IUI Cycle #3: Two Week Wait version 3.0

I wasn't sure how I was going to handle the TWW. Originally, I wanted to track it like I did last time. Because you know the minute I don't track things, will be the cycle that is successful and I would've wished I tracked things.

I already know I'll have all the progesterone side-effects. I had them for the first two cycles. So, I don't really need to dive into those sorts of things again. I think this time I'm just going to wing it and write when I have something on my mind. I'm going to try my best not to track every single day, as that makes it feel just that much longer!

After the IUI

I had some cramps the day of the IUI. I was also extremely emotional the night of my IUI. Just couldn't get into a "normal" frame of mind. I can't remember the last time I allowed myself to wallow like that. But I think it's good to let myself feel my emotions. Most of the time I feel like I bottle them up inside. It felt good to really let myself FEEL.

I read through some of my old diaries where I first started considering having a baby on my own. Way back in 2008/2009. I wanted to start at 32 years old. I had these "plans" to attack the dating world and "get out there". Wanted to make sure I put a good effort towards Plan A before having a baby on my own. The dating thing didn't really work for me. I decided to become a foster parent in 2010, which pushed back my TTC timeline AND my potential dating life.  Funny how life works out sometimes...

Things to keep me busy: 

• Grey's Anatomy Season 11 marathon on Netflix - Bad Idea, I was a crying mess! 
• Read some novels - got through 5 1/2 books. And yes, I was a crying mess over some of the books as well! 
• Had a business trip out of State. 
• Social Events: Attended a birthday party, an awards event, had meetings. 
• Started a declutter project! Got a lot done! 

Symptoms and Feelings: 

• I was an emotional wreck for the week after my IUI. Easy to cry about everything! Which is totally not like me! Hate that my emotions are all over the place.  
• The progesterone had me exhausted. I was highly unproductive and the house got a little out of control until I started my declutter project!!! 
• Hot Flashes starting at 8dpIUI 
• Congested - not sure if related to TTC, but started about 8dpIUI. 
• Starting getting cramps about 9dpIUI - AF coming? By 11dpIUI was positive AF was coming, but thinking the Progesterone is delaying it. Which, if AF is coming - would work out in my best interest for AF to be late... as I'm traveling! So, the timing would work better if I start when I get back, so I don't have to skip the next cycle (if this cycle isn't a success). 

Thoughts: 

• Although I tried not to focus on it, I couldn't help but think about a future with a little Baby C. I've even decided on potential names...! 
• Thoughts of a 4th cycle make me feel so tired and exhausted. 
• I hate and love Google so much. I need to stay away from it. No matter what I Google, it can't tell me if this cycle will be a success.  
• I felt so emotion this entire TWW... made me wonder how much more of this I can take if this time doesn't work. I'm such a jumble of emotions. Why is this TWW so emotional? 
• I'm pretty sure that this cycle will end up not being successful. 

Beta Test Results on Friday, if AF doesn't show up first. Since I had my IUI so late in the cycle, I'm due for AF any day now.