It's a BOY!

It's so funny, I was convinced I was having a GIRL! I really was. Partly because my entire TTC journey I've been dreaming about having a baby girl. I even had a dream in 2009, that I wrote down. Here it is: 

August 31, 2009
I had a dream I was in my brother's room at our old house (that we grew up in). I had two kids: a boy who was a toddler and a baby girl, just a few months old. The little boy had straight blonde hair. The little girl had a round face with brown hair. Little boy was sleeping while the baby girl just starred at me. I walked away from the room with her and was humming to her a familiar tune... but I can't remember it now. The humming seemed to be putting her to sleep.

What's interesting to note about this dream is, I had it in 2009. The toddler I believe is my son... straight blonde hair. At the time, I thought that I would end up marrying a white dude that had blonde hair! But no, my son is adopted and I truly believe that I dreamt about him before he was born. Which in itself is pretty amazing. I've always felt that I was meant to be his mom and that God brought us together. 

Now, what's funny is a dreamt about a baby girl. I guess with babies, when they're only a few months old, it can be hard to discern if baby is a boy or girl. In the dream, I just assumed the baby was a girl because the baby looked very similar to me. That's why I always thought that when I got pregnant I would definitely have a girl. Everything seemed to align with my dream = toddler blonde hair son and baby girl. 

Well, a few weeks ago I had my ONLY dream about having a baby boy. It was a little strange. 

I was at a theme park and they were doing ultrasounds for people. The audience watched the TV monitor and people would "vote" what they thought the gender was. On the screen, you can clearly see a penis. The audience members said, "Yes, it's a boy." Then, I went to the cashier to check-out and purchase pictures (like you do at a theme park). At that time, I touched my tummy (in the dream) and called the baby by his name. When I woke up, I remember feeling really happy and content. I then touched my tummy and repeated the baby's name and it felt RIGHT. 

I had a girls name picked out... but it never felt "right" to me. I love the name, but it just didn't seem to fit and it felt a bit forced. Now I know why... because the boy's name was the right fit all along :) I remember when I was thinking about names and writing them down. I liked a lot of names, but none of them felt like "this is the one" until I found my son's name. I wrote it down and I knew if I had a boy that this would be his name. 

I am sad that I won't be able to buy little girl clothes, because they're just so darn cute!!! 

I'll admit, I've always thought the benefit of a little brother for my son would be a better fit for our family. A brother-brother relationship will be a totally different experience than a brother-sister relationship. For the better? Eh, who knows - I guess it depends on the siblings! But I get this wonderful feeling every time I think of my two boys growing up together. 

As a single mom... the thought of two boys is a great feeling. There's something so special about a mother-son relationship. It also just feels totally "right" for my family right now. 

Thinking about my growing family brings tears of happiness and joy. It fills my heart with so much love. After all this time, it's starting to feel "real" - like this is all really happening. I really want to hold onto that feeling as I go through all the extra testing and monitoring to make sure my baby boy is OK and is healthy. 

But all in all, I still can't believe it... I'm having a baby BOY!!!