT through me pushing and didn't get up until he was crowning. I have other complaints about her - but will save that for another entry.

I have to say, I am a bit traumatized from the delivery! When they say you forget it, ummm no way. The whole trying for another is very questionable at this juncture. Love my baby boy, but half-way through induction I was really hoping to just have a C-Section. This stuff isn't easy for sure! Inductions are so hard since you're forcing your body to do something it's not ready for yet.

Future entries I plan on writing about and will come when I have time to write:

• Baby Boy's first week of life: low blood sugar issues and jaundice 
• Breastfeeding adventures / struggles 
• Maternity Leave details 
• The drama with my mom 
• Postpartum peri care 
• Postpartum in general 
• 1st month with my new baby 
• Taking care of two  

All in all, I still can't believe I had a baby! I look at him and I sometimes come to tears just thinking of the days when it was questionable if he would actually get here. I feel super blessed to have both of my boys home with me. Our little family is finally together :) 

My Induction Story and my Son's Birth - Day #2

Here is the continuance of my induction story. For how the first day of induction went, please see my entry on Day #1.

Here is what happened on Day #2.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

6:30am: They take the Cervidil out. The cervix check HURT LIKE HELL!!! The nurse didn't tell me what she was doing... but she decided to stretch my cervix while she was in there. She stretched it from a 1 to a 3! Ouch and ouch and ouch!!!! Argh. Not to mention she stretched it during a contraction -- so it was double (triple/quadruple) ouch.

• Effaced: 70%
• Dilation: 3cm 
• Position: -2 

10:30am: We get the green light from the OB to start Pitocin. This means no more eating real food and I would be on a strictly liquid diet. The Pitocin goes through the IV and they would up the dosage every 30 minutes. What was also kinda cool is they switched me to a wireless baby heart rate monitor, which allowed me to get out of bed more and I could wonder around the room. I couldn't go too far though because I needed to be close enough for the wireless signal to reach the computer monitor. But it was soooo nice to get out of bed. I ended up sitting in a chair and watching movies on my phone. 

3:05pm: I went to the bathroom. I felt something like a "pop," I had more bloody show -- my water broke! I was super excited once my water broke because I was thinking this means things were happening. It started to get real REAL at this point. I called my mom to head to the hospital at this point (she hadn't stayed with me in the hospital prior -- but I'll write about that during a separate entry). 

About 5 minutes after my water broke... my contractions went from feeling like bad cramps to being so intense that I couldn't breathe through them. I had to grip onto the bed for dear life to get through the pain. I heard that contractions can be way intense on Pitocin -- and they totally were. 

The nurse asked me if I wanted to get an epidural at this point, that if I did -- it would take 30 minutes to get it. They had to do an IV drip for 30 minutes prior to the epidural being put in. At first I said, "Let me see if I can handle these contracts first." It only took 3 contractions for me to say, "Let's do the epidural!" Once they started the IV drip, I was soooooo cold and shaking. I also had low sugar again, so they gave me some goo to eat to see if it would bring it back up. 

The 30 minutes of waiting for the IV fluids to get in felt like an eternity. 

4:00pm: The epidural guy came in all chipper and happy. I had my mom leave the room while they put in the epidural. It was so weird because I was having these major contractions that rock my body and hurt like hell, then I'm shaking like crazy from the IV fluids... and I had to bend over and "stay as still as I can." Ummm... I was freaking out a bit and totally worried about this chipper/happy go-lucky epidural guy getting it in while my body was thrashing every which way. He was so happy that he just kept saying, "Oh, I'm used to it. I've done so many of these. Don't worry." Hmmm... don't worry? You're just about to stick something in my SPINE. 

So, the worst part about the epidural was getting the numbing agent PRIOR to getting the epidural in. It felt like little needle pricks in my back (which that's probably exactly what they were!). But they hurt like hell, that I actually teared up and cried a bit during that part. It took all my willpower to try to stay still... remember, hurtful contraction pain -- shaking from IV fluids -- now needle pain in my back... Ugh. No one said it would be easy, right? 

Finally, he put in the epidural. I kinda felt it go in -- but I was numb, so it didn't hurt - just felt like the pressure of it. Once they connected the medicine and started the drip, the contracts didn't hurt so darn much. Although I could still feel them a bit. 

I do want to say... that I didn't WANT an epidural originally. I would've liked a natural birth. However, with inductions -- things are just so much more intense, since you're making your body do these things that they're not ready for. You're like forcing it to happen, so they don't happen on the natural cycle. I was open-minded that I may just have to have one. By the time I had the epidural, I was already in the hospital for about 33 hours and having contractions for about 30 hours. I was feeling pretty exhausted that I was actually just hoping for a C-Section, as I wasn't sure I'd be able to physically do a vaginal birth. 

5:00pm: They put in a urine catheter... which is soooo weird. I didn't feel any pain, but I did feel the pressure. Even though I had the epidural, I could still move my legs pretty well -- I just couldn't feel much pain. But once the epidural is put in, you're pretty much stuck in bed and unable to get out. The one glorious thing about the epidural being put in -- the cervical checks don't hurt AT ALL!!! Woohoo! You feel the pressure, but not the intense pain. 

• Effaced: 90%
• Cervix: Anterior 
• Dilation: 3.5 cm 
• Station: 0 

I was really sad to hear I was only 3.5 cm dilated after having such horrible contracts and after my water breaking! Seriously started getting concerned about my body and the pitocin working. Starting wondering, "What if the pitocin doesn't work? What would they try next? Can I handle it?" I was ready to BEG for a C-Section if this all continued. 

6:00pm: They were having a hard time monitoring my contractions, so they put in a IUPC. An intrauterine pressure catheter (IUPC) is a device placed into the amniotic space during labor in order to measure the strength of uterine see website for me info on it. 

• Effaced: 100%
• Dilation: 4cm 
• Station: 0 

Progress at least!! At this point I started feeling itchy. Turns out that the epidural can make you feel itchy! Who knew? I was trying so hard not to scratch myself, but I was mostly itchy on my chest. Also, when you get an epidural -- the nurses "position" you and have to move you every hour or so. We used a peanut ball, which felt oddly comfortable. Baby didn't like it when I laid on my left side, his heart rate would go down, so they had to keep moving me back to my right side. I also was getting my blood sugars checked every hour to make sure they didn't fall too low. 

6:45pm: They added more fluids to my IV and they also put me on oxygen. Which is such a weird feeling having an oxygen mask on. At this point, they also stopped the pitocin for a little bit. The baby didn't like the amount of contractions I was having and was getting a little distressed where his heart rate kept dropping after contractions. 

Ok, when they tell you something like that... it's hard NOT to worry about the baby... 

• Effaced: 100%
• Dilation: 4.5 cm 
• Station: 0

8:00pm: They restart the pitocin. 

10:30pm: Cervical check

• Effaced: 100%
• Dilation: 7cm
• Station: 0

12:20am: Cervical check 

• Effaced: 100%
• Dilation: 9.5 cm
• Station: +1

My notes from the day got less and less after they restarted the pitocin at 8pm. I was really tired at this point and I couldn't sleep. Just exhausted. Not like I could sleep, considering they were checking blood sugars and repositioning me every hour or so. But at this point, when I was 9.5 cm dilated -- I was excited that my baby would be here soon. It was funny, the nurse said she could feel his head and that he had a head of hair on him! Which I thought was so weird that the first person to touch my baby was the nurse, while he was still inside of me... 

At this point, I was also extremely cold -- I started shaking a bit -- and I was really itchy. It all seemed to ramp up. I was also starting to feel the contractions a bit stronger now. This was the only time that I upped my epidural meds so I would be more comfortable. They have a little button you can press to add more drugs, if you want. 

This is the end of Day #2 of my induction. Next up is the birth story! 

My Induction Story and my Son's Birth - Day #1

It's been a long time since I posted an update! Believe it or not, it's been so busy / hectic -- that this is the first time I've been able to boot up my computer since my last entry. I'm hoping to get caught up soon! First, here is the induction story. Since I had a long induction, I'll split this up into days. Here is Day #1.

Saturday, May 27, 2017 

6:30am: I call L&D at my hospital to make sure I wasn't bumped to a later time. They've been so busy, that they were rescheduling inductions a lot. Luckily, I wasn't bumped and I needed to be there by 7:30am. I was super excited about that!

7:30am: I arrive and I get all checked into my room. When I was changing into the hospital attire, I noticed some blood on my underwear. I was hoping that meant "things were happening" on their own and that the induction wouldn't take too long. Maybe this was my bloody show finally making its appearance?

8:30am: First cervical check.... OUCH!! WTH. Those things hurt like hell!!!! No joke. At this point I was wondering if I would be able to have a vaginal non-medicated birth since I can't even handle them checking my cervix. With modern technology, it'd be nice if they had a better way to check for dilation! At this point:

• Effaced: 70%
• Dilated: 1cm
• Position: -3
• Blood Pressure: 162/101 -- VERY HIGH 

The nurse also told me that in my chart it said I had mild pulmonary hypertension. I NEVER heard of this and had no clue what the heck that is. Google is not your friend. Pulmonary Hypertension can be fatal in childbirth... with all my monitoring, I couldn't fathom why my MFM or OB would never tell me I had it? The OB on-call and the nurse were trying to track down all my medical records and read through them.... because, you know -- my chart is HUGE. If you recall, I saw a cardiologist back in November and my MFM said there were no concerns... so this totally freaked me out. Not helpful for my blood pressure at all. They were actually thinking I may have preeclamsia at this point. 

9:30am: The nurse puts in the IV... took 3 tries and I got a huge bruise on the missed tries. Hard veins suck. 

10:00am: At this point, I was wondering if it would be better to do a C-Section if I had the pulmonary hypertension vs. trying to do an induction... that it would be safer for both me and the baby. The doctor finally came in after reading my entire chart and told me that I did not have pulmonary hypertension, that my chart was wrong. The OB inputted it wrong and the wrong input just kept carrying over in my chart without being corrected... WTF, what a big scare that was totally unnecessary. At the same time, I'm glad the nurse/OB took the time to research it to make sure everything was OK. 

The OB OK'd moving forward with cervical ripening. OB was guessing the baby would be about 8lbs... I was curious to see if she was right! I started to relax a little at this point after the scare of having pulmonary hypertension. 

10:40am: They start cervical ripening #1 - prostaglandin. They also take blood work. Ok, the cervical ripening stuff... if the cervical checks hurt -- this HURT much more. They have to rub it in everywhere on your cervix. Ouch and ouch!!! :( 

After this, I kind of tried to nap and had lunch. 

11:05am: Started to get some cramps. Thinking and hoping that it's working! All my blood work came back fine. 

12-1pm: I was able to get up and walk around. Went to the healing gardens and the chapel to pray. I finally let myself cry at the chapel. The scare of the pulmonary hypertension was pretty difficult to handle and then the utter relief of everything being ok... Things just did not start the way I hoped or expected because of that. 

Just to note: walking around in a hospital gown around a hospital is kinda weird. Especially when you don't have underwear on. LOL. 

1:35pm: Re-apply cervical ripening for a 2nd time. But no real progress on dilation, which was a big disappointment. 

• Effaced: 70%
• Dilated: 1cm
• Position: -2

3:00pm: I went to the restroom and there was a lot of blood on my legs and in the toilet. Finally, a REAL bloody show! Things had to be happening now, right? (Nope, not really - but I was hopeful.) My blood sugar was also really low, at 69. They gave me snacks and juice, but it only went up a little, to 79.

4:00pm: Re-apply cervical repining for a 3rd time. With the prostaglandin, they can only apply it 3 times, then they move onto something different. Can you believe it --- absolutely NO changes. I was getting worried at this point that maybe I'd have to have a C-Section after all.

5:30pm: Since my blood sugar was so low, they only had me take 1/2 dose of insulin.

6:30pm: We move onto cervical ripener #2, Cervidil. This was the most painful thing I think I ever experienced... was them putting in the Cervidil. It looks like a white piece of ribbon and they insert it into your cervix. I screamed and cried with this one... it's no joke. After they put it in, you can't walk for 12 hours. You have to be VERY careful when you go to the bathroom, that you don't accidentally pull it out. The string hangs out of your vagina, kinda like a tampon string. I started getting major cramps throughout the night -- that I couldn't sleep. They had to give me a sleeping pill to help me sleep, which I was hesitant to take. I could've taken another one if I wanted, but I only opted for one. It helped a little... By this point my blood pressure was back to normal. Yay for small miracles. If my blood pressure had continued to be high, it would've been bad for me and the baby.

That's the end of Day #1. More to come with Day #2 and then finally the birth of my son on Day #3.

I'd like to add that the entire time during the induction, I was strapped to monitors:

• Monitoring the baby's heartbeat. There's a strap around my stomach. 
• I was connected to the IV. 

Getting up was a hassle, since I had to unhook from the baby heart monitor and then push my IV stand with me anywhere I went. It was also hard to sleep, since anytime I would move or switch sides -- the monitor on my stomach would need to be adjusted. Sleep during induction? I wish it was possible. Very uncomfortable. Not to mention the beds in L&D are designed for giving birth -- so they're highly uncomfortable to begin with. 

All in all, Day #1 -- not much progress with induction! 

37w+6d: OB and NST

Had my last OB appointment today... and last official NST. My stats:

Weight: +19 lbs
Blood Pressure: 128/82

The appointment went well. Baby boy looks good, not stressed at all. But he also doesn't seem to have dropped! I'm still having a hard time breathing and I'm getting kicked in the ribs. Not to mention the acid reflux.

I talked to the OB about what's going to happen with induction. I guess it can take 2-4 days just for the induction to work! Yikes, I wasn't prepared for that long in the hospital. She said it's because you're trying to make your body do something in a few days that it would normally do in 2 weeks. We won't really know how things will go down until they start the process and see how my body reacts. They'll do cervical ripening first & then pitocin after my cervix starts to move along. They won't suggest a C-Section unless the baby (or me) is in distress. Which is nice, but sounds like it can take awhile.

I have my son covered for childcare at least. In also checked out a few e-books and audiobooks to get me through things. Will bring my laptop too.

I also talked to the OB about some crazy scary articles I've been reading (showing up on my FB feed) about deaths during childbirth. Ugh. She tried to reassure me that those types of deaths normally happen under certain circumstances and that I don't really fall into those risk categories. So not to worry! Lol easier said than done.

I am worried about L&D... but trying not to crazily obsess about it or anything. Things will happen as they happen...

My little brother arrived into town last night. He'll be watching my dog while I'm in her hospital and then will watch my son if I'm still in the hospital on Tuesday. My son will stay with his God Mother for the weekend.

So... here I am on the eve of induction and it still doesn't feel real! I was meaning to write a whole thing, maybe I will while I'm waiting for my body to react to the induction Meds! Will see. Either way, baby boy will be making his appearance very very soon!

37w+3d: Graduation from MFM

I had my very last appointment with my MFM... it's so weird to think that I won't be going back into her office any time soon! My MFM has been such a big part of my pregnancy, almost all my monitoring was done over there and I saw her more than I saw my OB. I wish she delivered babies, because it would've been nice to have her deliver my baby boy.

My stats:

• Weight: +19 lbs 
• Blood Pressure: 110/80

The nurse was a little worried about my blood pressure, since they were so close together. I have to admit, I don't really understand blood pressure readings. I just always ask, "is that ok?" My MFM wasn't concerned at all though. 

Only one change in meds, increasing night time Humulin N to 70iu. 

I hugged my MFM and thanked her for all her help throughout my pregnancy. I'm not sure I would've made it through without all of her support and monitoring diligence. There were a lot of scary things going on in my pregnancy and although I was scared as hell a majority of the time -- I knew that I was getting the best care possible and the monitoring that I needed to make sure my baby boy was ok. 

Saying goodbye to my MFM was almost as hard as saying goodbye to my RE! :(  It's strange how you grow so attached to these providers and it becomes normal to see them so often, then it's time to just stop going there as they've done all they could do for their speciality. 

Bitter sweet for sure.  I didn't even think about it being my "last" appointment and I totally didn't bring anything as a thank you! Ugh. I'm definitely going to make a trip to their office after the baby is born to meet my baby and maybe bring them some fruit or something. Still need to do the rounds at the RE office as well. It'll be nice to stop by there, wonder if the staff and nurses will be the same! 

Can't believe I'm this close to giving birth... it's so surreal. 

37 Weeks Pregnant - 7 more days to go!

How far along: 37 weeks and 1 week to go for induction at 38 weeks. That means 7 days left!!!!

How big is baby: Romaine Lettuce. Ovia app: 

Weight Gain:  +16 lbs 

Stretch Marks: Nothing new to report. 

Symptoms: Being sick is horrible - just horrible. Between a sore throat, insomnia, and mucus -- I am getting zero rest. 

Sleeping: No restful sleep. 

Food cravings: Anything sweet will do! 

Food aversions: None. 

Maternity Clothes: Nothing new. 

Movement: He doesn't move as much as he used to. I'm guessing it's because he's running out of room in there. When he does move, it can hurt or feel highly uncomfortable. 

What I did / Got for Baby: I had maternity pictures taken this week :) 

What I miss: being able to breathe... just taking a good deep breath sounds like heaven right now. 

Workouts: --- Ugh. 

What I'm looking forward to: My last week of pregnancy. 

Best moment of the week: Taking some maternity pictures to capture my pregnancy. 

Rants/Raves:  Rant - I hate, just hate being sick. Being sick and pregnant this close to delivery is just sucky. 

Appointments Next Week:  

1. 5/23: MFM and BPP
2. 5/26: OB and NST 

36 Weeks: MFM BPP + OB NST

My 36 Week appointment recaps.

36w+3d: MFM and BPP

My Stats:

• Weight: + 16 lbs 
• Blood Pressure: 104/60 

The appointment went well. They were a little concerned that my amniotic fluid was low. But it wasn't "low-low" to be concerned about, it was just low for where mine usually is. No changes to meds this week. 

My A1C for third trimester was really good at 5.4% -- which is excellent! 

36w+6d: OB and NST 

My States:

• Weight: +16 lbs
• Blood Pressure: 102/72

The NST went well, baby boy looked good. I did share that I had a sore throat and had a lot of mucus, couldn't sleep. I tested negative on the rapid strep test... but my OB put me on antibiotics, just in case -- to try to clear me up. 

They also made me use one of those masks since I wasn't feeling well. Those things are so hard to breathe in! 

My GBS test came back negative. 

36 Weeks Pregnant - entering my 9th month and only 2 weeks to go!

It's so weird to think I'm entering my 9th month of pregnancy. Is it still strange that it still doesn't feel "real" to me? I'll be meeting my baby boy in 2 weeks. I've been getting all teary eyed at the idea of seeing him for the first time and hearing him for the first time. But the things that I'm looking forward to the most: 1) The "magic" hour after birth where we get to do skin-to-skin and it'll just be him and me getting to know each other and 2) My boys meeting for the first time. Every time my son sees a small baby, he asks me "Can I pet the baby?" LOL.

I haven't thought much about labor and delivery... I guess because I don't want to get my hopes up in one particular direction and have things go the completely other way. I don't have any misconceptions that it's going to be "easy" in any way! But it'd be nice if things progressed smoothly no matter which direction things went.

How far along: 36 weeks and 2 weeks to go for induction at 38 weeks. That means 14 days left!!!!

How big is baby: Papaya. Ovia app: 

Weight Gain:  +16 lbs 

Stretch Marks: Even though I don't *think* my breasts have grown, I have noticed that I'm getting some stretch marks on the sides by my armpits. 

Symptoms: Nothing terribly new. Same stuff, different day. I am highly emotional though, crying at a bunch of silly things. Baby commercials are the worse!!!! 

Sleeping:  Nothing new. Reflex still kicking my bottom and insomnia winning. 

Food cravings: BBQ and ICE CREAM... oh why do I have to crave ice cream and why does it taste so good that I can't limit it to one bite? 

Food aversions: None. 

Maternity Clothes: I'm mostly thinking about nursing clothing now. I'm so tempted to buy more tops. I really need some nursing tank tops -- badly! I have a bunch of regular tank tops that I can possibly use (pull down from the top), but I want to be able to unhook the strap. I'm back and forth if I should get these now or wait until after baby boy has arrived. 

Movement: Things are squishy in there for him, so I definitely feel it when he has big movements. It shakes my entire body sometimes. Although he moves a ton, I still can't manage to get it on video. 

What I did / Got for Baby: Didn't really do much specifically for baby. It was one of "those weeks" again, but hoping that things are going to calm down over the next few weeks and I can start focusing on finishing everything I need to finish before he arrives. 

What I miss: being able to get up like a normal person. Sitting down goes ok, it's the having to get up where it gets tricky! 

Workouts:  -- with two weeks left, probably not going to happen. 

What I'm looking forward to: Finishing my Baby-To-Do List!! Which I guess I have to finalize what is on the list first :) 

Best moment of the week: Seeing baby boy on the growth ultrasound. I just love seeing him and matching his movements to what I'm feeling. 

Rants/Raves:  

Rant - my son has his third case of strep throat this year! My poor baby... 

Rant - I don't like my son's daycare and I'm going to be moving him. More on this later. 

Rave - had a small work celebration for baby. Was nice to celebrate, even when they don't know me that well (been at the company a year). 

Rave - I have my official last day of work scheduled to be 5/19! So only 5 more working days for me. Can't wait!!!! 

Appointments Next Week:  

1. 5/16: MFM and BPP
2. 5/19: OB and NST 

35w+6d: Weekly OB Visit + NST

Had my weekly OB visit today. My status:

• Weight: +16 lbs 
• Blood Pressure: 122/70 

My son is home sick from preschool (double ear infection and strep through --> AGAIN!), so I brought him with me to my appointment. Amazingly enough, this is only the 5th appointment EVER that I've had to bring him with me. 

He did relatively OK during the appointment. It helped that they had toys in there. It also helped that I brought his Leap Pad and headphones! He also ended up watching Netflix on my phone for a bit. But it all helped him be distracted enough not to press the buttons on the NST machine...! Because that's the first place he went for when he walked into the room. LOL. 

The NST went well. No issues. Baby seems fine. I had my A1C blood drown again today. I also had the Group B Strep (GBS) test done today. I should get both results next week. Luckily the GBS test was just a quick swab of the vagina and anus, so no speculum (thank goodness). 

I wanted to talk about induction methods... but my OB said it really varies per person, so she couldn't say what they would suggest the day of. Oh well. 

Overall, easy appointment. Although it took longer because of the extra tests. 

Next Steps: 5/19 Weekly OB and NST visit. 

35w+3d: MFM + Last Growth Ultrasound

I had my weekly visit with my MFM today and had my LAST growth ultrasound. I have to say that it was the quickest growth ultrasound I've had. Normally they take up to an hour (or more). But today it took 30 minutes! Maybe because there's no room for him to move around and hide?

Baby boy looks good:

• Overall: 44th Percentile 
• Head: 94th Percentile 
• Abdominal Circumference: 23.6 percentile 
• Estimated Weight: 5 lbs, 12 oz 

They had a hard time getting the abdominal circumference because of the angle. Last time we were in the 80th percentile. So, who knows how accurate these things are. 

But good news: No need for a scheduled C-Section! Woohoo! He's actually looking pretty average in size. They're guessing he'll be about 7-ish lbs for delivery. 

I'm very happy to hear that despite all the scares over this pregnancy, the worry over my blood sugar levels, the worry about having to go with a C-Section -- that baby boy is doing just fine and is an average size. 

I realize that things may progress where I may need an unplanned C-Section... but I'm happy that I'll get a shot at induction first and see how things go. 

My stats:

• Weight: +15 lbs
• Blood Pressure: 112/60 

MFM did mention to me that I should be prepared for what happens post-delivery. They'll be closely monitoring my blood sugar levels during labor. After baby boy is born, they may need to bring him to the NICU to monitor his blood sugar levels if they fluctuate too much. I'm really hoping that things will go smoothly and he won't have to go to the NICU and it makes me sad thinking that he'll be separated from me shortly after being born... But I'm glad she mentioned it so I can prepare mentally at the possibility and not be caught off guard if that happens. 

No changes to my insulin levels. Yay for that. 

Next Steps: Weekly monitoring next Tuesday, Diabetes consult/review and BPP 

35 Weeks Pregnant

How far along: 35 weeks and THREE WEEKS to go until Induction Day on 5/27! That's 21 days...!!

How big is baby: A pineapple. Ovia app: 

Weight Gain:  +15-16 lbs 

Stretch Marks: Nothing new-ish. 

Symptoms: The fatigue is kicking my butt. I'm so tired of saying, "I'm tired." It's also weird because when I think I can't possible feel more exhausted, I have a day where I'm just completely done. It's been really busy at work and busy in my personal life, and I can totally feel how depleted my body is. Especially when you take into consideration my insomnia. 

Sleeping:  Acid reflux is not your friend. Neither is insomnia. Neither is having to pee every 1-2 hours. Combine the three and you have one grumpy sleep deprived Mama. I've been sleeping on the couch in an upright position to try and counter the reflux, this in turn gives me a horrible pain in my neck! When the reflux seems to subside, I try to go back into my bed... once I get comfy, I have to pee. It's all a vicious cycle at this point. Doesn't the universe realize that I'm going to have another little human to take care of in a few weeks and won't have a chance to sleep? It'd be nice to feel "rested" before L&D and before baby boy makes his appearance. 

Food cravings: Chocolate is THE thing and cereal. 

Food aversions:  N/A

Maternity Clothes:  Nothing new. 

Movement: Baby boy has some really strong movements. Probably because he has no where to go these days. But sometimes I feel him kicking or pushing on my ribs and it gets a bit uncomfortable. Other times he gets in an odd position and it's just uncomfortable. Other times his movements are so strong that they startle me! But I LOVE it when I feel him move because I know that he's OK in there. There are periods where he doesn't move as much and I get worried, so I poke at him trying to get him to give me some movement so I know he's ok. 

What I did / Got for Baby: I bought a bed rest/backrest pillow for my bed, in hopes it'll help with nighttime breastfeeding. I also joined a few Facebook breastfeeding support groups in hope to glean some knowledge and have a place to ask questions if I need it. I've been looking into Mommy groups, but can't find any that interest me. 

What I miss:  Being able to go #2 regularly. Constipation is not your friend in pregnancy. Some women get hemorrhoids during pregnancy. I haven't (yet!), but the constipation sometimes makes me want to cry! 

Workouts: caring for a 3 year old count? I'm sure it does. 

What I'm looking forward to: my growth ultrasound 

Best moment of the week: Getting my induction day! 

Rants/Raves: Nothing this week. Shocker I know. 

Appointments Next Week: 

1. 5/9 MFM + growth ultrasound
2. 5/12 OB + NST