Little Miss Has Left

Little Miss left today. It took over 3 weeks for the judge to sign the CPC (Change of Physical Custody) for Little Miss to be sent back home. But it finally happened. The Client Manager really pushed it through at the end with the possibility of a disruption hanging out in the air...

I have to admit, I was very anxious for her to go home. I just wasn't sure if I would be able to continue fostering her if the CPC wasn't signed. I'm grateful that it was signed and that she was able to be reunified with her birth family.

I sent a bunch of her stuff with her (clothes, toys, shoes, blankets, etc).  Sent "Transition" Information such as all medical specialists seen, normal routine, shot records, medical card, toys, blankets, clothes, shoes, and life book. When I received her Life Book, we read it together. I was happy to be able to put together a complete Life Book for the time that she was with me. She really did grow a lot from day 1 until today. She also really enjoyed reading a book all about her. The title was "All About Me."

I have to be completely honest about things, since that is what I'm trying to do on this blog - is be completely honest about my feelings, even the hard stuff. And this is extremely difficult for me to admit.

Every foster child that has left - every single one - I have cried for them... I was their mother for a short period of time and having them leave was difficult.

Yet, with Little Miss, there were no tears. Absolutely none. Instead, I felt like there was this huge weight lifted off of my shoulders and that I can finally breathe a sigh of relief... I feel bad for not shedding a tear. I especially thought I would be emotional because I've started back up on the Clomid! But nope, there was only a feeling of relief. All of the anxiety and stress from the last few months -- is gone. All of it. It's so strange and something I didn't expect.

The only thing I can sum it up to is, it was not a good fit. I did what I could for her, she progressed really well while she lived with me, she came a long way. It just wouldn't have worked in the long-run.

I'll have to reflect on this after she's been gone for a while, when I have more perspective.