Something Unexpected - Getting Closer to Permanency

I received a call from the Parent Aide for Little Guy today. The Parent Aide (PA) is the one that supervises visitations between foster children and their birth parents. Right now, Little Guy has visits 2x's a week with his birth father (BF).

The PA told me that at Monday's visit the BF said that he thinks he's going to give up on trying to get Little Guy back, that he doesn't think he's going to get him back anyways. He also said that he thinks he'll have a "good life" with me... 

Today, the PA picked up Little Guy and brought him to the visit --- but the BF did not show up. He also missed another meeting with the PA earlier today. The PA is thinking that visitations are going to stop now, as the BF has given up any hope of getting Little Guy back and isn't working the case plan. I should get confirmation tomorrow if visits are going to continue or not. 

The trial to Terminate Parental Rights (TPR) is in 2 weeks. It's interesting that BF has changed his tune since the last court hearing, which was only 2 weeks ago. So, I'm not 100% sure that BF is serious about this or not. He has a history of flip-flopping (i.e. doing really well, then doing nothing). If the BF does not show up for the trial in 2 weeks, they will sever his parental rights that day... 

Mixed Feelings 

I am elated and I'm also sad... 

I am happy because this can possibly mean a smoother ride to adopt Little Guy. He's already 17 months old and has been in the system for his entire life. Giving him permanency would be wonderful. Also, it's been a roller coaster ride for me wondering, hoping, praying that I can adopt him and not knowing if/when he will be leaving. If they sever rights at the trial, I am looking at possibly adopting him in August -- which would be wonderful. 

I'm sad because I know Little Guy's birth parents love him. They really do adore him. A lot of people can pass judgement on birth parents, it's easy to do... But that doesn't mean that there wasn't any love there. Adoption is not only a wonderful beginning for the "new family" -- it's also a loss for the child and their connection to their past. As happy as I want to feel about this unexpected decision by the BF... I still feel such remorse for Little Guy's birth parents. 

It reminds me of the time his Birth Mother (BM) cried after a hearing last year and hugged me for comfort. It reminds me of the time the BF cried after mediation because they were talking about adoption and not reunification. They love him and although they are not going to get him back... they did stick around this entire time (although inconsistently). Some foster children, their parents bolt and never look back. I have to say, that when I tell Little Guy about his birth parents, I'll be able to say that they tried and that they loved him dearly. 

What Happens Next

1. The TPR trial will happen. 
2. Judge needs to rule to "Terminate Parental Rights" for both the BF and BM. 
3. Once TPR happens, they will schedule a "goodbye visit" with the birth parents. 
4. Little Guy's case will get moved into Adoptions at CPS and he will get assigned an adoption Case Manager. 
5. I will need to get an adoption lawyer. 
6. My foster care agency will do my Home Study and do my certification to adopt (takes about 30 days). I can't start this process until TPR happens. 
7. Once my certification to adopt is complete, I can schedule an adoption date (after completing the loads of paperwork from the adoption lawyer and from CPS Adoptions Case Manager). The adoption date can be expedited to within 60 days. 

So, it's not over yet! As you can see, there's still a long process to adopt and the timeline is all contingent on BF not contesting the TPR. 

I cried pretty hard when I heard the news about BF... Tears because I can see the end to Little Guy's foster care life and see the "permanency" at the end of all this. I still can't let myself believe he'll be my Forever Son and that I will be able to adopt him. It's been such a long road of ups and downs -- to potentially have the end by SOON is surreal to me.

What's interesting is that I was having an emotional morning (I blame it on the progesterone!). I was crying and praying to God about my Little Guy - how blessed I feel to have Little Guy in my life, how I love him so dearly, and how I hope for him to have permanency sooner rather than later. Also, about how hard this journey has been so far for me. I also prayed for his birth parents. To get this news today... it couldn't have come at a better time. 

I pray the next steps go smoothly. I will continue to pray for his birth parents. I pray for my Little Guy. I pray that we can start our Family C together.